The news that the Princess of Wales was in hospital recovering from abdominal surgery reminded me of a morning about 15 years ago.
I had just dropped the kids off at school and was about to walk the dog before work when I suddenly felt unexplained nausea. This wasn't an entirely unfamiliar feeling – I'd been taking it on and off for a few months. I also had a dull stomach ache, which again wasn't unusual.
I just put it down to fatigue. So I fobbed the dog off with a treat and sat at my desk with a hot water bottle, hoping it would subside.
It has not. The pain in my stomach increased.
I was also quite hot and had turned an unflattering shade of grey-green.
The news that the Princess of Wales was in hospital recovering from abdominal surgery reminded me of a morning about 15 years ago
Prince William leaves the London Clinic after visiting Catherine, Princess of Wales on Thursday
I called my family doctor (a wonderful woman who is unfortunately now retired) and she told me to come into the office immediately (those were the days, right?). After a few seconds of insistence, she said, “That's what I thought.” It's appendicitis. “You need to go straight to the hospital.”
'Are you sure?' I asked. “I have to pick up the kids in an hour and I still have a lot to do.” I’m also supposed to be hosting a dinner tonight….”
She gave me a withering look. 'Hospital! Now!' She even called me an ambulance.
When I got there the diagnosis was confirmed and I was booked in for a quick operation. In the meantime I was given some very good painkillers. After a while I started to feel a little better and, fearful that things were falling apart at home, I decided that maybe I wasn't that sick after all. So I put on my shoes and waddled outside to find a taxi.
The young anesthetist who was supposed to prepare me for the operation found me there. “Where the hell are you going?” he said. I then mumbled something about being terribly busy. Very gently, as if he were dealing with a madman, he took me by the elbow and led me back into the house.
It turned out my appendix was a mess and it took the surgeons several hours to take care of it. I was lucky, they said, that it didn't burst. I was gently reprimanded for ignoring the signs and we all laughed at my attempt to escape.
It took a good week before I was well enough to go home, and at least another week in bed before I felt somewhat human again.
But in some ways it was one of the best things that ever happened to me.
I was in my 40s, with two small children, a full-time job, a busy, often-absent husband in a very high-profile role – and I was empty and spinning way too many plates. I wasn't taking care of myself, I wasn't getting enough sleep, and my diet was terrible. No wonder I got sick. In fact, I sometimes wonder if developing appendicitis wasn't my body's way of saying, “Enough is enough, woman, we need a break.” Looking back, I think I just pfft.
It turned out my appendix was a mess and it took the surgeons several hours to take care of it. I was lucky, they said, that it didn't burst. I was gently reprimanded for ignoring the signs and we all laughed at my attempt to escape
And I'm not alone. I have many friends who have experienced the same thing, in different ways. One had a hip replaced and another had her gallbladder removed. We've all had various chunks and lumps removed, and we can all agree that as horrible as these things are, part of us is just relieved to be able to sleep in again.
Call it gallows humor, but we joke that it's what every busy working wife and mother needs from time to time: a non-fatal hospital stay, or NFH. Just enough to knock you out for a few weeks, but not enough to actually finish you off.
And long enough for those in your life who take everything you do for granted to appreciate you just a little bit more. This usually happens around the same time that they run out of clean socks.
I have no idea what's wrong with the princess, and whatever it is, I wish her a full recovery. But given everything she's been through lately and the enormous pressure on her, I'd say a NFH is long overdue.
I definitely have fond memories of my week at St Mary's Hospital in Paddington. Admittedly, it wasn't quite the London Clinic that Kate is at, and I've reliably heard from friends who have stayed there that it's a bit like staying at Claridge's. But despite the mixed station and noisy neighbors, I was relieved not to have to be responsible for everyone and everything was just as relaxing as a luxury spa vacation.
And if I felt under unbearable pressure back then, God knows how Kate must feel. Not only is she constantly on parade, but so are her three children, and the observation is intense. She has to be the perfect wife and mother, fulfill her duties as an important member of the royal family and of course always look like she just came out of the salon.
Oh, but she's got lots of help, I hear you say. Naturally. But she also has a lot to do. And just because someone has help doesn't mean life is necessarily a walk in the park.
If I felt under unbearable pressure back then, God knows how Kate must feel. Not only is she constantly on parade, but so are her three children, and the observation is intense. She has to be the perfect wife and mother, fulfill her duties as an important member of the royal family and of course always look like she just came out of the salon
It's clear that the Princess is a very involved mother who is doing her best to ensure that George, Charlotte and Louis live as normal a family life as possible given the circumstances.
It's also clear that, like many high-functioning women, she is something of a perfectionist. I can't imagine she'll be too lenient.
So if I were the princess, barring the need for surgery, I would enjoy this time off. Have fun with your NFH. Let everyone else handle everything in life for once and just focus on getting better.
Because, believe me, everything will still be there, waiting for you when you get out.
My phone broke yesterday. Broken. Like the proverbial parrot, he has ceased to exist. Even the efforts of several teenagers and a patient IT guy have failed to revive it, meaning I am currently not human. If someone could explain how this represents progress I would be grateful.
The case of banning prayer is outrageous
Katharine Birbalsingh, head of 'Britain's most rigorous school', may not be to everyone's taste, but there is no denying that her methods work and provide unprecedented opportunities for students from disadvantaged backgrounds. It is therefore outrageous that a student is suing over her decision to introduce a prayer ban after teachers were subjected to “horrendous” racial harassment. Even worse, the student receives legal aid at the taxpayer's expense. Not only could this money help other disadvantaged young people, but why couldn't one of London's Muslim schools accept this student?
Furthermore, I am sure that one of the millions of Muslim girls in countries where women are excluded from education would be happy to take her place.
Katharine Birbalsingh, head of 'Britain's most rigorous school', may not be to everyone's taste, but there is no denying that her methods work and provide unprecedented opportunities for students from disadvantaged backgrounds
Too graphic, Emma!
To my ever-growing list of “movies not to watch with daughter and boyfriend” (hers, not mine, of course) I've added the Oscar darling “Poor Things,” starring Emma Stone. It pretty much put me off buying my family pack of fruit pastilles. For a film billed as a satire on the “male gaze” and the objectification of women, it contains an excessive number of graphic and uncomfortable sex scenes. You have been warned!
To my ever-growing list of “movies not to watch with daughter and boyfriend” (hers, not mine, of course) I've added the Oscar darling “Poor Things,” starring Emma Stone
● As Prince Harry discovered, being a little liberal with executive orders can have unintended consequences. Namely, that he reportedly had to fork out £750,000 in legal costs for his failed libel bid against this newspaper. That's a lot, even by Montecito standards. If he hadn't angered him so much, his father might have been willing to help. It looks like someone needs to get a job…
Job cuts in the name of net zero? THANK YOU GRETA
The Port Talbot steelworks, across the bay where I was born, is set to cut 2,500 jobs in the name of Net Zero.
Instead, we source our steel from China, which is approving new coal-fired power projects at the rate of two power plants per week.
But look on the bright side: Greta and her friends will be thrilled.
● While ministers in the House of Lords fight against the Rwanda Bill, why not put everyone convicted of people smuggling on the deportation list? That could make them think twice before risking lives in the freezing waters of the English Channel. Not even Gary Lineker would object to that, would he?
● As someone who invariably orders a “large” glass of wine (let's be honest, anything else is just a false economy), I laughed at Cambridge scientists' discovery that offering smaller quantities could help people consume less alcohol. Yes, exactly. If you're like me, you'll just order a whole bottle instead.