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Tonight’s Saturday Night Live Cold Open focused on C-SPAN’s coverage of former President Trump’s visit to the people of East Palestine, Ohio, following a train derailment that released toxic waste around the city.
James Austin Johnson’s Trump, flanked by real firefighters from East Palestine, announced: “You know, this morning a farmer came up to me – big guy – and he said, ‘Sir, we have nothing to eat because our dirt is poisoned. ‘ and I said, ‘Well, what are you eating that dirt?’ Don’t eat the dirt, folks! Don’t eat the dirt. You should eat that cold McDonald’s I brought you.”
Yes, Trump has been in East Palestine for the past week, distributing Trump water to the people and trying his best to turn the national tragedy into political advantage.
“And the bottled water – Trump Ice! I’ll be honest: I just put my sticker on some Dasani. We like to say ‘Dasani!’” Trump exclaimed from SNL.
Trump also recently ranted about Rihanna’s Super Bowl halftime performance on his struggling social network, Truth Social, because Trump has never found a black artist he wouldn’t be happy to slander.
“EPIC FAIL: Rihanna gave, without question, the worst halftime show in Super Bowl history – after insulting well over half of our nation, already in serious decline, with her foul and abusive language. Also, so much for her ‘stylist!’” he wrote.
SNL’s Trump then chimed in during his speech in East Palestine, saying, “Rihanna. By the way, you know she was pregnant at the Super Bowl, can you believe that?” he asked. “I said of course she does, she doesn’t move at all. It was only arms, right? She only worked with guns the whole time.”
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The former reality show host’s anger soon shifted to Pete Buttigieg, Biden’s Secretary of Transportation.
“But your train blew up, and who can we blame? Who do we blame? We blame Buttigieg,” SNL’s Trump offered. “Pete Buttigieg. This was his responsibility. Unfortunately, he was too busy being a nerd and being gay… and I gotta tell you, I call him Pete Butt. Believe me, I’ve tried every way I can and it really doesn’t get any better than Pete Butt.”