The Backstreet Boys were one of the most famous boy bands of the second half of the 1990s. They no longer fill stadiums like they did decades ago, but after the breakup of Take That and the Spice Girls, they are the only pop band still together, with the same five members who founded them. In fact, last May they completed a tour that took them to stages around the world (including Madrid and Barcelona). But less than a week after the DNA world tour ended, AJ McLean (45 years old, West Palm Beach, Florida) decided it was time to call it quits, got in his truck and drove to Scottsdale, Arizona, where he spent ten weeks undergoing intensive therapy.
“I completed a 10-week intensive program to treat past trauma, post-traumatic stress disorder, depression and anxiety,” the singer told American media site Page Six. An experience that, as he clarifies, has nothing to do with maintaining his sobriety since he has not tried alcohol for two years. “NO [fui] “Both because of my sobriety, because it’s pretty solid,” says the pop star. “I attend my meetings regularly and follow my 12-step program [de Alcohólicos Anónimos]. I have my sponsor. I know I take it very seriously. But I had to get to the bottom of the problem.”
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And from the experience, about which he preferred not to reveal too many details, he made one thing clear: he wanted to meet his father, whom he had not seen since he was three years old. The two had kept in touch sporadically through messages, but therapy was “a catalyst” that led AJ to reach out to his father: “Hey, why don’t we sit down for a bit?” I’d like to meet you. My mother, my uncle and my other family told me one thing about your kind.” He wanted to know their side of the story so he could make his own decisions. This is how father and son saw each other again 42 years after the last time.
The meeting took place a few months ago and he wanted to share it with his 1.3 million followers on his Instagram. “My parents divorced 42 years ago. For the past 35 years I have blamed myself. I never knew my father except through what the rest of my family told me. My father performed at one or two concerts, but I never wanted to see or talk to him. “Tonight was the first time in 42 years that my dad and I sat together as two grown men and talked about life, my life, his life and life in general,” began one message, accompanied by two photos of the reunion, to which he assures that he arrived without expectations and with fear, anger, resentment and doubt. “I really had a great time, I found out when my dad’s birthday is, something I never knew. I knew my father was a musician. Something I never knew. I learned where my name comes from, something I never knew. But today I know that what happened between my mother and father really had nothing to do with me, but over the last 35 years I have lost my self-esteem and started down a terrible path for myself by getting involved surrounded by toxic people and toxic relationships. and the most toxic thing was my relationship with myself.” And it ended: “Today begins a new chapter in my life with my father, just one foot in front of the other. Thank you, Dad, for taking the time to sit with your son and see me for who I am.”
“I knew I had a window of opportunity, so I said, ‘You know what? I need to do some inner work. The sobriety thing is good. “I need to go back and do some research.” Ten weeks for the rest of my life, I’m so grateful for that. “It was absolutely worth it,” he told People magazine last September about the therapy, but he didn’t reveal anything else at the time.
McLean now admits in the interview that many things are changing in his life, such as the fact that he has finally realized that he can separate his artist self from his self as a person. “AJ is a job. It’s not who I really am. “It doesn’t define me,” says someone who now prefers to be called Alex when “he’s not in Backstreet mode.” “Probably the most important thing I’ve learned is authenticity, being my true, authentic self,” he also told People magazine a few days ago about his transformative journey since deciding to quit drinking two years ago .
The five members of the Backstreet Boys (left to right): Howie Dorough, AJ McLean, Kevin Richardson, Brian Littrell and Nick Carter, in December 1996. Paul Bergen (Redferns/getty)
In addition to the big change in his life that was the reunion with his father, there was another, perhaps even bigger: last March, the singer announced his separation from Rochelle McLean, to whom he was married for eleven years and two has daughters (Ava, 10 years old, and Lyric, 6). “Marriage is difficult, but it’s worth it. “We have mutually decided to temporarily separate to work on ourselves and our marriage in hopes of building a stronger future,” they announced in a joint statement. This “working on ourselves” was probably the reason why he completed ten weeks of therapy in March of that year. “We talk every day, we spend more and more time together. “We just have to rebuild something that wasn’t there to begin with,” AJ McLean told the Sex, Lies, and Spray Tans podcast last week about what their relationship is like today. “I came with baggage, she came with baggage, she had trauma, I had trauma. I was neither sober nor ready to be sober. She was struggling with her own shit. It was just a constant push and pull: She swept her feelings under the rug or I went into a bottle.”
Today, every time you ask him, he’s proud that he’s put 25 years of drug and alcohol problems behind him. His commitment to sobriety stemmed from a very specific episode that he shared with People in October 2022. “Literally 10 months ago I visited Shania Twain in Las Vegas. Before I even got on the plane, I had already planned the whole night. I knew where I would get my medication. I knew where I was going to get drunk. I knew everything and thought, “Okay, it’s one night.” As long as a certain hour doesn’t go by and it doesn’t smell like that, I can leave and then come home. My wife won’t know; “Everything will be okay,” he recalled at the beginning of the night that marked the change in his life. “It never, ever works like that,” he added, before continuing the story: “I never slept. I missed my first two flights home and reeked of alcohol when I arrived. My wife and I had always had an agreement that said I wasn’t allowed to play with my daughters if I smelled like alcohol, I wasn’t allowed to be near my daughters, but what really shocked me was the moment when my Youngest daughter Lyric told me that night, “You don’t smell like my dad.” And when she told me that, that was it. “I felt disgusting.”
His life has also changed professionally. He is no longer dedicated solely to music, although in addition to his sequel with the Backstreet Boys, he is preparing a solo album, which he hopes will see the light of day, at least in part, in January 2024 and will probably be signed as Alexander James. Next year he plans to start a clothing company and expand her vegan beauty brand Ava Dean, which was inspired by her daughters.
“There is a [forma de ser] “I’m sane and selfish and make my own decisions now,” he tells Page Six. “And if I make mistakes, hopefully I learn from them. I am not perfect. I don’t want to be perfect. Nobody is.”