by Marco Imarisio
A passionate motorcycle and trekking lover, he is called “the tube”, he feels like he is in the race and cannot bear to be left behind. The tragedy of the mother in the girl’s life. The obsessive messages every night since the relationship ended
How easy it is now. After that, always after that. After all, it’s our job. Going on a pilgrimage between the lives of two boys to rebuild, to look for a reason. Be careful when you find what experts call red flags, the signs that indicate danger, this is not love, it is something potentially very dangerous. This is also a way of deflecting the problem that we as men understand. The previous part of this story almost doesn’t exist.
Filippo was born in Torreglia, in the Euganean Hills, fifteen kilometers from Padua. Family of restaurateurs. Nicola and Elisabetta Turetta have been running La Cicogna in the upper part of the city for twenty years. In 2011 they sell. The father continues to work as a cook and the mother takes care of the children. Wealthy, with judgment. What was once called the middle class. The Turettas most recently lived in a multi-story condominium in the center of town. It was my grandfather’s house, who passed away two years ago. The house where Filippo grew up and to which he loved to return is still in Torreglia, but on the hills, surrounded by greenery. They have two normal cars, they are a classic or “square” family, which is how psychology books describe the group consisting of father, mother and two children. He attends the Alberti in Abano Terme, which is not an exclusive school, as it has sometimes been defined recently, but a good provincial high school. Shy and reserved, taciturn, passionate motocross and trekking fan. In 2019 he took part in an orientation course focused on routes in the Euganean Hills and the Dolomites. Otherwise there is nothing to report. Tall and thin, nicknamed “Tube” because of his appearance. He played on the local volleyball team’s youth team for three years. There is no sacred fire of sport. He is leaving the university in his third year in 2022 to concentrate on his studies. This is also a typical path for children of his age.
Giulia was born in Saonara, the last municipality in the province of Padua before Venice. Like his mother Monica Camerotto. His father Gino is the owner of a small IT company that produces software. Five employees. Family business, or almost. The Cecchettins have lived in Vigonovo for twenty years. Not far from where his family lives. Three brothers. Elena, Giulia and then D., still a minor. She attends Tito Livio in Padua, which is considered the best classical high school in Padua. Many famous students, including the future President of the Republic Giorgio Napolitano, who studied there in the two years 1941-42, were expelled from Naples due to the war. Student Giulia completes her studies with top grades. Above-average intelligence, as her professors remember her, enormous love of learning, little interest in the humanities, apart from the passion for graphic art that was inherent in her. A very simple girl, according to the prevailing memory, who had left her rebellious streak to her older sister Elena. He chooses the Faculty of Engineering and the biomedical address.
Giulia and Filippo met while studying. They start dating at the end of 2021. The above are the facts. From now on we can only weigh up isolated clues, assessments of their respective social profiles and the votes after the fact. It’s not an equal relationship. Happens. Giulia has other things on her mind. We’ve all seen the photo of her hugging her mother. That’s two drops of water. Same face shape, same facial features. Monica became ill in 2016. Almost immediately the prognosis was poor. We can only imagine what those years in the life of a teenage girl were like, the slow decline of the most important person in her life and the vain hopes of not losing her. A few months before her mother’s death, after a year and a half of engagement, Giulia leaves Filippo for the first time. Perhaps he understood that this story required a commitment beyond his strength. Maybe she’s just not in love.
“Goodbye my love, I was privileged to have you as my life partner.” On October 20, 2022, Monica Camerotto passed away at the age of just 51. “Since she discovered the disease,” her husband Gino wrote on Facebook, “she fought with all her might to get out of it and stay with her family: despite the difficulties, she never gave up, she had great faith within her. “and so much strength.”
In January 2023, Giulia and Filippo will get back together. The story still ends in August. But not the presence. The company remains the same. A group of university friends united by a passion for excursions and travel, more mountains than sea. From what Elena says, her sister continues to go out with him because Filippo is sick. The episodes he recounts all come from this second phase of the relationship. The outbursts because sometimes, even after her daily goodnight message, the double gray WhatsApp check appeared on Giulia’s cell phone, as if she had been forced to have no contact with the world after the greeting. He doesn’t go out much. Giulia often goes out with her friends. Every time she is flooded with his accusatory messages. First he answers, then he stops. She goes to Padua to go shopping. He offers to accompany her. No thanks. He shows up at the bus stop anyway.
Filippo asks her to slow down the pace of the exams so he can catch up. It’s not bad, it’s just faster. Yet he acts as if it were a two-horse race. A competition, not a relationship. Here too. The promise/threat of suicide in the event of neglect, repeated should she decide to distance herself from him, even if they had become mere “friends” again. “He was dependent on her, he had no other sources of joy in life.” But the sources of joy can be found,” says Elena. Philip didn’t want to get well. He didn’t seek help. He wanted everything to go back to the way he had decided. What Giulia wanted or said didn’t matter at all.
It wasn’t violence in the true sense, Elena also recognizes that. But when there is control, when there is obsession, there is overwhelm. We say it, everyone says it now. Maybe Giulia didn’t notice, maybe she thought she knew him. Friday, a day before the final day, she and Filippo go to the Gourmetteria on Via Zabarella in the heart of Padua to book their graduation party. They decide everything together. Appetizers, bottles, number of guests and table layout. Double layer. About fifteen relatives at lunchtime. Friends at dinner. They smiled and joked, says the restaurateur.
Unfortunately the ending is known. Only Filippo Turetta can say what happened between Friday afternoon and Saturday night. What did he and Giulia say to each other, whether intentionally or not? Everything else, “he didn’t even have the courage to kill himself”, the phrases on social media, even the general expressions of condolence are background noise. Even the article you read below, because talking about “red flags” by stringing together the facts already means shifting the focus to compassion, to sharing concerns, and not to real responsibility. This tragedy, indeed this umpteenth terrible crime, hurts even more because it was committed by a 22-year-old boy, a boy who belongs to a new generation that we imagine has been cleansed by a man -dominated and toxic culture, permeated by a new way of understanding relationships between women and men. That is not the case yet. The registry office has nothing to do with it. Let’s start again from this cliff. From our rubble. We can’t do anything else. Once again.
Corriere della Sera is also on WhatsApp. Just click here to subscribe to the channel and stay up to date.
November 20, 2023 (modified November 20, 2023 | 06:42)
© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED