As a woman, I am fully aware of how much we contradict ourselves.
We say we want more time for ourselves, but then we sign up for every half-decent event on Facebook. We say we want to be healthier, but then we eat an entire bag of Doritos. We say we’ll wait for Prince Charming, but settle for an uglier, slightly alcoholic cousin.
We say we want to be happy, but then consciously do things that we know will make us sad.
What can we say? We are complicated.
What we don’t realize is that we’ve been looking for happiness everywhere except one place where we actually find it: within ourselves.
The way we live is too often dictated by the rest of the world. We base our actions and motives on being a better friend, wife, mother, and person. While it’s great to aspire to all of these ideas, the standards for what makes them good have been defined by everyone but you.
All our lives we have sacrificed our happiness to make other people more comfortable. It’s time to stop.
So instead of spending another second worrying about your mom/your boss/your boyfriend/that girl you went to high school with that you totally hate but for some reason is still nice to think about , why not just find out what you think?
Unless your actions hurt someone else physically or emotionally, no one’s opinion really matters.
Of course, there are a lot of decisions you should make that should take into account the opinions of others (mainly just those you love and respect), but in order for you to find happiness within yourself, you have to stop caring.
Here are 11 things every adult woman should stop worrying about (because it’s tiring):
1. The way you dress
Whether you wear mom jeans or crop tops, your personal style literally has nothing to do with anyone else’s. Judge what you wear based on your own preferences and what you are comfortable with, and never let anyone tell you what you can and can’t wear.
2. Who you sleep with
What (and who, wink) you do between the sheets is nobody’s business but yours.
3. How you make your money
It doesn’t matter where you are in life, don’t let anyone make you feel bad about your job. Your only competitor is yourself – no one else.
4. What others think about you
When you allow other people’s opinions to influence your life, you spend your days worrying and overthinking. Block out excess negativity and focus on making you happy.
5. What other people post about on social media
Social media is the worst when it comes to making people seem like they’re having more fun than they actually are. Stop worrying about what everyone else is doing.
6. What your ex does
The past is in the past for a reason, boo. Let that go.
7. Your pant size
While I’m all for taking care of your health and your body, please don’t worry about a number on a scale or the size of your jeans. Whether you are in shape depends more on how you feel than how you look.
8. People telling you what to do
The only person who should make rules about how you live your life is yourself.
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9. The past
If you’re holding on to something from your past, it’s time to say goodbye. This baggage will only hold you down and prevent you from enjoying the present moment.
10. The future
Likewise, it’s no use worrying about the future. If you focus all your energy on what could happen, you miss the opportunity to live a fulfilling life.
11. Anything else you can’t control
Seriously, whether it’s the people or the weather conditions, stop worrying about it. The only things you can truly control are your actions and your reactions to things that happen to you.
Emily Blackwood is a freelance writer, editor and journalist covering relationships, entertainment and news, pop culture and wellness.