The dating world is in turmoil! I came to this conclusion last weekend after inviting my friends over for a glass of champagne before a fancy lunch at Icebergs.
As I looked around my living room, I realized that all of my friends are total catches. Not only are they great, but they have great jobs, comfortable wages, and are incredibly good company.
And it’s not just this group of girlfriends, I have at least two other groups that are all in the same boat.
And yet… they are ALL single!
Not for lack of trying, I might add. We spent the afternoon telling funny dating stories, sharing the crazy things we’d seen on dating apps, and thinking about why guys insist on sharing gym selfies #ick.
All my friends are absolute catches. Not only are they great, but they have great jobs, comfortable wages, and are incredibly good company. And yet…they are ALL single!
What we’re looking for isn’t anything too crazy. A nice guy who is well-rounded, has emotional intelligence, has a decent job and is nice to women. And dogs. Definitely dogs.
So where are these guys? Well, my original thought was, “Oh, I know, they’re chasing girls in their 20s.” I asked a guy in my office what he was doing over the weekend and he said it was his girlfriend’s 21st birthday. He is 37.
When he complained about how immature her friends were and the lack of good wine on the boat trip they were on, I thought to myself, “Why the hell are you dating a 21-year-old?”
Yes, it’s terribly judgmental of me, but seriously. What do they talk about when they don’t start like rabbits?
I’ve been thinking for a while now that we’re all single because my amazing friends and I are being passed over by the guys we’re into because we’re too old
But I started to think that maybe the problem is that me and my friends have planned a life that we absolutely love, and if we want to accept a man into our lives, they have to be on the same level or higher. You can’t interfere with it, you have to add something to my life
I’ve been thinking for a while now that we’re all single because my amazing friends and I are being passed over by the guys we’re into because we’re too old. In fact, it’s safe to assume that we don’t even register on many dating apps for men our age because they set their age limits at 20 to – just shy of – 30 years old.
Isn’t that wild? And yes, I fully expect my Instagram DMs to be filled with messages from men ranting about how I shouldn’t have prioritized my career over men and babies. And that I’m too picky. Oh, and my favorite song: “I hit a wall.” (Side note: Why do so many men love to use the phrase “You hit a wall?”? It always comes from a hairy, bald guy who scratching his balls on social networks. Ok, buddy.)
I have a different opinion, dear grumpy gentlemen. I’ve never felt more comfortable in my own skin, I don’t want kids and I’ve enjoyed every moment of chasing a career I wanted.
But there has to be a bigger reason why all my friends and I are single than just a few superficial guys wanting a pretty young thing on their arm.
After some thought, I started to think that maybe the problem is that me and my friends have planned a life that we absolutely love, and if we want to accept a man into our lives, they have to be on the same level or higher . You can’t interfere with it, you have to add something to my life.
I’ve complained for so long about refusing to relax my standards or settle for just any old guy. But have I dated guys who are completely different than me? No
And it seemed a little more about money to me, especially when I presented it to a group of women at a work meeting yesterday.
Then I came across a book that somewhat proves this theory, saying that there is a real male deficit among career women right now. Author Jon Birger wrote a book about it called “Date-onomics: How Dating Became a One-Sided Numbers Game.” In it he explains why so many women find it difficult to meet “Mr. Right” and it all comes down to the numbers. They said, “It’s not women’s fault, it’s demographics.”
According to Birger, the problem with women currently living in big cities is that there are far more women than men with college degrees. He said that women would face difficulties if they had a man who had the same level of education as them.
And the men who are are more likely to leave the playing field and delay marriage because there are so many women to choose from.
He said the solution is for women to be more open about who they want to date. And here’s a plot twist for you, I think he’s right.
The girls and I vowed to expand our dating field and go places outside of the city bubble. Can’t hurt, right?
I’ve complained for so long about refusing to relax my standards or settle for just any old guy. But have I dated guys who are completely different than me? No.
I tend to become an employee. Sure, I’ve dabbled with a few soccer players in the past, but that was just for fun. Maybe I should meet people who didn’t go to college. Or took up a profession, or here’s an idea… a farmer!
Maybe we’re all single because we’ve only stuck with what we know. Maybe my right gentleman is trying to herd sheep into a shearing shed and I was trying to look for him in a fancy wine bar. Wrong place, Jana!
In the beautiful words of Taylor Swift: “It’s me.” “I’m the problem, it’s me.”
The girls and I vowed to expand our dating field and go places outside of the city bubble. Can’t hurt, right?