Melanie Lynskey says It was so painful to break up

Melanie Lynskey says ‘It was so painful’ to break up with girlfriend and former co-star Kate Winslet

Melanie Lynskey and Kate Winslet

Melanie Lynskey is open about breaking up with her once-close friend and Heavenly Creatures co-star Kate Winslet.

While speaking with Josh Horowitz on Thursday’s Happy Sad Confused podcast about the nature of the industry and how people “move on” after projects, the Yellowjackets actress explained, “When I lost touch with Kate, it was more heartbreaking than some breakups I’ve had.”

“It was so painful because it was like nothing happened, she just became a giant international movie star and she didn’t have much time,” she added. “I didn’t want to hear from her, you know, and it just happened gradually, and it happens in relationships. People kind of drift apart, but it was so painful for me.”

But before their bond even existed, and before she landed the role of Pauline Parker in the Oscar-nominated film, Lynskey said she already looked up to Winslet for “setting the bar.”

When she first auditioned for the role, the Togetherness actress said director Peter Jackson showed her Winslet’s audition tape and told her, “You must be that good.” She found it helpful, and when she got the part she said: “He must have felt like I did that.”

Although the two haven’t crossed paths often since Heavenly Creatures, aside from the premiere of Lynskey’s 2009 film Away We Go, she said Winslet has always been a “huge inspiration” to her. Lynskey particularly appreciated “how gracefully she dealt with the negative comments about her body image,” something Lynskey faced throughout her career.

“She’s like a very, very confident person, but … she’s very sensitive and the way she was dissected and talked about and I remember just being so angry for her at the time,” she explained . “Just like Kate Winslet is in the world, how Kate Winslet is making films and you can witness that talent. … It’s like an actor that comes along once in a generation, how just to focus on that.”

Both have had successful careers since their 1994 film, but the Intervention actress explained that her and Winslet’s friendship wasn’t the only one that hit her hard. Lynskey said it actually “happened a couple of times.”

“I remember doing a movie with this actor once and when we were done I was like, ‘Oh my god, I’m just so happy that I met you and we have this friendship,’ and she said : ‘Yes I’m not friends with actors. I don’t stay friends with actors.’”

While she used to be “so sensitive” to the loss of relationships in the industry, over time she learned it worked just that way. She added, “I was always so hurt when I lost these great loves that I had and you know it got easier.”

has reached out to Winslet’s team for comment.