Every week, La Presse offers you a testimonial that aims to illustrate what really happens behind the bedroom door, in private, far removed from statistics and standards. Today: Bruce*, 79.
Posted at 5:00 p.m
He has been married to the same woman for over 60 years. When he talks about her, his eyes shine and his face smiles. He’s happy and you can tell. His secret? Swing. Here’s why. And above all how.
Bruce is waiting for us with a red scarf around his neck, in a Pacini in Drummondville. Sitting a little apart, the lively seventy-year-old gives himself up enthusiastically. “I like talking about sexuality! He starts with a bright smile. “She is the first woman in my life and it will be the last!” I’m so happy. »
Holy dice roll when you think about it. He still remembers their meeting, completely by accident. Around the age of 16 his mother organizes a party and he has to be accompanied. He doesn’t know a single girl, so he yells at the first pretty tall blonde who comes by. She nods and voila. “Oh, she loved kissing,” he recalls of their very first approach. “I was hooked! They never left.
He’s still laughing at her boldness. Nevertheless. The beginning is a bit bumpy. “We didn’t talk to each other, we didn’t know what to say! But they met, dated for a while, and then got married. Their wedding night at age 21 takes place at a motel in Plattsburgh. “We had never made love, but I knew she liked sex. We masturbated together! ‘ he confided quite naturally. And then ? “It went well! »
Then the kids came along, and Bruce, who had never known other women, “got a taste.” “Yeah, I sleep with other women, fuck, let’s hear it! ‘ he says as evidence. He can’t remember how many (“two or three, six or seven, I’m not sure”), but he sees himself coming home and confiding. “During the discussion, I try to convince her to fuck another man. […] You can ! […] It’s nothing, it won’t change our lives, we’ll move on. I always thought that we must be equal in love as in sex…”
If I allow it, she must allow it. But she didn’t dare… So I had to convince her!
Bruce
Clarification: Yes, he “allowed himself” as he puts it, but it was “normal” every time.
Nevertheless, time flies and one evening Madame goes out with a boss. “She was crazy, super excited, it was happening at the Queen Elizabeth,” he recalls. She told me everything afterwards! »
And ? “And I was so happy! Obviously it was much more exciting when we then fucked together! We wanted more. We wanted to meet. As if we missed something! And it has always been like this! »
She starts again with a different one (“She liked that change!”), and Bruce beams even more. ” At that time [il a 25 ans]”I took care of the kids,” he says. It wasn’t revenge at all, it was liberation! »
And an excitement. “I was happy for her and happy for her,” he continues. And when she came back, I wanted her to tell me everything! I found that very exciting! »
The excitement wanes, and a few years later, Bruce still feels like they’re drifting apart. “We did our things on our side, we were less together,” he laments. So I had to find a solution…”
By chance, our young couple (they’re not in their 30s) stumbled upon a classified ad while on vacation. Not trivial, like: “Evening for couples who would like to get to know couples”. “It would be fun if we answered that! ‘ Madam responds. A reaction that changes her life. Or who will save her couple. “Otherwise I wouldn’t know where we would be,” says Bruce. We hardly spoke anymore. Swings saved our couple. It really is! »
The solution ”
They respond to this announcement, and one Saturday night later, about thirty couples like them gather in a hotel bar to exchange slows. “It was exciting, it’s amazing! The very first time they leave with three couples. Bruce ends up with a girl, his wife with a guy, each in a separate room. “And when I saw her coming out of the bedroom, he remembers, she was beautiful! So beautiful ! »
Those nights will become her Saturday night routine for years to come. “Those were our best moments. With all the excitement that means before, during, after. However, a few details have changed over time: “Just one couple and in the same room. We preferred that. »
Speaking of the excitement afterwards: “In the weekdays, Bruce reveals, when we were making love, we were excited! It’s this whole atmosphere that we loved, it really brought us closer, much, much, much…”
No, he was never afraid that feelings would interfere with their adventures. At all. “Never,” he says. We loved the sex! We liked being with nice couples with whom we had affinities. »
Love is different! Love wants the good of a person!
Bruce
He also repeats it several times: “If she’s happy, I’m happy. »
Over time, Madame discovered that she liked kissing women and Bruce fondling men. “I’ve discovered a little bit of a bisexual side to me, but you know, sexuality isn’t pinpointed, it’s fluid, it’s not exclusive. »
Years pass and our Bruce retires at around 55 years old. At that time, they exchanged swinger bars for nudist camps, in Europe in winter. Their sexual activities slowly slow down, but their complicity doesn’t waver. “Sometimes we fucked naked on the beach. We liked being seen. »
They then migrate to Florida, still in nudist camps (known as “optional” in the United States). Sexually speaking, not much happens there. But they are fine. “It’s hot, we like to be naked and well-behaved!” And we have things in common [avec les autres] : Everyone likes to be naked! »
Finally, and for 10 years, Bruce and his wife are now home. Her sexuality took a new turn. “It was difficult for me to penetrate through my heart…” So?
Without warning, Bruce pulls a pretty purple toy out of a small brown bag and puts it on the table: “I bought this for him! And it’s great! It goes in, it rubs everywhere, I recommend it! »
Our husband hasn’t surprised us yet. He’s spoiled himself too, this time getting two more black toys out of his surprise bag. “It’s a miracle for the prostate! ‘ he beams.
“Wanting the sexual freedom of others is love,” he believes. Then, while we retreat to the little corner for a moment, he scribbles an umpteenth reflection on a small piece of paper, which he hands to us: “Eternal love, it’s possible! ” As it appears…
* Fictitious first names to protect anonymity