Did you notice?
Our system is increasingly using bonuses to encourage workers to… do their job!
That’s how it was with medical specialists.
Bonus if they arrived on time. Bonus if they wore gloves. Bonus if they put on a gown when visiting an isolated patient.
In his bill, one doctor even claimed a $54,000 bonus for monitoring a patient’s oxygen device for a week!
Maybe a bonus if they wash their hands after using the toilet?
The oldest profession in the world
Drawn by the windfall, federal officials have also decided to charge bonuses for every “extra” they have to do.
How peripatetic!
$1,500 per year bonus for public employees who deal with inmates.
$2,000 per year bonus for officers who deal with veterans (to “offset the heavy psychological burden of their duties”).
Bonus of $1,500 per year for officers who speak an Aboriginal language.
$800 per year bonus for bilingual officers.
If I understand correctly, officers who work with inmates get a bonus for working with inmates, right?
Ah…
Isn’t that part of the job, rubbing shoulders with inmates when you work with inmates?
Isn’t it in the job description?
“Post: Working with prisoners. As part of that job, the officer has to work with inmates in a place where there are inmates…”
When is there a bonus for vegetarian waiters who have to serve meat in restaurants?
It’s not easy for her! They are living a trauma, they have to deny their personal beliefs!
Also: Bonus for French teachers who need to teach past participle agreement. It is so complicated!
Pool lifeguards should also get a bonus every time they have to jump in at the deep end! Why should they be paid the same salary as those supervising the rompers?
- Listen to the heated exchange between Marc Brière, National President of the Tax Employees’ Union, and Richard Martineau via QUB radio :
The “Office” premium!
Here, I’ll start with this myself.
I will ask for a bonus every time my column is funny. Because it’s hard to be humorous.
A bonus every time I use the imperfect subjunctive. “The mother of the family asked the family ministry official why he had given a criminal a daycare permit. “I should have known that!” replied the officer…”
And a bonus every time I deliver my text on time.
I regularly cry at night thinking of the poor federal officers.
Introduce…
You have concrete job security!
And a performance-oriented pension plan! This way they always get the same amount even if the stock market crashes!
It’s not terrible, is it?
Going to bed at night knowing you won’t lose your job tomorrow?
It must be terrible!
Here we should pay a bonus to every civil servant who works for the state.
And who bothers going to the office dressed in slouch instead of staying at home in slouch.
