The death of Julián Figueroa on April 9th completely changed the lives of his loved ones, especially his mother Maribel Guardia and his wife Imelda Tuñón, who found in little José Julián a great engine to start things off.
Exclusive Imelda, Julián’s widow, tells us how she coped with the singer’s death, and she tells us in confidence how she told her six-year-old son that his father had died.
We saw you at a public presentation a few days ago. How are you doing? I’m resuming my activities precisely because I don’t want to upset my son, I’m doing it for José Julián so that he doesn’t see that I’m down or that I’ve left myself because I don’t want his life to change because of it What happened; He’s aware his father died and he’s obviously sad, but I don’t want to upset him because if he sees me badly, he’s going to feel bad, so I’m trying to take it all back. It’s not easy at all because what happened was very hard, but I don’t want to make it any harder for my son.
How did your little one handle the situation? He’s turned six and at that age you understand everything, besides he’s a very intelligent boy and I left the letter open so he can ask me what he doesn’t understand; I literally said to him: “My dear, if you don’t understand what happens, if you need me to explain what death is and what happens, ask me”, and when he asked me, I answer him in ways he can understand.
How did you tell him his father died? That day, José Julián was in my room watching a movie while I paced to see how he was; When you call 911 they send the police first and then the paramedics which I find awful and I was downstairs crying and crying with the cops and then I went upstairs to see him I had to wipe my face and look normal him. He was there for five minutes and then went back down to continue the process. This went on for a long time until I published a story on YouTube and put him to sleep. The next day, a family friend, Luis Moya, took him home from the morning to play with his daughters and brought him back until the evening. So the first day of Julián’s funeral my son wasn’t there and that was the best thing because that’s when people get most excited and the night he came back I couldn’t pretend like nothing was happening , I locked myself in with him. I went to my room and said to him “I have something to tell you and you have to be quiet…your father died” and he started crying, I hugged him and explained it even though his body didn’t say it anymore wanted Be with us, it watched from the sky …
How did you see it afterwards? Yes, there was a moment two days later when he told me his father had left him and I had to explain that wasn’t the case; What happens is that for a child when someone dies it’s like abandonment and I had to explain to him that his father would never leave him and that he wanted to be with him all his life that a heart attack an accident was that nature continued on her way, but I made it very clear to him that his father would not abandon him.
How are you now? Lately he’s been very protective of me and he said to me, “Mom, take care, because all I have left is you.” I feel very ugly to have to go through something like this; I know there is no age for something like this, but being so small it is strong, although my child has been very brave and we as a family have been great at handling it. My aunt (Maribel Guardia) doesn’t cry in front of him either, never, neither does Marco, he even had a small health problem with the pressure because he suppressed a lot, because he was the one who managed everything here, because that’s where it has to be always be someone who doesn’t break down and helps others stay on their feet and in this case it was him.
How are you doing? How did you master this duel? It was strong because I was very used to being with him and suddenly I see memes and things like that and I think about passing them on to Julián because we always shared things like that, but I remember that he not there. .. And then when I think about a movie I want to see him in and he’s gone, those are the moments when he’s very strong, when I want to spend time with him and he’s gone. I feel a great emptiness and there are times when I feel much alone; I’m already a lonely woman, but now I constantly feel like I’m missing out.
Did you seek help from a specialist? Yes, we visited a thanatologist that was recommended to my Aunt Maribel by a friend and she helped us a bit with the process, but it’s very difficult to get out of something like this overnight.
Are you treating the bipolar issue you are suffering from? Yes, but at the moment I’m very stable; The truth is that I have a psychiatrist who is very good, mostly because she doesn’t stuff me with unnecessary drugs or anesthetize me or anything like that, but tries to take the process step by step. Thank god I’ve never had a manic attack because that’s when you explode, but I’m fine with it and I have that aspect under control. I don’t like Julián that much, I miss him a lot, he left a hole in our hearts here at home, but what comforts me a little is that we have him here with us, in the living room, which is a place that he enjoyed very much and we can greet him every day. I think as long as we live we will have it here.
How do you see Maribel? The couple’s pain is hard, but it cannot be compared to a mother’s pain; What is happening to him is very strong. I think the work sometimes helps him to relax a bit in that regard so he doesn’t feel so bad, but losing a child is very powerful. I can’t imagine being in her position, it scares me even to think about it, I feel like she’s suffering a lot. Sometimes she breaks a little but she is a very strong woman and she carried on… The truth is there are no words to describe the loss of a child.
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