Nicole Kidman reveals she had 39issues39 after divorcing Tom Cruise

Nicole Kidman reveals she had 'issues' after divorcing Tom Cruise, recalls bittersweet 2003 Oscar win: 'I went to bed alone'

Nicole Kidman recalled the bittersweet moment she won her Oscar in 2003 following her divorce from Tom Cruise.

The 56-year-old Australian actress won her first Oscar for playing Virginia Woolf in The Hours, shortly after divorcing the Top Gun actor, 61, after 11 years of marriage.

“I was struggling with things in my personal life, but my professional life was going so well,” she told author Dave Karger in his new book “50 Oscar Nights,” according to People, adding, “It happens, right?”

“I went home, ordered takeout and ate it on the floor of the Beverly Hills Hotel.” I sat on the hotel floor with my family, ate French fries and a burger and went to bed. Then it hit me. I went, I must find my love; I need a love in my life. Because that's how it should be when you say: “This is ours.”

“I went to bed alone; I was in bed before midnight. “If I ever win again, I tell you, I would be out for 24 hours,” she explained.

Nicole Kidman, 56, recalled the bittersweet moment she won her Oscar in 2003 following her divorce from Tom Cruise, 61;  Kidman with her Oscar at the 75th Academy Awards in 2003

Nicole Kidman, 56, recalled the bittersweet moment she won her Oscar in 2003 following her divorce from Tom Cruise, 61; Kidman with her Oscar at the 75th Academy Awards in 2003

“I went to bed alone;  I was in bed before midnight.  “If I ever win again, I tell you, I would be out for 24 hours,” she told Dave Karger in his new book 50 Oscar Nights;  Seen with Tom in 1998

“I went to bed alone; I was in bed before midnight. “If I ever win again, I tell you, I would be out for 24 hours,” she told Dave Karger in his new book 50 Oscar Nights; Seen with Tom in 1998

While accepting her big win, she briefly broke down and told the crowd, “Russell Crowe said don't cry when you're up there, and now I'm crying.” She was later outplayed before she could finish her speech.

Then she wanted to go home.

“I'm not a big party girl, so I wanted to skip the Vanity Fair party and everyone said, 'You have to go.' “You have to walk through the party with your Oscar.”” she shared.

“I said, ‘This just feels like schadenfreude, and it doesn’t feel humble.’ Like, what? You can't get away with the award! This feels really inappropriate. They say, “This is what you do.”'

However, she ended up attending the glittering party along with her Oscar.

“I literally went in, carried it around, was completely overwhelmed, emotional, shaking and didn't enjoy it. “I almost apologized, which is so stupid. I wish I could have enjoyed it more.'

Nicole's big Oscar win came on the heels of her high-profile divorce from Cruise.

The couple married in 1990 before splitting unexpectedly in 2001, which came as a surprise to fans.

While accepting her victory, she briefly broke down and told the crowd,

While accepting her victory, she briefly broke down and told the crowd, “Russell Crowe said don't cry when you get up there, and now I'm crying.”

1704768140 491 Nicole Kidman reveals she had 39issues39 after divorcing Tom Cruise

“I was struggling with things in my personal life, but my professional life was going so well. 'That's what's happening, right?' She shared in the book

As she went to bed that night, the star said she dreamed of finding love again.  “That's when it hit me... I need to find my love;  I need a love in my life.  Because that's how it should be when you say:

As she went to bed that night, the star said she dreamed of finding love again. “That's when it hit me… I need to find my love; I need a love in my life. Because that’s what it’s supposed to be like when you say, “This is ours,” she shared; seen at the Vanity Fair afterparty

The Australian actress won her first Oscar for playing Virginia Woolf in The Hours (pictured), shortly after divorcing the actor after 11 years of marriage

The Australian actress won her first Oscar for playing Virginia Woolf in The Hours (pictured), shortly after divorcing the actor after 11 years of marriage

Nicole and Tom married in 1990 and divorced in 2001.  They have two adopted children together: daughter Isabella, 31, and son Connor, 28;  The former couple were seen in 1999

Nicole and Tom married in 1990 and divorced in 2001. They have two adopted children together: daughter Isabella, 31, and son Connor, 28; The former couple were seen in 1999

Kidman is mother to daughter Isabella (31) and son Connor (28) with Cruise.

Connor was adopted by Kidman and the action star shortly after his birth in 1995, but the exact time frame remains unclear.

Three years earlier, in 1992, Sister Isabella was adopted by the couple.

After returning home from her Oscar win, Kidman fell asleep and dreamed of one day finding love again.

Two years later she started dating country pop singer Keith Urban (56).

The couple married in 2006 and have daughters Sunday Rose (14) and Faith Margaret (12).

Last year the couple celebrated their 17th wedding anniversary.

In July, she revealed the unique relationship rule that helps her maintain her romance with Urban – they only communicate on the phone via calls.

Two years after her victory, she began dating country pop singer Keith Urban (56).  The couple married in 2006 and have daughters Sunday Rose (14) and Faith Margaret (12).

Two years after her victory, she began dating country pop singer Keith Urban (56). The couple married in 2006 and have daughters Sunday Rose (14) and Faith Margaret (12).

“We never text each other, can you believe that?” We started like that – I was like, 'If you want to reach me, call me,'” she told the Something To Talk About podcast on Sunday.

“I wasn’t really a lyricist. I think he tried to text me a few times but I never texted back. Then I thought, “That’s pretty nice.”

“If you really want to reach me, you have to call me.” Everyone else we text with. That's exactly the one thing we don't do.'

Although Kidman has yet to win another Oscar, she won the Golden Globe for Best Actress in 2022 for her role in Being the Ricardos.