The clitoris has one function: to give pleasure. It was Satisfyer, with its boom in 2019, that brought the topic to the table after a masterful advertising strategy on networks and media. Sex toys then went from something that wasn’t talked about, a taboo that allowed discussions only in whispers and in discreet get-togethers with friends, to appearing on Netflix series as a standard-bearer of female pleasure. Many people who had never dared to seek this pleasure for themselves were tempted. Now the sex toy is a part of their life and they are proud to say that they not only have it, but that it is essential in their bedroom.
Those who have tried it know that the reason is that its use is easy and almost instantaneous, as its intensity guarantees that you will reach orgasm in just a few minutes. However, there has been a growing number of voices for some time now that speak of a specific counterpart in the form of dependency. To the dismay of many, a growing number of sexual health experts are warning that hundreds of users have been going to the doctor in the last year because they fear they won’t be able to achieve orgasm without their sucker. The question is always the same: “Does Satisfyer make my clitoris numb?” The reason for this doubt is that it is becoming increasingly difficult for her to achieve orgasm without her toy.
The issue is so worrying that it has reached social networks, where renowned porn actresses, sex coaches and content creators have dared to speak about it. “I never wanted to do it because sex toys have changed my life and I love it, but I received comments every day from women asking me to make videos about it. And when it happened to me too, I felt like I had to speak out,” says Lola Lolita, sexual content creator.
Lolita was able to see how she had to increase the intensity of her vacuum cleaner so that it could do the same work as when she started with the lowest power. However, what worries him most is the fact that he cannot achieve orgasm during sex with his partner without both leaning on the Satisfyer. She also relies on the jerk when she masturbates: “It’s very frustrating, I can’t come on my own anymore.”
The director of the Psicopartner psychology center, Ángel Guillen, a health worker specializing in sexology, explains that sensitivity can be lost due to improper use of the suction device. The reason for this is that the device creates a very high blood flow, which leads to overstimulation of the clitoris. “We find that Satisfyer can cause habituation in the body, meaning the body gets used to it and no longer has the same effect,” explains Guillen.
She’s not the only one this happens to. Mónica, Manuela and Diana, who prefer not to give their last name to protect their privacy, lead hectic lives that often leave them no time to explore their bodies and give themselves pleasure. They admit that in a sexual relationship with a man they almost never manage to achieve orgasm, but that their satisfyer, as cold as it is effective, always does its job well.
Talking to each other, they realized that their sex toys are closely linked to the strenuous rhythms they lead: “It’s a quick orgasm that gives you time to get to work, but with the sucker you explore your body not really, “You don’t give yourself your time either, you don’t even imagine how you feel pleasure through your fantasies,” says Diana.
Worried that her clitoris might lose sensitivity, Manuela took matters into her own hands: “When I use it a lot, I play with the speeds so my vulva doesn’t get used to just one type of stimulation,” she says. For Mónica it is a matter of instant gratification: “The level of pleasure that the vibrator creates can take me to a level that is very difficult to compare with any other type of stimulation, and this also has an impact in the long run “It affected sex with my partner,” confess.
Health psychologist Aida López, director of the Bangardia Center, explains that the very constant use of a sex toy at maximum power can cause insensitivity in the clitoris. “In the clinic we recommend the use of the clitoral sucker, but warn that it is not good if it is the only source of stimulation.”
If a woman comes to us with this problem, the consultation should first examine what is the cause of her insensitivity and exclude all other external factors. Finally, if it is determined that this effect is caused by the suction device, the woman is asked to reduce the frequency of use and reduce the power. “You have to dedicate time to pleasure,” says López.
The gynecologist and author of the book En la cama tú manda, Alejandro Montoya, emphasizes that this does not mean that the Satisfyer is not good or bad, much less that it desensitizes the clitoris, but that its stimulation is so high and concentrated, that he is very difficult to reach. This level of pleasure in a sexual relationship as a couple: “85% of women get more pleasure from the clitoris with penetration, the key is knowing each other.” The only side effect a Satisfyer can have is to give pleasure “, he says.
The Vice President of the Sexcuela Association, Beatriz Guerrero, is an expert in psychosocial rehabilitation of people with serious mental disorders and training in sex education, and assures that many of her patients come to her practice with the same doubts: “Sex toys concentrate a lot of pleasure in one almost immediate moment, and this can cause our brain to get used to the instant reward and become lazy.” For this reason, the work of sexologists in the union is to explore the erotic desire of couples and cultivate it by they create other types of pleasure in sexual encounters, that is, go beyond actions that are reduced to the quick search for pleasure. Orgasm.
Patients also come to the office of gynecologist and Vice President of the Society for Contraception and Reproductive Health Isabel Silva Reus and ask whether their clitoris might be less sensitive. Reus explains that this often occurs in women who have not had sex with another person for a long time or who started their sex life with Satisfyer, which got them used to power and immediate stimulation: “It’s just a matter of varying the forms.” to create that pleasure,” he advises.
Sex coach, female sexuality expert and co-creator of sex toy brand La Maleta Rosada, Stephany Raymond, agrees, explaining that it’s not that the clitoris becomes desensitized, but rather that the brain becomes sluggish. “The recommendation is not to demonize it, but to understand that we always need to vary the source of the stimulus to switch between the hand and other games. It works the same way with two people. Pleasure comes in an infinite number of ways. What a joy to discover new things,” he says.
Sex toys are becoming increasingly popular among women and men. 31.4% of Spaniards use them to achieve orgasm, two to three times a week, according to the study on the use of erotic toys 2023, prepared by the Diversual Academy and which surveyed more than 5,000 people.
For sex expert Patricia Rincón, all orgasms are good, even the immediate one who is just looking for a quick way to relieve stress. Rincón has been giving sex and toy workshops to women across Spain for 13 years and has seen women finally stop relying on another person to find pleasure. “There are many women who have never had an orgasm and achieved it with the suction cup. We cannot lose this battle for pleasure,” he comments.