Four-year-old Lyla is the youngest person to ever try the $295 9-course tasting menu at world-renowned restaurant The French Laundry — and her verdict is clear.
Lyla spent over five hours at chef Thomas Keller’s triple Michelin-starred restaurant in California’s Napa Valley; where she was served everything from caviar and butter-poached lobster to chicken egg custard and truffled gnocchi, Bold Italic took notes on her opinion.
The summery melon soup was particularly appreciated because it tasted like “Tinker Bell popsicles,” but the edible flowers were a mystery to Lyla, and when she reviewed the Jardinière de légumes she volunteered, “At least it’s a salad, but it’s not.” a lot of lettuce.’
Where’s the rest? Four-year-old Lyla surveyed the nine-course tasting menu at The French Laundry, a three-Michelin-star California restaurant widely considered “the best restaurant in the world.”
The French Laundry has been hailed by celebrity chef and food critic Anthony Bourdain as “the best restaurant in the world, period” – and, crucially for Lyla, has “the most elegant bathroom I’ve ever seen”.
Established in 1978, it serves two different nine-course tasting menus daily. None of these uses the same ingredient twice. Fixed price is $295 excluding tip, and wine pairing is an additional $250; although in this case it was ginger ale served in a champagne flute that Lyla “obsessed” with.
“Is that a flower? Meal? Eww. I’ll keep this. I’ll give him some water’
Lyla’s first dish — an amuse-bouche consisting of “avocado and lime crème fraîche wrapped in a sesame seed nozzle” — looked deceptively like an ice cream cone; which happens to be Lyla’s favorite food (as long as it’s a ‘HARD bag’).
“I like the white part better than the green one,” she mused after recovering from the crippling disappointment of the ice cream’s non-appearance.
Mixed feelings: The soup was highly regarded because it tasted like “Tinker Bell Popsicles,” but Lyla was disappointed when an amuse-bouche that looked like ice cream turned out to be an avocado wrap
After the summer melon soup – which was green, hence perhaps the Tinkerbell reference – Lyla was served two fish dishes; the restaurant’s notoriously decadent “oyster and pearl” caviar platter; and the “citrus-cured Pacific yellowtail.”
Lyla adamantly refused to try either one because they “really didn’t look good.”
“It looks like the house where bees live. And I HATE bees!”
Next came the ‘chicken egg cream’, served in an eggshell with the lid cut off and filled with a ‘ragoût of Périgord truffles’. Deeply suspicious of the egg’s authenticity, Lyla theorized that it’s simply impossible to take off the top of a real shell without breaking it.
After forgiving the chef for his brazen lie, she loved this course, concluding that the chicken tasted like a “fluffy marshmallow” and the feather tasted like a “potato chip.” It should be noted that neither chicken nor feather was present in this meal.
Established in 1978, Swanky: French Laundry serves two different nine-course tasting menus daily. None of these uses the same ingredient twice
What are you misleading me about? Lyla was very suspicious of the authenticity of this egg and suspected that it is simply impossible to lift off the top of a real shell without breaking it
The meaty charcuterie that followed was eschewed in favor of the accompanying bread, which she devoured with great relish before demanding seconds.
As for the pretentious little lettuce, Lyla insisted the peppers “taste like babies” and that the edible flower was downright insane. “Is that a flower? Meal? Eww. i keep this
“I’ll give him some water,” she said with some concern, before chopping him into pieces on the tablecloth instead.
Excellent taste: Lyla was ‘obsessed’ with ginger ale (pictured) and she also loved the shaved truffles, which she affectionately called ‘black diamonds’. Her only suggestion to the chef was that they would be better if they were pink
Interestingly, the next course consisted of more bread; Served with “molded butter” this time. Lyla was outraged. “It looks like the house where bees live. And I HATE bees!” she exclaimed.
There was another argument regarding the following dish, “butter-poached Maine lobster with missionary black fig jam,” which Lyla claimed was actually shrimp.
The grated truffles on the “Red Potato Gnocchi” were a treat for the four-year-old critic with a surprisingly refined taste that’s often compared to “black diamonds.” Her only suggestion to the chef was that they would be even better if they were pink.
Impressive Chocolate Notes: The bounty of desserts was well received by Lyla and provided a sugary end to a roller coaster ride of culinary firsts for the adorable tot
Spoiled for life: When Lyla’s mom suggested they go out for some good old-fashioned pizza next time, she demanded they return to The French Laundry instead
The “Herb-Roasted Elysian Fields Farm Lamb” was branded “not delicious” and the subsequent “Cabot Clothbound Cheddar”, although it claimed to be served with “garden broccoli”, was accused by Lyla of being another dishonesty.
“I don’t see any broccoli. It’s just a square with other things!’ she announced.
“I don’t see any broccoli. It’s just a square with other things!’
The rich selection of desserts went down very well with Lyla; a sugar-sweet end to a roller-coaster ride of culinary firsts for the adorable tot.
However, your mother might have a little problem with her hands now. When she suggested Lyla have a good old-fashioned pizza next time, she was met with an outcry.
Lyla demanded that they return to The French Laundry, her new favorite eatery, instead; along with the rest of the world it seems.