Having a lover pays off if you look at the issue purely economically. A divorce costs 3.6 times more than an affair: While the average annual cost of a separation is around 16,588 euros, maintaining a lover costs 4,657 euros. This is according to 2020 calculations by Ashley Madison, one of the dating platforms for married couples with the largest number of users in the world: more than 80 million records. In Spain alone, the second largest European market, there are 1.7 million unfaithful people, ahead of countries like France, Italy and Germany. In the world rankings, it occupies seventh place with more than 40 countries.
So there is a market of infidelity and lovers in Spain that is quite seductive. Hundreds of thousands of people spend money – some more than others; It depends on interest, generosity and wallet – a monthly amount of money in this furtive relationship. And it’s not just about men. More and more women are trying the forbidden and in fact, in all countries where Ashley Madison operates, female infidelity is on the rise. On this platform, the ratio of active users paying for a subscription in Spain is 0.8 women per man.
It is very difficult to study how many people have a lover (as long as these relationships are secret and little publicized) and how much they spend on this extramarital relationship, but some surveys can help give some idea. In Spain, 42% of men and 31% of women have been unfaithful. These are the data of a survey carried out in 2022 by Gleeden (of Glee, Joy in English and Eden, Paradise), a platform specializing in adulterous encounters with 11 million users around the world, including a million in Spain. , offered as a privileged place for safe contact with unfaithful people from all over the world: “Whether you are looking for an extramarital adventure close to home or traveling to find a lover thousands of miles away.”
Beyond moral issues, the presence of a lover requires strong nerves, a good memory, prudence and the provision of a budget for travel and gifts, especially flowers, chocolates, lingerie and sex toys, the details that unfaithful people most often resort to.
Ashley Madison’s estimated average annual budget of its users is divided between hotels (1,944 euros), restaurants (618 euros), gifts (three per year, 408 euros) and gym, clothing, beauty and personal care products (600 euros). . In this payout list, the company lists two important items: flowers for the main couple (once a month, 640 euros) and special gifts, also for the official partner (two per year, 351 euros). We must not forget that one of the attitudes that gives the most indications of the possibility of an affair is that the couple becomes a more detail-oriented person.
They try to assuage the guilt by drawing cards. Although, according to a study by Dylan Selterman, associate professor at the Department of Psychology at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, USA, cheaters usually do not feel remorse or regret their affairs. In addition, the majority believe that the extramarital relationship was positive for the couple. According to a study by Ashley E. Thompson, Delaney Wilder, and Danica Kulibert (2021), the motivation for infidelity has nothing to do with a lack of romantic love for the primary partner, but rather a lack of sexual satisfaction. In fact, they believe that their primary relationship improves somewhat or even significantly as a result of their affairs.
Gleeden creates its own cost estimate. 26% of unfaithful people (80% men and 20% women) say they have a certain amount (16% answer yes and 10% say it depends on the month) that they have for attention with their partner even though they don’t spend big, according to a survey by the company in September this year. The majority donate between 50 and 150 euros per month, and only a few (4%) donate more than 500 euros per month. When it comes to paying for hotel stays, most scammers spend between 100 and 300 euros per month.
Give reasons for the absence
But for a weekend of sex and debauchery outside the city, it’s not just the hotel that you have to pay for. Although it may seem very cinematic, there are a significant number of disbelievers who hire alibis from companies. It compiles evidence that makes it plausible that the absence from the family home is for work-related reasons. Creating an alibi for a secret weekend costs between 150 and 250 euros, depending on the complexity of the order. All excuses are tailored to the customer and are different.
According to the company Coartada, an agency founded 25 years ago in Germany that landed in Spain two years ago, “in Spain we have an average of one to five customers per day.” There are many more in Germany because we are better known there,” says Laura Gonzalez. The company believes that sex or flirting platforms (Tinder, OnlyFans…) have contributed to the growth of its business.
The lying company founded by Stefan Eiben has been offering a double life for more than two decades, “so that our customers can enjoy their adventure stress-free for many years.” To do this, we use companies that are our partners and real actors.”
Unfaithful people book the services for an erotic and festive weekend, but also for a short evening or even a vacation with their lover. “People want to satisfy their sexual needs without jeopardizing their marriage,” González adds. It is precisely the lack of sexual desire towards the official partner that drives the deception. Alibis usually work. But in the event of a discovery, the situation could be saved, for example, by using a lie detector. “The results are wrong,” reveals González.
Although the profile of unbelievers who resort to these tricks is very heterogeneous, the majority are between 30 and 60 years old. Half of the customers are women. “There are housewives, police officers, lawyers, businessmen, preachers, unemployed people, celebrities and white-collar workers,” they conclude, in this company that simulates perfect couples.
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