John Stamos opened up about the ups and downs of his life and career in his upcoming memoir, If You Would Have Told Me.
The 60-year-old actor made a number of shocking revelations in the new book, which will be released on October 24th. When Stamos first announced his debut memoir last September, he explained that it was prompted by the sudden death of his “Full House” costars -star Bob Saget and the birth of his first child at the age of 12 54 years motivated him to finally tell his story.
“‘If You Have Told Me’ is the book I never wanted to write,” the “General Hospital” alum wrote in a statement at the time. “But after losing Bob, finally becoming a father and wanting to honor all the colorful people who made me who I am today, I thought, if not now, when? “If You Would Have Tell Me” is my story about Hollywood, fame, fortune and f—ups. It’s also about home, heart and healing.
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John Stamos opens up about the ups and downs of his life and career in his new memoir, If You Would Have Told Me. (Steven Ferdman/Getty Images)
He continued: “Honestly, when I was writing this book, I realized that I have about a million stories to tell, and I think you might like at least four hundred of them. It was cathartic and healing and sometimes heartbreaking to get into it and reveal so much.”
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“This book is something between a confession and a challenge to find grace in the smallest moments of our lives. I hope my memoir offers a glimpse into my heart and mind and helps readers find little magical moments that make life worth living. Get it all.” You want and live happily ever after, but have the humility to trust in something bigger than yourself for guidance.
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Saget, who starred alongside Stamos in the hit sitcom “Full House” from 1987 to 1995 and in the series’ Netflix spinoff “Fuller House” from 2016 to 2020, died of blunt head trauma in January 2022 at the age of 65 .
When he announced his memoir, Stamos said he was motivated to write the book after the death of his friend and former “Full House” co-star Bob Saget. (Photo by Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images)
Stamos became a father for the first time at the age of 54 when he and his wife Caitlyn McHugh welcomed son Billy, now five. (Matt Winkelmeyer)
In October 2017, Stamos announced his engagement to model and actress Caitlyn McHugh, 37, after the couple first met in 2016. Stamos and McHugh tied the knot in February 2018 at Little Brown Church in Studio City. The couple shares a five-year-old son named Billy.
“If You Would Have Tell Me” editor Henry Holt describes the memoir as “the story not only of a life in front of the camera, but also of the surreal highs and devastating lows of a misunderstood heartthrob who always remained a stupid child.” Orange County and of his mid-life quest to find sobriety and a family of his own.
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Here’s a look at the biggest bombshells from “If You Would Have Tell Me.”
Sexual abuse in childhood
In his memoir, Stamos claimed he was sexually abused by a babysitter as a child. (Steven Ferdman/Getty Images)
Stamos claimed in an interview with People magazine published before the book’s release that he was a victim of childhood sexual abuse.
According to People, the Daytime Emmy Award-nominated actor claimed in his memoir that he was molested by a babysitter when he was “10 or 11.”
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Stamos said he did not tell anyone about the abuse at the time. “I think I said to myself, ‘Ah, they’re girls, man,'” he remembers.
“It was like playing dead to make them stop. But it wasn’t completely aggressive,” Stamos added. “I don’t know, it wasn’t good.”
During his interview with People, Stamos explained that “I had to write a book” to deal with the alleged abuse.
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“I mean, I knew it was always in the background, and I’m so committed to it [survivors]”, he said. “I felt like I remembered it easily. It’s always been there, but I packed it away like people do, right?”
For the past 20 years, Stamos has served as a celebrity ambassador for ChildHelp, a nonprofit organization dedicated to child abuse prevention and treatment for survivors.
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Stamos told People that memories of his own traumatic childhood experience first surfaced as he was writing an acceptance speech for an award given in recognition of his advocacy for abused children.
“I started writing it and then it really came out,” he recalled. “And then I thought, ‘No, tonight is not about me. It’s about the children. I’ll put it away until the right moment'”
“Otherwise I’m a fake f—,” Stamos added. “It’s like, ‘Come on’.”
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For the past 20 years, Stamos has served as a celebrity ambassador for ChildHelp, a nonprofit organization dedicated to child abuse prevention and treatment for survivors. (Amanda Edwards/WireImage)
The former “ER” star told People that he didn’t want alleged childhood sexual abuse to be the focus of “If You Would Have Tell Me,” but felt he had to include it.
“I didn’t want the headlines to be that, and I didn’t want the book to go beyond that,” Stamos said. “It was a page or something, but I felt like I had to talk about it. It was strange. It was something, I think I was probably 10 or 11.” [when it happened]. I didn’t have to deal with these feelings.
Now that he’s a father himself, Stamos thought about how he would handle the situation if his son Billy was a victim of sexual abuse during his childhood.
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JOHN STAMOS opens up about his struggle with sobriety and the death of his longtime co-star Bob Saget
“I’m telling you, if I find out that someone did this to my son,” Stamos said, “it’s a whole different story.”
Stamos told People that it was important to him to be completely transparent about the high and dark times in his life when writing “If You Have Told Me.”
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“I set out to write a hero story, but while I was working on it I thought, ‘No, I’m going to tell a human story,'” the actor explained. “Because with the hero story, they’re bulls—.”
“And what’s the point of doing this if I’m not 100% forthcoming? But it was hard.”
Divorce from Rebecca Romijn
Stamos revealed in his memoir that he felt “shattered” by his divorce from his ex Rebecca Romijn. (Ron Galella)
Stamos admitted to People that he had a “really hard time” writing about his first marriage to Rebecca Romijn and the pain he experienced after their divorce in “If You Would Have Tell Me.”
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The Grandfathered actor began dating the model and actress in 1994 after they met backstage at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Stamos proposed to Romijn on Christmas Eve 1997 and the two married in September 1998.
In April 2004, the former couple announced their separation and Stamos filed for divorce in August of that year. Their separation was finalized in March 2005. Stamos told People that he hasn’t seen his ex-wife since a meeting with her divorce lawyers.
“My first marriage was broken for me. I was also broken for far too long,” Stamos told the outlet. “I mean, a year, okay, good. But it continued.” [for] Years and years.
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As Stamos wrote chapters in his book, he was challenged by memories of the past.
“In my mind at the time, she was the devil and I just hated her,” he said. “I couldn’t believe how much I hated her and it ruined my life.
Stamos and Romijn met in 1994 and married four years later. (Kevin Mazur)
Stamos, a recovering alcoholic, said he found it difficult to deal with his lingering feelings about the breakup while following Alcoholics Anonymous’s 12-step program.
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“When I look back, I talk about it [in the book], because it’s one of the steps in AA where the fourth step is that you lay out all your grievances, everything that people have done to you. I say, ‘None.'”
The process allowed him to realize that he had “some part” in the end of his first marriage.
“You start to think, ‘Oh, she wasn’t the devil. Maybe I was as much to blame as she was.’”
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The former soap opera star said he felt Romijn was “trying to make it work because she cared about him” before they divorced.
“It was very public and that was very painful. I haven’t written much about it, but it’s hard,” he said.
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“The perception was that she left me because her career was going well and mine wasn’t, and that’s humiliating,” Stamos added. “I don’t blame her for that. It was just the perception that people had, and maybe they weren’t wrong. She was doing great at the time and I wasn’t.”
Stamos said the “humiliating” breakup happened when her career was “going great and mine wasn’t.” (Steve Granitz)
When Stamos and Romijn split, she was at the peak of her career as one of the stars of the popular “X-Men” film series and had several film projects in the works. During this time, Stamos took on roles in television films, made guest appearances on shows such as “Friends,” and starred in two short-lived TV series, “Thieves” and “Jake in Progress.”
In 2006, Stamos landed a recurring role on the hit medical drama series ER, where he played the role of Dr. until the series ended in 2009. Tony Gates played.
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Stamos told People that his post-divorce coping process was “not healthy.”
“That’s when I really started drinking a lot,” he remembers. “But without that, I would never have known what real love was and I would never have set out to bring someone like Caitlin into my life.”
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“If I hadn’t gone through all that, all that heartache, I wouldn’t be who I am today,” Stamos explained. “That’s what I hope people take away.”
Romign, 50, married actor Jerry O’Connell in 2007 and the couple share twin daughters Charlie and Dolly, 13.
Fight against alcoholism
Stamos also discussed his struggles with alcohol and life after getting sober. He was charged with driving under the influence in 2015 and entered rehab. (Corey Nickols/Getty Images for IMDb)
In “If You Would Have Tell Me,” Stamos details his struggles with alcohol addiction and talks about how he hit rock bottom in 2015 when he was arrested for driving under the influence.
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“I had to get sober. I just drank too much,” Stamos told People. “I just went deep. I didn’t go up. I just surrounded myself with people I shouldn’t have been with.”
In June 2015, Stamos was pulled over in Beverly Hills after police received a call from a witness who reported seeing the actor driving erratically. After his arrest, Stamos was taken to the hospital and photos of the star in handcuffs appeared in several tabloids.
“I had this drunk driving incident and thought, ‘I can’t do this. I have to pick myself up again,’” Stamos recalls. “That’s when I confused the universe because I’m not a bad person, but I did shitty things.”
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After the arrest, Stamos was admitted to a rehabilitation facility where, according to People, it was “dark for a while.”
However, he recalled that his stay in rehab “started to get better” and he eventually “made a lot of really good friends.”
The actor credited Caitlyn and Billy with helping him maintain his sobriety. (Jason Mendez)
“I’ve had a lot waiting for me, and I feel bad because a lot of people don’t because they’ve burned their lives down,” he said of leaving rehab. “Luckily I had my sisters, but I also had Fuller House.” I came home and I think a week later we started Fuller House.
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Stamos credited Caitlyn and Billy for helping him maintain his sobriety over the years.
“They kept me on this path because everyone is trying to be sober and take care of themselves. ” he said.
“So staying on the path is what they mostly do for me,” Stamos added.
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When asked if he’s experienced any “setbacks” during his journey to sobriety, Stamos told the outlet that he’s been “pretty good.”
“It’s hard, but not because it’s hard for a lot of people,” he noted. “It’s not that hard for me because it’s still so fresh in my memory that all I have to do is look at the picture of me in handcuffs on that street.”
“I was sitting on a curb or whatever. I’m about to throw up just thinking about it [about it]Stamos explained.
“Never again.”
He finds his girlfriend Teri Copley naked in bed with Tony Danza
In his memoir, Stamos claimed he discovered that his then-girlfriend Teri Copley was cheating on him with Tony Danza, according to an excerpt from the book obtained by Entertainment Weekly.
Stamos recalled falling in love with the model and actress shortly after they first met in the 1980s.
“She is everything I look for in a woman,” he wrote. “She has an adorable daughter, Ashley, from a previous relationship and I love the idea of stepfatherhood. I’m starting to imagine our little family coming together. I am speechless and crazy with love. I could spend the rest of my life with her. Who knows if I’ll ever find love again? Why not take a risk?”
After the couple dated for more than a year, Stamos recalled Copley becoming increasingly distant as he left town to “do car shows and appearances.”
In his memoir, Stamos claimed he discovered that his then-girlfriend Teri Copley was cheating on him with Tony Danza, according to an excerpt from the book obtained by Entertainment Weekly. (Ron Galella/Ron Galella Collection via Getty Images)
“I call her from the road, but the girl who breathlessly picked up the phone after one ring is now giving me busy signals and dial tones,” he remembers. “When I get home, I call her all day and into the evening.
Although he initially assumed she was busy with auditions and modeling jobs, Stamos became worried when he didn’t hear from her for a while.
Stamos recalled that he decided to drive to her home in the San Fernando Valley, where he noticed “no lights on” and “no movement behind the windows.”
However, the actor saw an unknown car parked in Copley’s driveway. “A black Porsche 356 Speedster from 1957, vintage convertible. Strange. I shuffle to the car with a queasy stomach and take a quick look inside,” Stamos wrote.
He continued: “There is a hairbrush, keys, boxing gloves and a half-rolled poster of my girlfriend, naked, barely covered by a white sheet. Half of her butt is visible. I’ve never seen this poster before.”
According to EW, Stamos wrote that after finding out that both the front and back doors were locked, he went to the guest house where he and Copley sometimes slept.
Stamos recalled falling in love with the model and actress shortly after they first met in the 1980s. The two are pictured here in 1985. (Ron Galella/Ron Galella Collection via Getty Images)
“The blinds are closed, but the door is slightly open,” he recalled. “I take a look inside and see four feet sticking out of the shabby-chic floral duvet that once kept me warm. My Tiny Dancer is in bed with Mr. Porsche Speedster. They sleep. “I can’t tell who he is,” but I can see that Teri is barely covered by the sheets. It looks like her new poster.
Stamos described the discovery as his “worst nightmare” and recalled trying to “hold back tears.”
“Time slows down until I freeze,” he continued. “I can not breath. A few tears roll down my face and it makes me angry. They snap me out of my daze and I feel angry and confused. I could explode.”
It wasn’t until he was listening to Elton John on the drive home that Stamos “recognized my rival’s name.” “Hold me tighter, Tony Danza,” Stamos writes in his memoir. (Donaldson Collection/Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images)
Stamos recalled being unsure how to deal with the strange man in bed with Copley. “Do I pull him out of bed by his hair, kick him in the balls, and slap his ass?” He remembered asking himself. “She is my girlfriend. Who is this piece of shit? He seems familiar to me. Satisfied bastard. He turns around, exposing his muscular abs and body.”
Stamos wrote that he ultimately decided to “run like hell” because he decided it was “not the time or place to save an ego that has spiraled into insanity.” However, he revealed that he had taken Copley’s poster out of the car before leaving. “I stare at the two-dimensional, half-dressed woman I thought I knew.”
“She signed the poster with little hearts: ‘My dear Tony, I will love you forever. XO, Teri,'” he recalled. “Tony? Who the hell is Tony?”
Stamos wrote that “my rival’s name came to mind” as he drove home and listened to Elton John.
“Hold me tighter, Tony Danza,” he recalled.
Tony Danza and Teri Copley pose for a portrait circa 1986 in Los Angeles, California. (Donaldson Collection/Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images)
It wasn’t all bad blood, however. According to EW, in another chapter of Stamos’ memoir, the actor credits Danza’s “Who’s the Boss?” with helping his own show “Full House” achieve stable viewership in its first season.
“If you had told me the day I walked into this room and caught my true love in bed with another man, that his show ‘Who’s the Boss?’ would make ‘Full House’ a real hit and make me too would make a household name…” Stamos shared. “Well, what can I say? Thank you, Tony Danza.”
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Fox News Digital has reached out to representatives for Copley and Danza for comment.
Fox News Digital’s Tracy Wright contributed to this report.