When Katie Barson received the devastating news late last year that her breast cancer had returned – that it had spread throughout her body, that it was incurable and that she might not have long to live – she hit what she calls the heartbreak , “hardest decision of my life”. ‘.
The single mother, now 36, told her medical team that she did not want any further treatment.
Katie, from Mansfield in Nottinghamshire, was first diagnosed with an aggressive, difficult-to-treat form of the disease in March 2020. She battled surgeries, radiation therapy and chemotherapy that triggered an extremely rare immune system reaction.
But despite the excruciating rashes, muscle weakness and swelling all over her body, it worked and in December 2021 Katie, a junior doctor at a GP practice, was told she was cancer-free.
She wrote on her Instagram account at the time, where she shared intimate details of her ordeal: “It’s been an emotional roller coaster.” I’ve gone from relief to ecstasy, to crying, to fear, to anger, to worry, to worry and to guilt – because I actually do managed to get this far while so many don’t.
“But it’s as if the heaviest weight in the world has been lifted from us for now.”
When Katie Barson received the devastating news late last year that her breast cancer had returned – that it had spread throughout her body, that it was incurable and that she might not have long to live – she hit what she calls the heartbreak , “hardest decision of my life”. ‘
RELIEF: Katie Barson, 36, is hugged by her daughter Freya after beating cancer in 2021
A SHARED PROBLEM: Katie found relief by recording her ordeal on social media
However, the relief was not to last. After feeling pain in her shoulder and chest in September last year, tests showed her cancer had returned with a vengeance – there was no cure and few treatment options.
And so, in November 2022, she made the remarkable decision to “live life – without the side effects of the chemotherapy that paralyzed me last time.”
Instead, she focused on “making memories” with her 13-year-old daughter Freya and spent the remaining time doing things she’s always wanted to do.
Since then, some of the most treasured moments of the year have included “a billion adventures” with Freya, ice skating at Christmas on a trip to Disneyland Paris, and realizing a dream of going skydiving. “I was smiling the whole way down – from takeoff to landing the whole thing was just incredible,” Katie said.
She also completed a grueling mud run for charity just weeks after suffering a collapsed lung – a complication of her rapidly progressing cancer.
“I didn’t disappoint my sponsors, so I did it,” she said. “I’ve never been so proud of myself.” Granted, I ran, but I tried every single obstacle – like I always do in life. Freya and seven of my friends and family joined me and it was one of the most fun days I’ve had in a long time.”
Last week, before Katie went into hospice shortly before her death, she told the Mail on Sunday: “When I had the chemotherapy I felt so bad and I wasn’t myself at all.”
“Freya said to me, ‘You don’t look like my mom or smell like her.’ I didn’t want my daughter’s memory to be someone she didn’t know.
“When you’re diagnosed, you feel like you have to do what you’re told.” But you will know what’s right for your family and I knew this was the right decision.
“I wanted to be able to live while I was well, and I knew that the treatment would not give me the quality of life I would have to be able to do things with my daughter.”
DIFFICULT STUFF: Katie (left) smiles next to a friend after her muddy charity run earlier this year
Katie’s story is just one of several poignant accounts featured in a new YouTube film from the charity Breast Cancer Now. Titled “Stories Of Secondary,” it is about shedding light on secondary breast cancer – when the disease spreads and makes it incurable.
There are an estimated 61,000 patients living with secondary breast cancer in the UK and around 11,500 die each year. In five percent of women, the cancer has already spread by the time of diagnosis.
Treatment can delay the progression of the disease, but ultimately cannot stop the progression of the disease.
Highlighting secondary breast cancer is something Katie is passionate about. Reflecting on the overall positive treatment picture, which means that for all forms of breast cancer, 85 percent of women now survive the disease for five years or longer, she said: “Breast cancer is often referred to as the “good cancer”. But cancer isn’t good, is it?’
Katie suffers from triple-negative breast cancer, which accounts for 15 percent of cases. These cancers do not respond to normal hormonal cancer treatments, and in their case, newer immunotherapy drugs were also ineffective.
Not only did she fulfill her wish list, but she was also strong enough to plan for the future.
“I wrote cards for important dates or important things in Freya’s life,” Katie explained. “Her 16th, 18th and 21st birthdays, her passing her driving test, her passing exams, her studies, her first home, her first baby, her engagement, her wedding anniversary – I’m laying down my words for her because I don’t give them can me.
“Planning my own funeral was difficult but also therapeutic.” It meant I took the pressure off my family.
“Knowing that the first funeral Freya goes to is her mother’s… I can’t imagine how hard that will be.” I wanted a cremation because there was no way she would organize a service and then a funeral . This is too much in a long day.’
She added: “And then, with my ashes, I thought, I don’t want to sit on a mantelpiece for the next 30 years.”
“That’s why I decided to put them in fireworks so they can go off and Freya knows I’m in the sky – wherever she is in the world.”
“I don’t want her to feel like she’s tied to one place because I’m there, or that she has to take care of a gravestone.”
“She can travel the world because I’m wherever she wants me to be.” There are fireworks everywhere, so I want her to see fireworks and think about her mother.
“You can’t cry when you look at the sky. It’s beautiful.”
The film also stars Jacqueline Tolfree, 57, a mother of four from Gloucestershire.
Katie’s story is just one of many poignant accounts featured in a new YouTube film from the charity Breast Cancer Now (pictured: Katie in a sparkly jacket that sums up her feelings)
When she was told her breast cancer had returned and was terminal, she said: “I remember sitting in my car with my hands on the steering wheel and screaming. “I was so full of anger and frustration.
“I didn’t want to hurt people, I didn’t want to say how I felt. I thought, ‘I’m going to park and scream.’ It felt lovely.”
Both Jacqueline’s mother and grandmother had successfully treated breast cancer, so the news that her breast cancer was incurable was a huge blow.
“It was like horror. I felt like I wasn’t in my body. The oncologist didn’t tell me, he told someone else. “Sometimes I’m so scared that I have to hold my husband’s hand in bed because I wake up overwhelmed and needing comfort.”
But defiantly, Jacqueline added: “I will live my life as best as I can and take advantage of every opportunity that comes my way.”
She even wrote and directed a play called Glass Cage about her experience with breast cancer, explaining that it helped her “express feelings, emotions and thoughts.”
“The reason for the name was because I felt exposed yet trapped with no place to hide. It was about my primary breast cancer. It ran for two nights at our local arts center and sold out.
She also wrote a short story about feelings of loss.
She added: “Life is very precious and it’s a shame that I had to reach this stage to realize it and that I didn’t think that much about my health before.”
Ruth Warden, 55, from West Yorkshire, also appears in the Breast Cancer Now film. She has lobular breast cancer, which is sometimes harder to detect because it doesn’t always form a solid lump.
In fact, Ruth was healthy, active and busy and had no idea she was sick until she had a routine mammogram at age 50. A mastectomy for primary breast cancer followed, but scans soon showed the cancer had spread to her spine, liver and bones.
Of the day she found out, Ruth said, “I had to get out.” [the hospital] before it collapses.
“It was raining heavily. I sobbed the whole way home and told my husband, my two sons and the rest of my family. It’s just terrible. “You think your life has been taken away, and it happens in an instant.”
Ruth’s husband and sons, aged 20 and 25, supported her through treatment, but the cancer has now spread to her brain, leaving her unable to drive. She added: “I live with it, but I don’t want it to define me.” I would like to run and be more active, but since my energy is limited, I have to choose carefully what I spend it on. A strenuous day must be followed by rest.
“It’s about learning to live with what’s happening rather than railing against it. “I’m not going to climb a huge hill, but Mam Tor or Glastonbury Tor are just as good.”
Rachael Franklin, director of fundraising, communications and engagement at Breast Cancer Now, said: “There are thousands of women living with secondary breast cancer in the UK, yet their stories are often overlooked.”
“The experiences shared in this film by Katie, Jacqueline, Ruth and others provide an intimate look at the reality of living with secondary breast cancer and how research is key to giving people battling this devastating disease more time with their loved ones give.”
The charity has put £5 million into secondary breast cancer research, while also funding studies into other types of breast cancer. But it says more money is needed to achieve its goal of having all people diagnosed with breast cancer alive – and supported to thrive – by 2050.