Educator Fernanda Passos, 32, widow of singersongwriter Erasmo Carlos, revealed last weekend that she went several days without bathing to avoid “losing” the last remains of her husband, who died last week.
The statement was made through a publication on social networks on Saturday (25) and caused divided opinions among the educator’s supporters.
“I took a shower! Little black guy, every day when I took a shower, I would still call out from the bathroom: I took a shower! And you replied: Woohoo! I would finish the ritual and find you in our bed, I would hardly sit down and you’d say: where’s the smell?’ ‘Oh dear, maybe my missing bath has something to do with it: I was scared,’ said Fernanda.
the report of syringes spoke to experts to understand what explains the widow’s behavior during the grieving process.
“It is common for people to ascribe memories to objects and carry value there in relation to the lost person. Hygiene problems are rather untypical things, but they can happen, with this idealization of wearing something related to the person who has been lost and died,” explains Yuri Busin, psychologist and doctor of behavioral neurosciences from the PUCRS (Pontifical Catholic University of Rio Grande do Sul).
However, the professional cautions that caution should be exercised in the relationship between grief and depression — a common confusion when it comes to moments of deep sadness. “Grief is one thing, depression is another thing. Everything has to be evaluated very carefully [ela] it goes away.”
However, when diagnosed with depression, it is possible to identify difficulties in performing basic daytoday activities.
“It’s too early to talk about it, but when we’re suffering from depression, it’s very difficult to carry out some basic behaviors like hygiene, changing diet or sleeping. But that’s not diagnosed overnight,” he adds. Juri.
According to the specialist, in cases like Fernanda’s, it is essential to go through all the stages of grief.
“Grief has to be experienced. It cannot simply be ignored. It really needs to be experienced and processed, worked through and confronted, it can get better many times in the short term,” says Yuri Busin.
For clinical psychologist Gisleine Yamada, there is no right formula for dealing with suffering: “It is living one day at a time, marking every page of your calendar with love and contemplating all the richness that lies in this relationship, to the point where you’re thankful for the life she lived with that person”.