Erasmo Carlos’s widow, Fernanda Esteves, leaves the couple’s apartment intact for a year: “The stack of newspapers is his lack”

A year after the death of Erasmo Carlos, the apartment in Leblon, South Zone of Rio de Janeiro, which the singer bought with his wife Fernanda Esteves two months before his hospitalization, is still intact. The painting she received as a gift was unpacked and sits on the floor leaning against the wall, waiting to be hung. The subscription to the newspaper O Globo, which the singer enjoyed reading every day, remained intact. But it started piling up on the living room floor every day. Fernanda did this little by little while waiting for her husband to return from the hospital, and it later became a memory.

View photos of Erasmo Carlos and Fernanda Esteves

The couple stayed together for 12 years

“Erasmo spent 36 days in the hospital and reading the newspaper was an integral part of his everyday life. It was a habit, he started the day like that. During those 36 days when he was not well, I offered him.” He gave him the newspaper and he refused. In the last week of our lives we renewed our subscription to the newspaper, and Erasmus said: “Keep the copies for a week, because I am released on Wednesday, so I will.” “Read them when I get there.” And I kept them. They arrived, I couldn’t help it, but I kept more, I put them all in a pile,” Fernanda said in an interview with TV Aparecida in a program about grief.

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Leaving the house intact was a way for the widow to find her way in life and gradually overcome her grief.

“For me, the stack of newspapers represents the absence of him. Every newspaper that is placed there is a day without him here. I can find my way into everyday life when I arrive here and the newspaper is there, my picture is closed. .. I think: ‘Erasmus is still missing, but something of him is there,’” reflected Fernanda.

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Help overcome grief

Since her lover’s departure, Fernanda has gone through several stages of grief. What irritates her most during this time are those who try to comfort her:

Fernanda Esteves, widow of Erasmo Carlos, in the apartment she bought with the singer Photo: Reproduction

“Consoling rarely helps; it irritates. We have to react, yes. Vulnerability attracts things that are not good. We have to find a way. I know that is not anyone’s intention… I know that I need to be “overcome,” “move on,” “continue with my life,” but what are the means? The recipe?”

She, who was already in therapy, met weekly with the psychologist. But in her case, she needed to supplement the help with something more:

“Grief is a lack. Stop thinking that the person will no longer be in your life. It’s almost a symptom of fear. I have a future, I have to keep living and the person is no longer in my life. I’ve been there.” In therapy I think it’s important to keep going, it helped me a lot and it got to the point where I thought I needed psychiatric help, my psychologist agreed. There is a grieving process that is more fluid and calm, but it can be a grieving process with obstacles that you may not be able to cope with, it is you alone. It is valid and essential to seek help.”

Age difference but no love

Fernanda and Erasmo got married in 2019. The two had a 12year relationship. As an educator, she was a big fan of the rocker and said in interviews that she took the first step in the relationship: “I was the one who convinced him. I had it in my head that I liked him since I was 5 years old. When I met him, I looked at him and said I had to say something, “I love you.” And he replied, “Ah, I’ve started to love you now.”

In an interview with EXTRA in 2020, Erasmo Carlos spoke about criticism of the 49year age difference between them. “I take it on my income taxes. I continue without making my private life public and I smile normally when people ask me. These things never bother me. We are vaccinated against it,” he said, who had three children.