Sylvie* is 70 years old. For years she was single and had more or less given up on her sexuality until she decided to learn English. Not in any way: by reading novels. Not just any romance novels: romance novels. Interview with a single, menopausal woman who was suddenly “accidentally” revived.
Published at 10:00 am.
By the way, it’s not the first. Remember. Last month, when Sylvie read the story of a young thirty-year-old whose libido was rediscovered through some naughty readings, he dared to write to us.
In an anonymous café in Hochelaga-Maisonneuve we can see how the lady is a bit stressed. “I can’t believe I met you, I feel like I have nothing to say!” she confirms, laughing nervously.
However, it begins with a thought that says a lot: “From the age of 50, society assumes that women no longer have any sexuality.” As if their bodies no longer function. But it’s not because menopause comes that we necessarily stop being a woman! »
It’s all the same thing she had internalized after an uneventful life, albeit too often “vanilla”. This is exactly how she describes her first two partners, whom she met in high school and then at university. “Missionary position,” she puts it laconically. One two three. Three two one. »
I didn’t have an orgasm. I experienced this when I was 30!
Sylvie, late sixties
Mind you, she’s not fooling them. Because she knows that she wasn’t more proactive back then: “I didn’t expect that either. I realized I wasn’t asking for anything either! »
Then, at the age of 30, Sylvie met the “most important man” in her life. He is the father of her child and their story lasts 10 years. “With him I explored, I woke up my body! », it suddenly lights up. Together they try out different positions, different places and some toys. With him she also experiences her “first thrills”. “I sit on him, wow, what does that feel like? »
Her early years were “very sticky” and “really magical.” She remembers entire weekends in bed, laughing, reading and cuddling. “But why is there always a “but”? », she calls here. Because there is actually one: “At some point we got lost. We couldn’t talk to each other enough to keep going…” She lets it loose, half nostalgic, half resigned.
At forty, Sylvie is single. At first she “doesn’t want to know anything anymore,” then she decides To “on the Internet.” There she meets her first man and immediately falls back into the “vanilla” pattern. Why exactly? “I don’t know. I sold myself for little money,” she realizes afterwards. The story lasts a while, then she meets a second man online, about 50 years old. She is no longer looking for love. “At 50, forget it,” she says. It’s aimed primarily at a certain level of complicity, namely a “life partner.” But she realizes too late that it’s not enough when she realizes that the guy in question isn’t her attracts. The end of the story.
Out of ?
That is not completely right. Quite the opposite, and strangely against her will. Since then, Sylvie has retired, moved and finally feels “in the right place”. As a bonus, she started traveling. Hence the observation: “I have to learn English!” » To do this, our interlocutor turns to something accessible, her favorite literature: Harlequin-style novels, this time in English. “Novels that I’ve been ashamed of my whole life,” she slips, “because they’re cheesy…”
It was five years ago. Surprise. Because there you have it, and contrary to all expectations, these novels are no longer exactly what they were. We understand that Sylvie is not looking for eroticism from the start. Above all, it is the story, the encounters, the human frescoes in different worlds (a large family here, a sports team there, “everything but a blue flower!”) that attracts him. But in recent years it has “gradually become more descriptive,” she notes with amusement, quoting quite explicit titles (Dirty Like Me by Jaine Diamond, Puck Yes by Lauren Blakely or even Doctor Mystake by J. Saman). And she knows what she’s talking about: she reads several times a week (thanks Kindle!).
“The characters used to get closer, then on the next page it was the next morning. » Not anymore, we understand that. “It is literature that has reached this point!” It is truly something special! »
The descriptions are not only more descriptive, but also contemporary. “We’re talking about slapping, polyamory, that’s new!” » And obviously Sylvie doesn’t hate it. “The descriptions, the increasing intimacy between two people,” she sums up modestly, “I feel it! »
It awakens my libido! We have to do something with this!
Sylvie, late sixties
And that’s where Sylvie recently started stroking herself for the first time in her life. “It was a revelation! I have never masturbated! »
Sometimes that’s what she does every day. Then she can go almost a month without touching herself, or even skip certain reading passages. “If it doesn’t tempt me!” » Sometimes, however, she gives it her all. And she doesn’t regret it. This is exactly why she wanted to tell her story.
“The magic of this late awakening to ‘assisted masturbation,'” she concludes, is that I was able to reconnect with my body without even looking for it, in complete discretion and without the mountain of insecurities , which would certainly have hindered any attempt to show my 60+ year old body to a lover for the first time. Of course, she agrees, nothing can replace genuine, pleasurable exchanges with a partner. But it’s still a pretty good second choice! And I wish that for all single women…” it says!
* Fictitious first name to maintain anonymity