Mackenzie Phillips looks back on her complicated relationship with her father, John Phillips.
Phillips, who discussed her incestuous relationship with John in her memoir “High on Arrival,” reflected on her father’s “dark side” in an interview with her sister and Wilson Phillips singer Chynna Phillips published Wednesday.
“Obviously he’s a great songwriter and, you know, I loved his laugh, and yet Dad had this whole other side that was, I mean, kind of like a monster,” Chynna told Phillips. “He was so dark and you just didn’t know who you were going to get. It was very unpredictable.”
Phillips’ “High on Arrival” was released in 2009 and told the story of Phillips’ “bizarre” childhood as the privileged daughter of rock star John Phillips of The Mamas & the Papas and a life full of excess, drugs and few rules. Phillips’ revelation of an incestuous relationship with her father was a lightning rod that generated major media interest and backlash.
“Dad was something else,” Phillips told her sister. “And I get a lot of criticism and a lot of online trolling because I have forgiveness in my heart. Forgiveness because forgiveness is for me, not for the other person. And forgiveness doesn’t mean that I sign or agree with who I am.” Forgiving him.”
She added: “It’s very, very complicated. And yet I am at peace.”
In an interview with Oprah Winfrey in 2016, Phillips said she did not expect to lose her family’s support after revealing her father’s sexual abuse. “I felt like they would love me no matter what,” Phillips said.
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During their meeting, Chynna praised Phillips for having the courage to speak out about her trauma, despite the turmoil it may have caused.
“I want you to know that when I stood by you, I meant it with all my heart. I really did,” Chynna said. “I believed you and I want you to know that I was proud of you for coming out, even if it was painful for everyone.”
If you are a victim of sexual assault, RAINN offers support through the National Sexual Assault Hotline (800.656.HOPE & online.rainn.org).
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Contributor: Bill Keveney, USA TODAY