Thanks to If we loved each other And If we still loved each otherLouise Sigouin cares for and supports people with the aim of helping them achieve social well-being. These hit shows literally changed his life. The interpersonal relationships expert, who has experienced her own delicate times, knows well that to give to others you must first give to yourself, and she does this regularly, giving a privileged place to the resource.
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Louise, the show If we loved each other achieved an undeniable success. Is this a defining project in your professional career?
This project changed my life! Thanks to the trust of Anne Boyer, the show’s creator and producer, I entered a professional environment that was completely unfamiliar to me. This allowed me to help develop a new educational approach that allows us to support the public emotionally, romantically and sexually. It is a great privilege and a gift that I greatly appreciate. We just finished filming If We Still Loved Each Other 2. It’s a very enriching, very stimulating concept. These are couples in crisis who are faced with important issues that require them to make decisions to save their relationship. The success of “If We Loved Each Other” and “If We Loved Each Other Again” relies on the great commitment of the participants, who give us access to their intimacy. It allows me to make authentic interventions.
Photo: Dominic Gouin / TVA Pub
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Not only do these shows have an impact on the lives of the people you consult, but I expect they also help those who watch them.
Yes, that is a testimony I receive often. From a more personal perspective, pursuing my mission on a larger scale, collectively rather than individually, made me feel useful and successful. Having the opportunity to contribute to people’s lives is extraordinary and I am deeply grateful for this privilege.
Have you always been driven by the desire to help people?
Yes, and I always wanted to find a way to make information available to give as many people as possible access to tools and a way to maintain good relationships. With “If We Loved Each Other” the goal is more than achieved. People regularly tell me how much it has made a difference in their lives.
Do people tell you that you saved their relationship?
Yes, people come up to me regularly and tell me that the show is good for them, that it has changed their lives. They also often tell me that they appreciate my work. They meet me with a great familiarity that I love. They call me by my first name as if they feel like they know me. It does me the most good.
Did the book also have a positive effect on people?
Yes, thanks to my co-author François De Falkensteen, it is also a privilege, because it was an opportunity for me to present my approach to the five dualities that I have been working with for 30 years. It is an approach that is intended to be accessible. That’s what I’ve always cared about: that it’s easy and that we can achieve wellness on the relationship, romantic and sexual levels. It gives the impression that we are not the only ones in our saga. The five dualities can also apply to all relationships: romantic, familial, friendly or even with work colleagues.
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You’ve already said that If we loved each other changed your life. How did she do that?
This led to important career changes. Thanks to the support and trust of my customers, I decided to become a member and Si on s’aime prevailed over my professional mission. However, I continue my relationship support privately. It is important for me to maintain my practice because this is the only way I can remain available to my clients.
Do you wish you were more tired?
I felt like my belonging at this stage of my life was more about loving one another. I’ve always wanted to make that impact, and when I saw the magnitude of television, I knew I had to choose the show.
What guided or called you when you chose this career?
I wanted to support people because at some point we all go through a phase where we feel isolated and lonely. One day I told myself that it must be extraordinary to be the person you open your heart to and trust to be with you no matter what the problem is. Of course, I have a special attraction for everything that has to do with love and love life. My choice silently falls in this direction.
Was there never an alternative, a plan B?
No, it was clear that I wanted to support people. It was embedded in a field, namely sexual science, for 30 years. It’s love life in general that has always interested me, that piqued my interest from day one.
Can you explain why this aspect of life appeals to you?
I think no one can remain indifferent to love and life. I see this from my experience, even though there were times when it was extremely painful and others when we felt like giving up, throwing in the towel and committing to no longer get caught, we all want to spite Find a feeling of love again in everything, whether with the person you have chosen or with a new person. Even if it is painful, it remains an unmet need that we never give up. Even though it’s difficult, we don’t give up because love life fulfills a certain need that no other relationship can fulfill.
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• Also read: The production intervenes during a stormy and uncomfortable passage in “If We Loved Each Other.”
Did you grow up with parents who perhaps inspired you to pursue this career?
Not necessarily. Even when I was little, I was always looking for contact with people. Even today, it’s easy for me to get in touch with people and it’s important in my everyday life, no matter where I am. That is one of the strengths of my work: being able to quickly build a bond and a climate of trust. I carried this within me, like a gift, a talent, a gift that I recognized early in my life.
Is it sometimes difficult to always listen and welcome others without judgment?
It is something we have naturally, which means we never find it difficult. From the moment this happens, I believe we need to rethink our career choices. It’s like second nature. It happens naturally, without force.
Do you sometimes feel the need to take a step back?
I do it regularly. Rejuvenation is essential and very easy and accessible. Nature and hiking are two very important ways for me to recharge my batteries. It allows me to refocus on what’s important and feel all the gratitude I have for life. It’s my way of recharging my batteries.
Do we often manage to reconnect with ourselves through simplicity?
Yes, you have to take time for yourself to be able to feel: “Where am I?” “What is the essential thing?” “What is important?” I like to work with the three dimensions of head, heart and body. I find that walking calms the mind and puts us back in touch with our bodies and with something bigger than ourselves. It forces us to slow down. There is something meditative about walking. We take it step by step. It’s simple but very refreshing. For me it has always done me the greatest good. In order to take care of others, you necessarily have to take care of yourself?
Absolutely. It’s a reminder: We teach what we most need to learn. By giving advice, we end up applying it to ourselves. Since I am my work tool, it is important that I am well enough to be fully available to the person who agrees to present to me, with all their vulnerability and authenticity, what they are experiencing inside. It’s a sign of respect.
Does Louise Sigouin, the woman, go through difficult times, questions and crises?
If that weren’t the case, I wouldn’t be a normal person. After a 30-year career, there were phases that were more stormy than others. At the same time, I think it’s good: work has always been a source of renewal for me and I’ve always managed to make myself available. During these phases, the end of the day is more stressful because we have given and drawn on resources that we had not suspected, but in fact, like every person, I have phases that are a little more stormy and difficult. Others a little happier… (laughs)
Would you say you have more tools than average?
I think you can find the tools if you look for them. A tool that is good for me is not necessarily good for others. We must never lose sight of the fact that we all have our inner resources. It’s about taking the time to try a few to see what feels good and what resonates with you. It continues to evolve, just as we evolve as humans. What was good for us at 18 no longer has the same effect at 35 or 55. You need to do the practice of being true to yourself, getting in touch with yourself, and asking yourself what you need today to do good for yourself emotionally, intellectually, and physically.
Photo: Patrick Seguin / TVA Pu
What entertains you?
I need to be at home, with my family, with friends, where I can just be Louise, with complete simplicity, with complete freedom, with complete authenticity. When I manage to experience these moments in which I can just let go and be completely myself, it is the most beautiful relaxation. I can do it with people who make me feel at home. I find it very nutritious. In the summer I took advantage of the beautiful season to meet friends, travel to the regions and meet people I haven’t had time to see since the pandemic. So I took the opportunity to get up to speed on my relationships and my escapades.
Are family and friends two important pillars in your life?
Absolutely, and it has always been important to me. At the same time, I also need to be at home, alone, quiet, to rest. Then I can recharge my batteries with peace of mind. As important as family and friends are in my life, I also need to be alone.
You still have to be good to yourself…
Yes, that is the key. It is important to tame this time of aloneness. It may not be good, but we try it for 20 minutes and then half a day. Anyone who is used to being alone should be careful not to fall into isolation. You have to practice meeting someone at least once a day.
“If We Loved Each Other” airs Monday through Thursday at 7:30 p.m. on the TVA Network.
The books Si on s’aime volumes 1, 2 and 3 and the box with 52 cards answering 194 questions are published by Éditions de l’Homme.
