One of the tricks is to adopt a posture that inspires confidence and power. (Photo: media striker for Unsplash)
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Q. – “I’m an experienced salesperson, but I have to admit that when I’m negotiating with a customer, I often feel like I’m not getting the best of what I can get. Maybe because I’m still very stressed. Are there little-known tricks to becoming a negotiating champion?” – Ludovick
A. – Dear Ludovick, I encourage you to read the book by Mike Wheeler, Professor of Management at Harvard Business School (HBS), entitled The Art of Negotiation: How to Improvise Agreements in a Chaotic World. Because he presents unusual tricks, not to say counterintuitive, that enable a successful negotiation. And that against the background that the goal of a negotiation is never to see a winner and a loser, but two winners!
Here are seven winning tactics from his book.
1. Turn your stress into excitement
Let’s start with the stress that grips you when trading. It’s normal for your blood pressure to rise, but you need to keep a cool head.
How? The author talks about an experiment conducted by a colleague at HBS, Alison Wood-Brooks. The latter asked volunteers to do something stressful, singing Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin'” to a group of strangers. Those who mentally repeated the mantra “I’m excited” (at the request of the experimenters) just before entering the stage performed significantly better than those who had to say “I’m nervous” to themselves; They felt better and sang better.
In other words, the idea isn’t to do karaoke before negotiations, but to “bubble the stress with a bubble of excitement.” For example, by repeating a small magic sentence shortly beforehand, which gives you positive energy.
2. First define your goal
Preparing for the negotiation is essential to its success. Therefore, it is important to establish your primary goal, that is, the goal that you absolutely must achieve in order to feel satisfied.
Once that’s done, Mr. Wheeler recommends setting another goal that’s ambitious. This serves as a starting point.
Finally, it can be a good idea to set a minimum goal as well. If the conversation ever shows that you can’t reach it, that’s a sign to you that you’d better get out of the negotiation as soon as possible without wasting any more of your time.
Note, Ludovick, that this tactic should help you shed the recurring feeling that “you didn’t get the best of what you could have gotten”.
3. Keep an open mind
Above all, good negotiation means being flexible. It means listening to what the other has to say and really considering it. Without losing sight of your own goals, of course.
“Adaptability is essential in negotiations from start to finish,” notes the author. Because opportunities will appear as well as unforeseen obstacles. The benefit will flow from side to side like an ebb and flow. And it may even cause you to revise your goals in light of new information gleaned during the conversation.
That is why openness is essential. Otherwise, you will find it impossible to “make the best of whatever happens”.
4. Assume correct posture
trust and power. Your body language should convey that.
If you’re negotiating seated at a table, it can be good to have your head tilted a little and your hands clasped while you look directly at your interlocutor. Because it sends a message: “I’m listening, I’m comfortable, I’m receptive”. On the other hand, it is better to avoid touching your throat or nose: it gives the impression that you are uncomfortable, even insecure.
5. Appreciate the stillness
Don’t feel compelled to speak to fill the “emptiness” created by a moment of silence. On the contrary, prolong the moments of silence as much as possible, especially when it comes to the stakes. For what? Because it will destabilize your interlocutor, sometimes even to the point where they end up feeling the need to fill the silence themselves. Which will make him say things he didn’t want to say. Yes, things that could well prove to your advantage.
6. Take a break
Suppose things don’t turn out quite as you had hoped. Well, a good trick is to take a break. Take a deep breath, stretch, look away. And say a phrase that shows you’re about to engage in a long reflection, like, “Hmm… That deserves a moment to think about it.” And stretch this moment out for as long as possible.
It is clear that this will disarm your interlocutor. It can even make him reconsider his position on the fly, after thinking maybe he’s gone too far.
7. Put your cards on the table
We often mistakenly believe that good negotiations require a secret asset and that you shouldn’t give away your game.” The HBS professor takes the opposite view of this common idea: “Show what you really want , Playing cards on the table, he recommends. That will create trust and take the discussion a big step forward.”
And to add: “Playing cards on the table can often have the effect of enlarging the pie to be shared, thereby leading to a mutually beneficial transaction,” he said. In short, we give ourselves the opportunity to find a win-win solution together!
There you go, Ludovic. These seven tactics should make you feel better about entering a negotiation, and therefore not come out frustrated.
Incidentally, as Cardinal de Retz said in his memoirs, “Being too much of a negotiator is not always the best negotiating quality.”