Journalist and presenter Jocelyne Cazin returned to the death of her colleague Gaétan Girouard during the documentary “Onde de choc,” broadcast on TVA on Thursday evening, and claims to have long felt guilt over her friend's suicide.
• Also read: Gaétan Girouard: Shockwave: “It’s a beautiful gift of life”
• Also read: “Gaétan Girouard: Shockwave”: The last days that could have alarmed his relatives
• Also read: Gaétan Girouard: Shockwave: “The documentary was very helpful for us” – Natalie Préfontaine, widow of the journalist
On the morning of January 14, 1999, the woman co-hosting the JE show with Mr. Girouard knew immediately that something was wrong.
“Gaétan was punctual and never late,” she said. Every morning we met for the production meeting of the show JE en direct. That morning Gaétan had not yet arrived. My blood froze.”
“As soon as I did, I withdrew and called Gaétan and he answered me,” she continues. He tells me the car isn't moving. I tell him to come by taxi but he tells me he will wait. When I closed the phone, it didn't smell good to me. I called him, I called him back, he didn’t answer.”
Then she decides to call Gaétan Girouard's partner, Nathalie Préfontaine.
“She told me it didn’t smell good,” she says. And then there was a commotion, I went to the bosses and said, you are going to Gaétan.”
Ultimately, she was the one who informed her colleague's partner of his death.
In the years since that day, Ms. Cazin says she struggled to get over it and wished there had been more conversations about her co-host's mental health.
“I felt guilty,” she says. It took me a few years to get over it. And the message I want to convey is that unfortunately there is no one who hasn’t spoken.”
“Everyone, it’s easy to say, we all said that after Gaétan’s death,” she adds. But if I had spoken to Nathalie, if I had spoken to Gilles Dion, if I had spoken to my work colleagues, maybe it wouldn’t have happened.”
She also wished her doctor had alerted those around her.
“I would like to say something else and here I will perhaps hold someone responsible, it is the doctor who met Gaétan Girouard some time ago and who knew that Gaétan was depressed […] and who hasn't spoken to his wife, she argues. I understand that it is a professional secret, but that should change. That makes no sense.”
Watch the full clip in the video above
The documentary “Gaétan Girouard: Shockwave” can be viewed on TVA+.