This is us
family meeting
Season 6 Episode 16
Editor’s Rating 5 Stars *****
Photo Credit: NBC/Ron Batzdorff/NBC
You just had to play this song, didn’t you? This song! That goddamn song “You’re gonna cry ugly while sliding down a wall” (or we’re gonna die trying to make you cry ugly while sliding down a wall). Sometimes This Is Us just can’t help it, you know? By my count, this is the third time the show has used the sadness bomb that is the Cinematic Orchestra’s “To Build a Home” — it was also used when the crockpot decided to murder Jack and when we learned that Jack had an unfulfilled dream build this house next to the cabin so kevin built it instead and oh my god i tear myself up just thinking about those two montages because that’s what this song does to you and this is us know it.
I’m not surprised This Is Us refused to go out without that Pavlovian tearjerker one last time, but it’s not like this episode needed any help getting the waterworks going. It’s been seven days since Miguel died and the Pearson Brood are still meeting at the Big House to find out what happens next with Rebecca’s foster. When Rebecca sat her three children together to discuss their wishes, including for their children not to put their lives on hold for her and for Kate to become their guardian when Miguel dies, they knew it wasn’t going to be as easy as all three of them just accept these wishes. Did you meet these people? As Beth puts it in this episode, the Pearson trial always involves a wealth of emotion and speech. Those feelings and talk come out in full force after Miguel’s death and the fact that the Big Three are forced to accept how much their mother has deteriorated.
Randall and Kevin are having the alpha male quarrel that everyone knew they would have (especially their wives, who are waiting for that meeting in the dressing room along with Philip, but correctly naming every aspect of it) as both want to believe that they know what’s best for their mother: Randall doesn’t want to leave Rebecca alone in this house even with full-time nurses and thinks they should let her move into his house in Philly; Kevin thinks this goes against all of Rebecca’s wishes, which included building her this house to live in and not sacrificing large chunks of her life for her, which Senator Pearson would have to do to even be there. Meanwhile, Kate, who was supposed to be making the decision, doesn’t say much, as Randall points out. She willingly lets her brothers dominate the conversation, as is customary.
Two things are at play here, emphasized by a whole series of flashbacks to moments between Rebecca and her children throughout their lives. The first is that these ding-dongs may be adults, but they still treat each other like they’re the same person they grew up with. It flashes back a month after Jack’s death when Kevin takes his siblings to get drunk at a party. When Randall overhears some guys talking about taking advantage of Kate, he gets into a fistfight with them. Kevin is the irresponsible drunk, Kate can’t take care of herself and Randall has to shoulder the burden. At one point, his mom even says, “Thank god for you.” And that’s how Randall saw himself the whole time, isn’t it? He has to take over Rebecca’s care, because who else can? Well, thank God for Beth, as she points out that Randall constantly underestimates his siblings, that they’re not the same people they were when they were 18.
The most revealing part of this flashback, however, is Kate’s conversation with Rebecca, where she tells her mom that she has “two winners and one dud” for kids, and that’s actually not a bad last percentage to end with. You can see it on Rebecca’s face — the heartbreak she feels hearing her daughter talk about herself like that. In another throwback to when the kids were little and Kate hadn’t lost any of her baby teeth yet, Rebecca tells her she’s just a late bloomer and that one day she’ll “leave them all in the dust.” Kate has never seen herself the way her mother sees her. That’s why she was so surprised to have been appointed her guardian at all. Surprisingly, it takes a quick chat with Toby to help Kate see all of this. She checks in with her ex about the kids and tells him how the talks are going, and he tells her he’s never understood why when she’s around her brothers, she’s “an insecure version of [herself].’ Kate – who appears to be helping to design an arts curriculum for California – is no jerk, and she shouldn’t pretend her opinion doesn’t matter on The Senator Brother and The Celebrity Brother.
The second thing that makes this episode so good with its flashbacks is to illustrate what it feels like to see your parents sick and vulnerable. the mindfuck role reversal that occurs when you have to take care of your parents like they once took care of you. Over and over, the episode of Rebecca tying someone’s shoes, or feeding her kids, or cleaning them, or watching over them while they sleep to make sure they’re okay, cuts to scenes where her now-grown kids are doing the same things do you. Holy hell I felt these scenes in my bones. I suspect a lot of people will be watching. This Is Us can romanticize grief at times, but when you’re dealing with seeing your parents that way, it’s pretty damn real. At some point I had to take a break! This show draws you in with its warm visual tones and abundance of people with great hair, and then it stings your heart!
Here neither Kevin nor Randall can really look at their mother. You can talk about her all day, but you can’t talk to her. They even hesitate to touch them. “That’s not our mother, Kev. Our mom was magical,” Randall says at one point. It is Kate who is able to take care of Rebecca the way she needs it now. She takes her for walks and reads to her, and if she insists on wearing her makeup wildly, Kate can still tell her how pretty she looks while her brothers just stare at her, disappointed in what happened. They talk about how their mother always kind of knew what each of them needed individually, but here it seems only Kate is trying to do the same for Rebecca.
Before Kate decides what she thinks they should do in the future, she wants her brothers to be able to look at their mother, touch her and give her what she really needs. She lets Randall brush Rebecca’s hair and let Kevin put hand lotion on her. That shot of the three kids tending to Rebecca on the edge of the bed? I’m not going to cry about it later in the shower or anything. Many of the Big Three’s arguments about what’s best for their mother are rooted, as Randall notes, in their “deep need” to somehow repay her for everything she’s done for her. So Randall wants to come in and be the hero to her; That’s why Kevin built her this house. But you can repay her by taking care of her in these small — these are really big — ways, too. Kate helps them see that.
Kate rallies the troops for a second family reunion, this time with spouses Nicky and Edie, and Madison and Elijah (the attraction this family has on everyone even remotely around! Elijah just wanted to be in a nerdy fantasy book club be! ). She tells them that she’s thought about it and Randall is right, that Rebecca can’t stay in this house alone, but that moving her to Philly isn’t right either. She wants to move to Los Angeles with her, where she will either find her a good facility or she will live with Kate and Philip. While Kevin is 100 percent willing to support whatever Kate decides, he does want to offer another option: He and Sophie have discussed it, and they want to move into the Big House permanently and take care of Rebecca. Manny’s reboot is coming to an end, Sophie hates Los Angeles (plus, she’s a nurse, which no one seems to call helpful), Madison and Elijah have been wanting to move to the East Coast for a while so Kevin doesn’t have to be so far away from his kids, and Nicky and Edie want to live in the cabin so they would have extra help. That way, they could fulfill their mother’s wishes exactly the way she wanted. Kate is on board. Kevin looks Randall straight in the eye and says, “I know you think I’m not ready for this, but I am.” He knows how much of a jerk he’s been to his mother for a long time, and he wants that for Do you. In a really wild twist on This Is Us, Kevin Pearson was Kevin Pearson the whole time!! What a world! Randall shakes his hand and thanks him. The Big Three hold hands. Beth gets a second batch of walnut shrimp. we all cry
And then the song begins. To Build a Home is set about a montage that races through the next few years. Kevin’s plan turns out to be the best option for everyone. We see how they all care for Rebecca in different ways, and flashbacks to how she cares for them in those ways too. Then we finally land right in front of that big future flash-forward that we’ve been visiting for the last few seasons. Kevin calls Randall and tells him that they should all come over to the house because Rebecca doesn’t have long. The Pearsons are gathering, folks! The Pearsons are gathering!
• No, Philip is right: Beth and Sophie should definitely take their husbands’ impressions on tour. You’re so good! We should have gotten these all along!
• Beth says she found her old bottle of Tommy Girl perfume in the bathroom because that cubicle is a time capsule and if you know, you know!!
• In one of the flashbacks, baby Kate falls out of bed and Rebecca panics and calls Dr. K. on. She leaves him a message and we don’t hear back about it (Kate is fine, Rebecca watches her sleep all night), but do we think we need one last Dr. Get a K gig before this thing ends? Will someone talk about lemons again? My fragile heart cannot bear the thought.
• “Beth said all this sadness calls for some carbs.” Truer words have never been spoken.
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