A victim of bullying in primary school, Philippe-Audrey Larrue-St-Jacques still carries with him the painful memory of his only childhood friend, who attempted suicide at the age of 11. In the latest episode of the podcast, comedian Marie-Claude Barrette opened up Open your game.
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The one who describes himself as “deeply concerned” spoke at length with Marie-Claude Barrette in an interview about several important issues. These include bullying and the great loss the 36-year-old comedian suffered in his childhood.
Fear and bullying
“In fifth grade, my only friend—who had an absentee father, was English, and spoke with an accent that others made fun of—went into the woods one afternoon. At the age of 11, he attempted suicide. It created an emptiness and a fear that never left me,” he says.
Already a shy child, the comedian and actor stopped trusting adults who at the time minimized bullying between young people. He also says that even at age 36, he is still afraid of people in positions of authority.
“It happens easily and violently. You are singled out, the way you speak is ridiculed, there is never anyone to help you, you are never chosen and there is a lot of loneliness. I banned myself from going to parks and ice rinks for fear of meeting young people from school there,” says the former budding genius, who owes his desire to learn to his parents, who were CEGEP teachers.
PHOTO AGENCY QMI, TOMA ICZKOVITS
Fear of others
This “daily degradation of your self-confidence” made him a being who lived in constant fear of meeting others.
“In the long run, you convince yourself that you are what people say about you. It leaves a scar. Today, when I publish something on social networks, it has the same feeling as in the schoolyard,” admits the man who has been giving advice every week for four years.
“My psychologist has a lifelong contract with me,” he adds with his typical humor. His “relatively acute” OCD, his fears, his obsessions and his giftedness diagnosis are all topics he discussed with the presenter, who says she fell in love when she saw him perform.
“Your fear and discomfort are stronger. You create scenarios that are always negative and adapt to them,” he says about his anxiety disorders and his difference.
The actor reflected on his years at the conservatory, which he describes as “a great darkness” in which performance anxiety mixed with a toxic love affair, and his difficult 2018, in which several stressors caused him to completely isolate himself.
As for the preconceived notions that many people have about giftedness – a topic he addresses on his show – he insists: “You are not Einstein!” » Philippe-Audrey Larrue-St-Jacques says he is touched that Many people, often parents of gifted young people, take the time to come and talk to him after his performances to tell him about their experiences. “For me, humor was a shield,” he admits.