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According to a survey released in 2020 by health insurer Cigna, three out of five Americans are “alone.”
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In May 2023, the United States Surgeon General released a report on an epidemic that had been quietly spreading across the country for decades.
Vivek Murthy explained that Americans are feeling lonely much more than usual, which poses a threat to their physical and emotional wellbeing and is a major public health problem.
“The impact of social distancing on mortality is similar to that of smoking 15 cigarettes a day,” compared the doctor, whose job is to be the main spokesman for the country’s health problems and also lead a Northern Army medical corps. American.
Several studies support Murthy’s conclusions, although results still vary.
The same document presented by the doctor points out that from 2003 to 2020, the average social isolation of citizens increased from 142 hours per month to 166, an increase of an average of 24 hours.
Those most affected by this trend are young people, whose time with friends has been reduced by 70% over the last two decades.
Insurance company Cigna says in an independent survey released in 2020 that three out of five Americans “are alone.”
The problem doesn’t just affect the USA. Other regions of the world, such as Latin America, are also affected by loneliness. A 2020 survey by consulting firm Ipsos, in which the company randomly selected five Latin American countries and surveyed more than 15,000 people, found that in Brazil, 36% of respondents reported feeling alone. In Peru the rate was 32%.
Following the rankings are Chile (30%), Mexico (25%) and Argentina (25%).
The situation, which can be devastating, is associated with an “increased risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety and premature death,” Murthy said.
Although experts say the Covid19 pandemic has had a huge impact on feelings of loneliness due to social isolation, the phenomenon started much earlier and is linked to the development of technology. This is the view of Sheila Liming, a professor at Champlain College in Vermont, USA.
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Sheila Liming, professor at Champlain College in Vermont.
Liming specializes in cultural studies and, based on his own experiences with loneliness, has written the book “Hanging Out: The Radical Power of Killing Time,” an essay in which he theorizes that one of the causes of this crisis in the United States is the ” “Inability” is “going out to have fun or meeting other people” or hanging out, in English.
Throughout the interview, this attitude is described by the verb “leave”.
The research she has conducted on this topic, coupled with her experience as a teacher for more than 10 years and a career that has required travel and constant contact with dozens of young people, allows Liming to confirm that the topic is much more complex than people believe.
In her opinion, not going out hides an entire support network that risks falling apart and leaving no answers to those who feel the abyss of loneliness.
Check out key excerpts from the interview BBC News Mundo (the BBC’s Spanish news service) conducted with Liming below.
BBC What’s behind the loneliness crisis in the US?
Sheila Liming It is caused by multiple factors and happens on different fronts. One of the problems of this crisis has to do with time.
People do not have enough time to devote to social interaction. On the other hand, they also feel that social interaction itself is a waste of time, which is why they do not prioritize it. Many people feel guilty about not doing anything, spending time with someone, or simply being in the presence of other people.
I think another important factor is the lack of spaces and access to spaces where people can gather, hang out and exist in the presence of other people.
Places where they can be without feeling like there needs to be a specific reason to visit or that they have to spend money to do so.
All of this became very clear during the Covid19 pandemic, but I don’t think it has gone away now.
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Loneliness is linked to an increased risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety and premature death
BBC How do you define this act of “abandonment”?
lime For me, going out means that I dare to do very little in the company of others.
The radical power of the pastime lies in its boldness. This is where the subtitle of my book comes in, because I think it takes a bit of courage and boldness to be able to say, ‘No, I’m going to prioritize this use of my time rather than, for example, working more.’
I think there is a social attitude that despises this kind of behavior.
BBC I heard you talking about how we build our lives on isolation. What influence does the design of transport systems and architecture have on this?
lime Life in the United States was designed to favor conditions of solitude and isolation.
But when I say it was designed that way, I don’t mean we did it on purpose. I think it happened by chance because other value systems were at play.
In the USA, for example, privacy is viewed as a privilege and at the same time something that brings honor and pride.
That’s why we maintain these conditions of privacy to show the world that we are successful and that we can get there. So that everyone knows that our house, our car belongs to us.
When we are separated from our neighbors, we can decide when we interact with each other and set boundaries when we don’t want to.
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Liming says the U.S. is designed to prioritize isolation
All of this is seen as part of the successful American spirit. But this spirit of success ultimately makes us lonelier when we are in crisis and need other people’s help, even if we just want to know about our neighbors instead of avoiding and excluding them.
BBC The concept of privacy seems to be closely linked to the concept of whether or not one is a mature person. If you’re 30 like me, your family will see you differently, whether you live alone or with someone else…
lime We are taught that the only way to take the next step in life, whatever it may be—becoming independent, starting a family, or finding a romantic partner—is to have your own space. As long as you don’t have that, you can’t achieve anything in life.
BBC Would living in shared spaces make us happier?
lime Yes, the potential is there. The problem is that we are so used to this value system that it is very difficult for people to get used to the idea of sharing a space.
BBC How do you think society has changed since we have less time to “go out”?
lime There is a common misconception that as society grows and evolves, we have more free time than in the past. But in reality, there are many researchers who, after analyzing this equation, have found that this is not the case.
The reality could probably be the opposite. We used to have more free time than we do now.
But we don’t always recognize the difference between free time and working time.
Now one disturbs the other much more. Before, you finished your work and went home. You didn’t have an email to check or text messages from your boss or colleagues. There was a more clearly defined space between the workday and leisure time.
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The professor claims that loneliness affects all population groups in the United States
Now this separation is not so clear. On the surface it looks like we have free time, but in reality we spend a lot of time working or completing tasks to prepare for work.
BBC Is there a profile of those experiencing loneliness in the US?
lime I don’t think the problem is specific to any one demographic. I think it’s something common.
There is a lot of talk about loneliness affecting older populations in the United States. It is said that when they no longer have the family with whom they lived, they end up in reception centers where they experience a lot of loneliness. And that’s a big problem for this population.
But I think loneliness is also a problem for younger demographics.
I am a university professor and work with students between the ages of 18 and 24 and this is a big problem for them too. The irony is that college is supposed to be one of the most social times in a person’s life.
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Liming says lack of time is the main reason for the “loneliness epidemic” in the US
I once read something about how human happiness manifests itself at age 26, and that the social activity that leads to it is said to be most vibrant during this time
But the studentage population I work with is just as vulnerable to loneliness, isolation and associated mental health issues as the over65 population.
BBC And what is happening to this younger generation?
lime I think there are two factors: the Covid19 pandemic and also the rise of personalized digital technology.
Both made this generation think that meeting other people online was enough. And that’s not a negative thing, but it’s certainly not enough.
This is a generation whose final years of high school were spent during the Covid19 pandemic. Life was disrupted and they were not experiencing important agerelated milestones, or everything was being experienced online.
When I see them in class, I realize that they have habits that don’t necessarily help them.
One of those habits: When they need help or company, they turn to the Internet for an answer rather than to the person next to them in the classroom, to their roommates, to their friends, or to their parents.
BBC There are those who feel safer interacting with technology. After all, on social media you have complete control and can disappear in an instant…
lime That’s right, it’s a question of control. When you are in a social networkmediated environment, you know the rules and ways in and out. If something gets weird, you know you can find a way out without too much trouble.
If you try to act the same way in person, someone might think you’re being too rude and judge you.
In addition to the lack of control, we fear judgment. Inperson social interactions have different rules than the ones we have on social media, and that can scare us.
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Other countries also have problems with loneliness
BBC How can social media and the internet help us interact?
lime In my book I try not to treat digital technologies as an evil force, because they are not. I think they have done a lot for us or at least have the potential to do a lot for us.
A decade ago, when I was 30, I started my first teaching career and moved to North Dakota, a very rural state. I had never been there before and my contacts were limited to my professional life.
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Cover of the book “Hanging Out: The Radical Power of Killing Time” (Penguin Random House, 2023).
At this point, I started getting into social media as I was spending a lot of time alone. I discovered colleagues working on topics very similar to mine, even from other departments that I wasn’t a part of.
Social networks are a good way to “break the ice” in the office. When I arrived at the new job, it was extremely beneficial for me as I was able to talk to people about what I saw online. It was very useful.
That doesn’t mean you can afford to turn your back on the physical community in which you live.
BBC What have you read in your studies about the problem of loneliness in other countries? Is this a question for Western societies?
lime My perspective is more or less limited to the USA, simply because that’s where I know it best.
But when I travel, I see what’s happening in other countries and get an insight into other cultures. This also happens when I conduct media interviews and speak to nonUS journalists.
Reporters from Germany, Norway and Italy told me that this is a problem that also affects their countries. That’s why I think it has something to do with the cultural structure of the USA and the Western world.
For example, a journalist once mentioned that in Norway 50% of households consist of a single person.
It may be that something that is the norm in the United States is being imposed as desirable in other countries: isolation as some kind of end goal.
BBC In Puerto Rico I have family members who tend to always live close to each other. I have cousins who are neighbors. This is normal in rural areas of the island. This reduces the ability to make friends, especially given our cultural tendency to value family ties over friendships. Would deconstructing our idea of family help us have a better social life?
lime Families can become isolated, for better or worse. They can provide support and protection structures. When they function this way, they are considered a good thing.
But they can also be too isolating and create a kind of enclosure that is difficult to leave. Like the situations you mentioned where you are surrounded by so many family members that it becomes harder to make friends or meet other people.
Additionally, at least here in the US, there is also the expectation that you always have to make your family proud. For this to happen, there is often a tendency to leave the family structure, move and find your own way.
This is ironic, because in order to make your family proud, you have to move further away from them, get out of this structure.
I am an academic and in this country there is a tendency for my profession to constantly change. And what you hear from people when they move are the problems they face being away from their families.
When they invest in a particular profession with the aim of making their family proud and becoming successful people, they end up in a situation that makes it difficult for them to live with their own family.
This is the unfortunate end of our expectations.
BBC When I visit Puerto Rico I always have very little time, even though it is close to Miami where I live. And I feel really bad when I don’t spend time with my family, although I have to accept that sometimes I have more fun with friends. In fact, I find it very difficult to accept such a thought…
lime That is my experience too. I live in Vermont, on the opposite coast from Seattle, where my family lives and I grew up. I go there twice a year.
But when I go, I feel like I have to spend time with my family because I can’t see them all the time, which means I don’t prioritize all the friends who have been very important to me since childhood.
To the point where I can maintain many of these friendships because I don’t make sure they stay in my life.
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Families can be support networks, but they can also be closed spaces that prevent interaction, says the expert
BBC How much time should people spend getting to know other people?
lime I won’t give an exact number here. I’m not going to make rules about coming out so people can judge themselves as good or bad at it.
It’s not something you’re good at or bad at. It’s something you do or don’t do. Take your time to achieve this.
But I believe that it is something that should happen regularly in people’s lives. Some people should do this every day, others once or twice a week. Maybe what works best according to the agenda, because we have to be realistic there too.
If coming out happens regularly, it will no longer be unpleasant. So you don’t have to deal with big expectations about how it should go and how perfect it should be. This is the only way to make “going out” feel like a normal thing and make it easier to do.