The grades for Week 4 of college football are in. Nearly a month into the season, the frauds have been exposed, the contenders are showing championship grit, and the rest of college football can’t seem to escape the stories circulating from the Centennial State. (Again, no shame in it.)
The same applies to last season’s grading: good grades are only given for the spectacular, and failing grades have no chance of being reversed. This also means that social media posts are ignored and emails to the complaint inbox go straight to the trash. (For people who still haven’t gotten the memo: You’re wasting your time writing to me. Your email won’t be read.)
Last week’s high marks went to Oregon State and their creative play on offense, their bad marks went to Colorado State coach Jay Norvell and his out-of-control mouth, and to Iowa, which always ruins the sport with its ineptitude on offense set back another 50 years.
Here’s Week 4’s analysis of how fans, teams, players and coaches fared:
Clemsoning’s return: The heat is on Clemson coach Dabo Swinney
Here’s how Wikipedia defines Clemsoning: “An inexplicably disappointing performance.”
For years, the Tigers were known for coming up short on the biggest stages, long before Deshaun Watson and Trevor Lawrence came along to erase that narrative.
Fast forward to 2023, and Clemsoning has reared its ugly head. Things came full circle against Florida State.
Clemson quarterback Cade Klubnik, leading 24-17 in the fourth quarter and shutting out the Seminoles, was drilled by linebacker Kalen DeLoach, lost the ball, and DeLoach rumbled 56 yards to tie the score.
The Tigers then went for a potential game-winning kick, but former backup kicker Jonathan Weitz, who rejoined the team this week, missed a 29-yard field goal with 1:45 left. The ABC cameras didn’t shy away from showing the von Weitz family’s disappointment over the missed free kick.
With time remaining in regulation time, Clemson and coach Dabo Swinney decided to put their less than stellar time management skills to use. The clock ran out, resulting in overtime.
In the extra frame, Florida State needed all two plays to score, but Clemson’s fourth down attempt failed, ending the implosion.
So Clemson is no longer in the national title game come September, and Swinney’s $11 million annual salary and hatred of the transfer portal must have the Clemson faithful looking for buyout options.
Clemsoning, for the win (not really).
Sign O’ the Times: F
Primetime cancellation: Deion Sanders, Colorado loses big
It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what would happen to the Buffaloes in Eugene. Colorado was inferior, outclassed and outclassed, and there’s no sugarcoating that. Deion Sanders was right in his assessment of his team’s performance.
Oregon coach Dan Lanning had this to say to his team before the game: “The Cinderella story is over, man. They fight for clicks; We fight for victories.”
Then again, this is Oregon, which has 7,000 uniform combinations and shoes that change color depending on body temperature — and doesn’t have a single national championship on its resume. But it accuses Colorado of seeking power?
Glass slippers or not, Oregon didn’t play along that day and put the Buffaloes to sleep early, even attempting a fake punt under their own power, 17 already up by two touchdowns. The Ducks also took a 35-0 lead on fourth down. This is the very definition of not taking a team seriously. Colorado didn’t gain a single yard in the second quarter and only 21 yards in the entire first half.
Sanders was praised in this and other areas for his faith in his team, which rubbed off on the players and his loyal fans. The Buffs won’t stop being who they are, which is refreshing in this day and age. Be careful if Colorado becomes a title factor in the next few years.
But in case you haven’t figured it out by now, the rating system is a function of equal opportunity. I call it like I see it.
It’s just one game, but Colorado quickly figured out that Oregon wasn’t TCU, Nebraska or Colorado State and got dumped Saturday quicker than the first season of “Cop Rock.”
Duck Hunting: Incomplete
Praise for Shenandoah’s Haley Van Voorhis
Shenandoah College, an NAIA school, made history Saturday when Haley Van Voorhis became the first woman to play college football at a position other than kicker.
Van Voorhis, who is listed at 5-foot-6 and runs track for Shenandoah, made her debut in the first quarter of the Hornets’ 48-7 win over Juniata and got into the stat sheet with a quarterback rush.
The school in Winchester, Virginia, with an enrollment of 4,000 students, posted a 1-1 record this season.
“There are definitely people out there who see the story and think, ‘This girl is going to get hurt,'” Van Voorhis told ESPN in 2021. “I hear that a lot. Or: ‘It’s too small, doesn’t weigh enough. not big enough.’ But I’m not the smallest in my team and I’m not the lightest.
Shenandoah safety Haley Van Voorhis made HISTORY as the first female non-kicker to take the field in an NCAA football game 👏
She recorded a QB rush on 3rd down 💪
(above @CFBONFOX) pic.twitter.com/P1Leixladw
– Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) September 24, 2023
Van Voohris, a native of The Plains, Virginia, is a junior majoring in business administration.
Let’s hope more women are inspired to play football.
RESPECT: A++
The worst and best of the rest
Skatebo on ice skates
Ambidextrous Drake Maye:
This week’s tribute to Odell Beckham Jr.:
And another one:
The way it was created:
If it stays real, this will go wrong:
Mascots on Mascot Violence in the Queen City:
Jimbo Fisher, the real 12th man:
Statistics for you
2: Pick-sixes from Kentucky cornerback Maxwell Hairston. Hairston returned interceptions for 29 and 54 yards in the Wildcats’ 45-28 win over Vanderbilt.
7: There were no games this weekend where two ranked teams competed against each other, compared to last week
10: Defensive player on the field at Notre Dame during Ohio State’s last-second winning play
19.6: Percentage of third downs converted by Utah opponents this season
76: Total yards for Iowa in a 31-0 win over Penn State in Happy Valley. The Hawkeyes only had the ball 14:33, completed 33 plays and turned the ball over four times.
146: Oregon Duck mascot push-ups during Saturday’s game against Colorado
$1.6 million: Money paid to UTSA for a trip to Knoxville, Tennessee to play with the Volunteers. UTSA lost 45-14.
The dog of the week
Texas A&M Commerce vs. Old Dominion
Meet Elmo.
Now to the game…
With the Colorado-Oregon game pitting IMG against Bishop Sycamore in the first half, the Pups found another game to be excited about. This takes us to SB Ballard Stadium in Norfolk, Virginia, where the Monarchs played against the Texas A&M-Commerce Lions from the FCS.
That 10-9 contest, won by Old Dominion, produced the lowest point total of the weekend, and the Monarchs somehow snatched victory from the jaws of defeat despite turning the ball over five times and rushing for a total of 15 yards.
The game was very questionable well into the fourth quarter, but the Lions failed to attempt a potential two-point conversion with 28 seconds left.