Giulia Stabile, a fish out of water as hostess: Rating 4
She was the first dancer to win the Amici Prize two years ago. He is now twenty-one and looking for a writer for his career. Giulia Stabile, who hosts Tu Sì Que Vales, is the equivalent of an Instagram story filtered by Amaro. Only more fleeting. You don’t judge a fish by its ability to climb mountains, that’s true. However, this particular fish was featured on a Saturday night show, as well as on the flagship Biscione network. And that’s why it’s both possible and necessary to summarize his lackluster performance. Other than social content, she was trusted with little to nothing during the broadcast: just a few launches (which she stumbled across on time). The portrait of the girl next door was entirely in the spirit of a banal cliché, which, in the very rare cases in which it was spoken, made the already dramatic situation even worse. For example, she expressed fear at the thought of saying “bad words or adult things.” Adult and vaccinated, she looks more like Pollon than a real person. Great dancing talent, may he continue dancing. There are those who study and work hard and dream of hosting even a village festival one day. Saturday evening on Canale 5, entrusted to a girl who “does not see, does not hear, does not speak” is pure heresy.
Maria De Filippi is very mischievous, we have never seen her laugh like that: rating 7.5
Always dutiful and strict, but also unwavering and coherent. Maria De Filippi hosts her shows like a cyborg giving wise advice. From “You’ve Got Mail” to “Men and Women” to “Amici,” it’s very rare for her to lose her temper (although it does happen sometimes). A certain detachment is the means by which he gets the audience to empathize with the stories he tells, be they love affairs or pop ‘n’ roll dreams. If it is true that she smiles at Amici every now and then, we never see her as relaxed as in Tu Sì Que Vales. And witnessing this phenomenon is quite disturbing. Extremely spiteful towards the designated victim Sabrina Ferilli, “Bloody Mary” puts on her unbiased Iron Lady frown and has fun on the jury of the successful Saturday evening talent show. A loose cannon, even more irreverent and unpredictable than Luciana Littizzetto. Who would have thought? Advertised, not without surprise.
Luciana Littizzetto does her homework (but doesn’t have fun): Grade 6-
If Tu Sì Que Vales had a mantra to sum up the show, it would be something like: “It doesn’t have to make sense, it just happens.” The freaks parading between the contestants, the more aggressive sound effects of the stadium vuvuzela chants , the spectacular teasing of Sabrina Ferilli, “guilty” of the simple fact that she is there. The talent is a gigantic caravan from which it seems impossible to get out. The juror Luciana Littizzetto gives the impression of wanting to do this with every weak applause. Encouraged only by the arrival of good-looking and/or muscular competitors (who are always “worthwhile” to her), the rest of the time she doesn’t spend on the field, she sits in her chair, waiting for the carousel to make its evil race finish. She is not the same “Lucianina” we see in Che Tempo Che Fa. Perhaps the comedian needs more serious spaces to emerge with her own explosive spontaneity. In the middle of the chaos he finally gets lost. And apparently getting impatient too.
Sabrina Ferilli is the heart of the party (despite the “Flambè B-side”): rating 8
Every episode a Stations of the Cross. Sabrina Ferilli is suffering on the jury of Tu Sì Que Vales. And for some reason he does it with great pleasure. First and foremost, her “tormentors” include the terrible Maria De Filippi, deus ex machina of pranks and mischief, who suddenly hits the actress and leaves her with no escape. Fake competitors transforming into the Riddler from Saw by subjecting her to impossible puzzles, Mephistophelian punishments for when we don’t get the answer right, wild water balloons. Not only that, the designated victim, she also saw her duty chair burst into flames, intentionally overheated to annoy her. “My ass is flambéed!” she shouted and ran straight towards I Nuovi Mostri di Striscia la NOTEIA. How he can keep from getting angry, especially in front of the very annoying puppet troublemaker Giovannino, is a deep mystery. What is certain, however, is that she comes forward every year to allow herself to be abused on Saturday evenings on Canale 5. Luckily, she doesn’t lack self-irony. And so, with all due respect to her own “executioners,” she is the one who holds up the whole show thanks to hilarious and truthful reactions. However, it is not known who makes him do this.
Gerry Scotti is bored (and crying for reasons he can’t name): Rating 5.5
The rejection of Gerry Scotti should be unconstitutional. But at Tu Sì Que Vales we always seem to show more craftsmanship than enthusiasm. As a juror with a mandate for trash, he gathers the craziest and most unlikely competitors and grants them asylum in his “stable.” Despite the large sum, he stood out in two special moments in this eighth edition. The first was when, faced with another acrobatic dance performance, he stated that he “often gets bored” with this type of acrobatic performance. And here we can only congratulate him on his proven intellectual honesty. The second was the sudden crying during the semi-final: the judge burst into tears when a participant dressed as a waiter tried to dance to “ItaloDisco” by Kolors. Certainly not a memorable or emotionally compelling performance. However, Uncle Gerry gave up his cheerfulness for personal reasons and clarified: “I can’t say why I felt like crying.” As already written, the motto always dominates at Tu Sì Que Vales: “It doesn’t have to make sense, it happens easy.” If we had the choice, we would prefer to see him carefree and laughing, at least on TV. For example, the peak of the issue’s power is the theatrical improvisational sketch in which a group of unfortunate competitors forced him to dress up as an elderly lady (“mamma”, by the way, by Ferilli, De Filippi and Littizzetto). The only time he looked like he was actually having fun? Yes, unfortunately.
Rudy Zerbi, the survivor who wants to “shoot everyone”: Rating 8+
V for Vendetta. RZ for Rudy Zerbi. Even the competitors sometimes treat him badly: a group of improvisers cuts him out of the group that includes all the other judges for no reason. A few episodes later we saw him flying, hanging from a motorcycle that was racing along a rope stretched into the sky. Not to mention, he ended up in Luna Park’s “hellish carousel” that was set up in front of the talent studio for no good reason. Zerbi is constantly affected by the barbs of his colleague Gerry Scotti and does not recognize himself in the role of an easy target, a stress reliever, a voodoo doll, unlike the show. And therefore defend yourself. For example, he showed blind rage on the roller coaster when he wanted to “shoot everyone” while Littizzetto collapsed on his shoulder and gave up the fight (he suffers from dizziness). The friends’ professor, on the other hand, does not suffer at all and returns fire, both friend and foe. From this eighth edition, the kiss on the mouth exchanged with Gerry Scotti remains, complete with a sexy parade through the studio before the outpouring. Due to a professional deformity that makes him very sensitive to gold suppositories (but especially to “lead ones”), the role of victim doesn’t actually suit him. And so here, with all due respect for contingencies, he turns into a beast. Indestructible attitude, undoubtedly forged in the fire of thousands of conversations with Anna Pettinelli in the chair of Amici. Rodolfo, the survivor.
“Giovannino, the Troublemaker” is definitely a mystery (never funny): Rating 3
Only Maria De Filippi seems to find it downright hilarious. Giovannino has been a regular troublemaker on the show for years, responsible for annoying the unfortunate Sabrina Ferilli. The cabaret artist Giovanni Iovino, the registered name of the man under the costume, does everything he can to annoy himself. And he does it perfectly. The theft of the actress’s pashmina, which was obviously committed by us, dominated the entire issue. Without a reason. Visually, he is the result of a cross between Gabibbo, the Riddler from the Saw film saga, and Pollock, but certainly not a Saturday Night Fever character. It is more like a hallucination that can actually occur when the thermometer dangerously exceeds 40°. And yet it is all inexplicably true. You never laugh, you get angry too often. As pleasant as a sudden call from the accountant.
Amedeo Abbate, finally a comedian to remember: Rating 8/9
One of the best participants in this edition is the comedian Amedeo Abbate. Insensitive to copying and pasting, he delivered very courageous monologues on stage that consisted more of pauses than words. Contrary to the trend of the stereotype of the “talented comedian” who spews out a whirlwind of words in the hope of getting at least one joke, Abbate, who in life teaches at an elementary school, takes his time and drops Maria De Filippi in love, as well Luciana Littizzetto. The public is now divided: there are those who claim to have been fans from the first second and those who, however, consider it an excellent alternative to melatonin. In a pitched battle with the average viewer’s attention span, the shy, checkered-shirted Amedeo manages to stay in mind, whether to praise him or make fun of him. He wouldn’t be the first to start a big career on the stage of a talent show (before him, to name just two, the “Jackal” Aurora Leone and the “Gialappo” Toni Bonji). Perhaps…
Gigi D’Alessio’s Lookalikes and Other Misadventures Emerged from TikTok: Rating 3.5
Every time “the internet goes crazy,” the average viewer knows they will start shaking in fear, especially during “Tu Sì Que Vales.” Among the many war remnants found on TikTok, Ivan, a self-proclaimed lookalike of Gigi D’Alessio, “stood out” in this issue. Or, more than that, let’s take it on behalf of the entire unfortunate brood. He goes on stage and, for one thing, can’t remember the names of his four children. At least not all of them. They bring out two and a half. He has the right accent of the famous Neapolitan singer, but “I’m strong on TikTok, everyone says I look a lot like him.” In fact, ours is very popular. And this without any plausible explanation, considering that even when tested on the Tu Sì Que Vales stage it is unable to suggest even the hint of a dignified rendition. To paraphrase the poet: How many horrors arise in this way. For the next edition, we humbly propose a moratorium on look-alikes and lip-sync massacres that border on vilification. There are already enough Cciara, have mercy!
Tonikaku, it’s a shame not to “see” his underwear again in the final: rating 8.5
He may be crazy, but he’s definitely different than her. Japanese comedian Tonikaku represents the right amount of “locura” (insanity, editor’s note) that spices up the talent without making it ugly or annoying. Explaining his performance is not entirely easy, but here we are up for the task: we stage various poses (we see him like James Bond, footballer, volleyball player, etc.) and appear completely naked at the moment of the elusive shot. But that’s not it. “Don’t worry, I’m wearing underwear!” he screams with each plastic mutation and the result is, for some reason, hilarious. Perhaps the first example of a comedian-acrobat, he defies labels, he doesn’t speak a word of Italian, but he performs every night, he says. We just have to find out where. Obviously misunderstood, it’s a shame not to see his underwear again in the finale. Out like a pair of underwear left on the balcony drying rack, irresistible for reasons perhaps not even the resurrected Freud could explain. Phenomenon.