When it comes to nativity scenes, it could hardly be more modern, courageous and touching. Doting couple Emily Patrick and Kerry Osborn are pregnant with each other's babies and are due to give birth within weeks.
In a groundbreaking case, the first of its kind in the UK, the women swapped embryos during IVF treatment – both were fertilized by the same sperm donor.
Now Emily, 38, a creative producer, will give birth to a son in the New Year, who is Kerry's biological son. Schoolteacher Kerry, 35, will follow in February and give birth to a baby boy grown from Emily's egg.
Uniquely, this means that both women will be pregnant at the same time and will give birth to two sons – with one boy carrying the DNA of one mother after being born from the other, and vice versa carrying the DNA of his sibling.
“We wanted a family where we both felt deeply physically and emotionally connected to each other’s babies,” says Emily. “There was no blueprint for it, but it made sense to us.”
“In a heterosexual couple, both parents are involved in the creation of their child.” We can’t do that. But we can be equal mothers to both sons. They will have the same father and we will be their mothers in different but equally profound and loving ways.
“Previously we wondered if we would ever consider that the baby we were carrying was not our own biological child. But feeling a child grow inside you is such a physical and emotional experience that there is no way it is “yours.”
Doting couple Emily Patrick (right) and Kerry Osborn (left) are pregnant with each other's babies and are due to give birth within weeks. Pictured: They hold their baby scans
In a groundbreaking case, the first of its kind in the UK, the women swapped embryos during IVF treatment – both were fertilized by the same sperm donor
Now Emily, 38, a creative producer, will give birth to a son in the New Year, who is Kerry's biological son. Pictured: Emily holding her baby scan
Schoolteacher Kerry, 35, will follow in February and give birth to a baby boy grown from Emily's egg. Pictured: Kerry holding her baby scan
This means that both women are pregnant at the same time and raising two sons. Pictured: Together with her retired greyhound Dotty
A boy carries the DNA of one mother after being born from the other, and vice versa in his sibling
As Emily talks, Kerry's son, who is just a few weeks away from his due date, is kicking vigorously under her maternity jeans.
Kerry continues: “It's a privilege to be pregnant with Emily's baby.” There was no big conversation, it just felt natural to us to do this amazing thing with and for the person you love most.
“We recognize that this type of reciprocal IVF would not have been an option just a few years ago.” It was much more difficult to be gay parents. It says a lot about how widely the opinion has evolved that not only can we do this, but that so many people in the LGBTQ+ community are now following our progress and thinking about doing it too.
“We don't feel like pioneers, but I hope that in some ways we are and that one day soon this will be seen as normal.”
“The only people I really wanted to tell were my grandparents, and all they can think about is how within eight weeks they will be great-grandparents to not one, but two babies.”
The private procedure cost the women an estimated £25,000, including purchasing sperm from an anonymous donor – an American of Dutch and German descent. Because he donated at a British clinic, under British law the boys have the right to know his identity when they turn 18, which Emily and Kerry welcome.
“Curiosity about where you come from is normal and natural. Boys should definitely have the right to know who their father is and what he is like,” says Kerry. “I don’t think there’s anything to lose, but if they find out about the other half of themselves, they have everything to gain.”
Emily adds: “We plan to be open and honest with our children from the start. Let's face it: once they realize they have two mothers, they will suspect someone else was involved.”
As Emily talks, Kerry's son, who is just weeks away from his due date, is kicking violently under her maternity jeans
The couple's most pressing issue today is the fact that they will soon have two newborns in the pretty all-white double nursery they have created in the Victorian house in Gosport, Hampshire
The private procedure cost the women an estimated £25,000, including purchasing sperm from an anonymous donor – an American of Dutch and German descent
Because he donated at a British clinic, under British law the boys have the right to know his identity when they turn 18, which Emily and Kerry welcome
The couple's most pressing issue today is the fact that they will soon have two newborns in the pretty all-white double nursery they have set up in the Victorian house in Gosport, Hampshire, which they share with their retired greyhound Dotty.
So far they have only agreed on the name of their firstborn. They also wonder what to call themselves since only one of them can be “Mom.”
“Maybe it’s mom and mom, or maybe mom and mom,” Emily says.
Their house, they say, looks like a laundry because piles of used baby wax grow with every wash. It also looks like a hardware store, as there's a twin stroller, twin beds and a pair of capsule car seats lying around – in various states of assembly.
In short, they are as excited and worried as any other first-time parents, but are aware that the upcoming birth of their sons will be celebrated as a milestone in the history of IVF. Neither Emily nor Kerry have ever struggled with their sexuality. Emily knew she was gay when she was a teenager and came out to her supportive parents when she was 16. Kerry was at university studying to be a teacher when she realized she was a lesbian and came out to her equally accepting family.
They first met on the dating site Tinder in January 2017. Emily had been working in New Zealand for a decade and Kerry was visiting.
Despite living in the same country, they were too far apart to meet in person, but began an old-fashioned long-distance courtship, corresponding for four months before they finally met. When they first met, Emily knelt holding a cute ring while Kerry held a bottle of champagne.
They have been together ever since, traveling extensively throughout Southeast Asia and New Zealand before settling in Gosport a year ago. Now their extraordinary pregnancies together seal a love story that has lasted six years.
Their house, they say, looks like a laundry because piles of used baby wax grow with every wash
It also looks like a hardware store, as there's a twin stroller, twin beds and a pair of capsule car seats lying around – in various states of assembly
So far they have only agreed on the name of their firstborn. They also wonder what to call themselves since only one of them can be “Mom.”
“We were actually pretty much married within two weeks,” Kerry says, and they both laugh and roll their eyes. “It snowed quickly,” Emily agrees.
Kerry was always the more motherly of the two – she knew she wanted children, while Emily hadn't thought about it before they got together. As they discussed their future during the long hours of lockdown, they agreed on the idea of creating a family in which they could be both biological and pregnant mothers.
Kerry says: “There was no big ceremony, it was a Thursday evening and we started searching the sperm banks.” The problem is that once you start you can't stop, there's so much to choose from. “We chose a man our age who had two children and was donating for altruistic reasons – there were people in his family who struggled with infertility and he wanted to help others.”
The couple was able to examine his handwriting, a picture of him when he was around eight years old, and listen to a recording of his voice.
“We know what he does for a living, what his hobbies are, what his likes and dislikes are and how his family history goes back to his grandfather’s generation,” says Kerry. “We even know he has long limbs and high cheekbones!”
“In short, we know enough to tell our sons what qualities they inherited from their father.”
Making the final selection was, Kerry admits, “incredibly difficult.”
“You're not doing it for yourself,” she explains, “you're doing it for your children and their future.” “We wanted a donor who looked a little like both of us – but his health was our biggest concern.”
In short, they are as excited and worried as any other first-time parents, but are aware that the upcoming birth of their sons will be celebrated as a milestone in the history of IVF
They first met on the dating site Tinder in January 2017. Emily had been working in New Zealand for a decade and Kerry was visiting. Pictured: In Queenstown, New Zealand
Despite living in the same country, they were too far apart to meet in person, but began an old-fashioned long-distance courtship, corresponding for four months before they finally met
The entire process of fertilization and implantation was carried out in accordance with the rules of the Human Fertilization and Embryology Authority, the UK's independent regulator.
This means that Emily and Kerry's sons are entitled to view their father's full profile when they turn 16. At 18, they can then ask for his name, date and place of birth, and last address in order to contact him if they wish. The donor made it clear that he was happy about it. Emily and Kerry began IVF in September 2021. They underwent a baseline scan of their ovaries to ensure they met their clinic's age and body mass index (BMI) criteria. In July last year, after receiving daily injections to stimulate their ovaries for a fortnight, their eggs were simultaneously removed.
Emily produced 15 eggs and Kerry 14. All were fertilized with her donor's frozen sperm, resulting in five embryos for Emily and seven for Kerry.
The women had their embryos transferred into each other's uteruses in April, but while Emily became pregnant with Kerry's embryo, Kerry was not pregnant. It briefly derailed their plan.
“It was bittersweet for me,” admits Kerry, “but I wasn't devastated.” How could I be? “My baby was growing inside Emily.”
The couple had realistically assessed the likelihood of failure for one or both of them – in fact, they had only taken a pregnancy test together because it was a holiday and they wanted to go out for a beer.
“Most people get pregnant when they go out – but that's not the case with a lesbian couple,” says Emily.
Eight weeks later, after a second implantation, Kerry also had a positive pregnancy test.
The entire process of fertilization and implantation was carried out in accordance with the rules of the Human Fertilization and Embryology Authority, the UK's independent regulator
They traveled extensively throughout Southeast Asia and New Zealand before settling in Gosport a year ago. Now their extraordinary pregnancies together seal a love story that has lasted six years
“We cried for happiness,” they say.
Emily adds: “We knew we would never regret doing it this way.” If we had chosen the cheaper and less complicated option of carrying our own babies, there could always have been a moment when “We asked ourselves, 'What if?' Instead, it's exactly what we hoped for.”
Since Kerry got through her pregnancy without any problems, Emily has been suffering from nausea and dizziness. “In the early stages I was unconscious, I had carpal tunnel syndrome in my wrists and my feet were the size of Shrek’s,” she says.
“Of course I told Kerry I should have kept my own baby because he seemed a lot more relaxed,” Emily jokes.
“Yeah, I’m glad she has mine,” Kerry adds.
In October, they held a “gender reveal” party, where Emily's sister found out the genders and filled two water guns, one for each expectant mother. It wasn't until Emily and Kerry were both dripping with blue water after splashing each other that they realized they were both having sons. Fittingly, both women are hoping for a water birth.
They accept that some people may disagree with what they do, but believe that the strength of their relationship – and the security of the home they are preparing for their children – will silence any criticism. Emily says: “We are waiting for a negative response, there is still homophobia out there but we are confident we can deal with it.”
“We do this for ourselves, and when we become a kind of role model for others, we are happy about that too.” “IVF was a taboo topic, but it shouldn't be, and we hope we can be part of that conversation.”
Emily and Kerry began IVF in September 2021. They underwent a baseline scan of their ovaries to ensure they met their clinic's age and body mass index (BMI) criteria
As new mothers, the couple hope to continue exploring the British Isles in the 15-seater minibus they converted into a motorhome
They do not expect any further legal formalities. Kerry says: “We have signed consent forms every step of the way – this is not the same as adoption or surrogacy.” “Both our names will appear on the birth certificate as parents of both boys and the embryos we are still storing are ours, not ours me or Kerry.”
They will donate the remaining embryos to medical research once they are sure they do not want to have any more children. Kerry says: “We can only have our family because someone, somewhere, helped us in the past.” “We are so grateful that being altruistic now is the right thing for us to do.”
As new mothers, the couple hope to continue exploring the British Isles in the 15-seater minibus they converted into a motorhome. They also want to get married as they have put their wedding plans on hold to focus on having children. Both women wear promise rings, although Emily's fingers have become so swollen that she had to remove hers. Later this year they will travel to New Zealand with their sons to celebrate in the country where they met.
“People are afraid to step out of their comfort zone with children – but we've had to do things a little differently and we're not going to stop now,” says Emily. “It will be so nice to see each other as mothers and finally be a family.”