Slow Horses (Apple TV+)
The Murder of Lyn Dawson (Sky Crime)
She could be Jane Bond, or Jemima, even Janine… but the next star to play Agent 007 has to be female. If we leave it to people, the world is doomed.
Male spies are losers, according to the high-octane spy comedy “Slow Horses.” They can hardly be trusted to cross the street, let alone spot a doppelganger.
But every woman is born to be Bond – lightning-fast reactions, ruthless wit, over-the-top sex drive. Kristin Scott Thomas as MI5 chief Diana frets about an unhappy male subordinate: “I want you to keep walking until you get to the sea, and when you get there, keep walking with your mouth open.”
Ice-cold agent Louisa (Rosalind Eleazar) snags an eager suitor for sex in a bar by telling him to sit still until she’s ready to drag him into bed. The next morning she throws him out of her apartment because he dared to raid her refrigerator: the cheeky idiot never suspects that she keeps her stash of diamonds there.
Later, she stops a community worker from impounding a car by smashing his tow truck with a crowbar. The bully in the high-visibility vest is so limp with shock that he’s afraid to even call the police.
Male spies are losers, according to the high-octane spy comedy “Slow Horses.” They can hardly be trusted to cross the street, let alone spot a doppelganger
Now in its third season and based on the best-selling novels by Mick Herron, the tone switches from action to slapstick and back again, so any thrill risks being undermined by cheap laughs (Picture: Gary Oldman)
And little secret agent Shirley (Aimee-Ffion Edwards) beats a sleazy colleague so hard that he doesn’t regain consciousness for three scenes.
The contrast to the chaps couldn’t be more extreme. Some are thugs and henchmen, others are lecherous perverts. But the rest is even worse.
Jack Lowden plays River Cartwright, a man as wet as his name. He can’t even carry a box of files down the stairs without the bottom falling out.
His boss is Jackson Lamb (Gary Oldman), a disheveled drunk whose idea of personal hygiene is lathering himself with Fairy Liquid at the office sink while a cigarette dangles from his bottom lip.
Now in its third season and based on the best-selling novels by Mick Herron, the tone switches from action to slapstick and back again, so any thrills risk being undermined by cheap laughs.
In the first double episode we see car chases, boat chases and breathtaking races on escalators or through underground complexes – but these can end at any time when one spy stumbles into another and both are sent flying through the air.
It is saved from utter farce by a stylish depiction of London as a dirty city where contacts spill secrets to their handlers on plastic chairs in East End laundromats and targets are bundled into cars by assassins under railway tunnels.
There are strong echoes of The Ipcress File, although a Slow Horses version would probably have starred Marti Caine and not Michael.
The surfer’s paradise of Sydney’s Northern Beaches in Australia is in every way a world away from dirty London. They are also the setting for one of the world’s most closely investigated enforced disappearances, thanks to the global success of a 2018 podcast called “Teacher’s Pet.”
This audio series led to the reopening of a murder hunt and the eventual conviction of former teacher Chris Dawson for the murder of his wife Lyn, whose body was never found (Pictured: Chris and Lyn with their eldest daughter)
The surfer’s paradise of Sydney’s Northern Beaches in Australia is in every way a world away from dirty London.
They are also the setting for one of the world’s most closely investigated enforced disappearances, thanks to the global success of a 2018 podcast called “Teacher’s Pet.”
This audio series led to the resumption of a murder hunt and the eventual conviction of former teacher Chris Dawson for the murder of his wife Lyn, whose body was never found.
“The Murder Of Lyn Dawson” rehashes the story at a rapid pace, galloping through the twists and turns and leaving us little time to process the shocks that made the podcast so addictive.
It also obscures the identity of the 16-year-old babysitter who was seduced by Dawson – an odd decision since her name was used throughout the podcast. For true crime lovers, the clips from Dawson’s home video are interesting, but this remake feels rather pointless.