39SNL39 Wonders What Men Will Do After Football Season Ends

'SNL' Wonders What Men Will Do After Football Season Ends

The Super Bowl may still be two weeks away, but as far as Saturday Night Live is concerned, this is your last weekend to experience authentic NFL football.

This latest “SNL” broadcast, hosted by Dakota Johnson and featuring musical guest Justin Timberlake, began with a parody of CBS' coverage of the AFC Championship Game between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Baltimore Ravens, starring Andrew Dismukes and James Austin Johnson hosts Tony Romo and Jim Nantz.

Dismukes began with some enthusiasm for the game: “We have talent from two generations at quarterback,” he said. “Two elite defenses. I expect it to be a tough fight over the next three hours.” Then a touch of emotion crept in as he added, “And after that it's all over.”

“Everywhere?” Johnson asked.

“Football,” Dismukes said. “After today, it’s easy – it’s done.”

Yes, there is the Super Bowl, but as Dismukes said, “That’s not real football. The Super Bowl is for commercials and ushers and people who never watch football and ask how many points a touchdown is worth. Today is the last real day of football just for us.”

The rest of the CBS broadcast team tried to come to terms with this possibility. “What are men supposed to do on Sundays now?” asked Mikey Day, who played analyst Bill Cowher. “Just go to their friends’ houses for no reason?”

He noted that football is the last televised event that all of America still watches.

A smile crossed the face of Kenan Thompson, who played commentator James Brown, as he replied: “Especially live. There is no other live television that you can even remotely watch.”

Devon Walker, who played Nate Burleson, said: “Our entire country is upside down. People are upset about “Barbie” being snubbed? What about “Yellowstone”? No Emmy nominations?”

Michael Longfellow, who plays Phil Simms, agreed: “'Yellowstone' is our 'Barbie,'” he said.

Day added: “And I really understand that Margot Robbie was snubbed. But – sorry – but they're after Gosling? “Ken” was the first time I felt like I was being seen in a movie.”

It's been more than 20 years since “SNL” introduced “The Barry Gibb Talk Show,” a recurring sketch for then-cast member Jimmy Fallon (who played the Bee Gees' theme singer) and Timberlake, a frequent guest (who played his sibling pal played). , Robin Gibb). And it's been more than a decade since the segment was last performed, in a 2013 episode hosted by Fallon, in which Madonna and Barry Gibb themselves both appeared in cameo appearances.

While this would have been a fitting swansong for “The Barry Gibb Talk Show,” rest assured that the sketch remains alive. From the moment Fallon showed up in Dakota Johnson's monologue wearing his full Barry Gibb regalia, it seemed inevitable that he would return to embody the singer's signature staccato falsetto and that Timberlake would appear as a shy incarnation of Robin would sit next to him. If you're over 30 and have ever watched The Barry Gibb Talk Show, rest assured it's the same sketch you know and love, now updated with jokes about Bluey and Saltburn.

In an episode that seemed largely to stay away from current events, the sketch that came closest to topicality was this one about Stanley mugs, the drinking glasses that have suddenly become more ubiquitous than Taylor Swift and the target of at least one, the very Robbery is difficult to explain.

The product featured here is Big Dumb Cups (wink wink!) and its lackluster spokeswomen, played by Dakota Johnson, Chloe Fineman and Heidi Gardner, go through some of its selling points: “This is the cup that says, 'I '.” “I'm a virgin, but I also have six children,” said Dakota Johnson. Fineman added, “It's the mug that says, 'My favorite rapper?' This is Kesha.'”

It's also perfect for a glass of wine from Josh Cellars, the inexpensive alcoholic beverage that we learned from this sketch is also available.

Don't be put off by the quiet and seemingly routine opening of this filmed segment. Although it begins with Dismukes as a young man watching old home movies with his humble father (Day), mother (Dakota Johnson) and grandmother (Sarah Sherman), it takes a sharp and very funny right turn when Dismukes picks up a VHS tape simply referred to as a “big announcement”.

“That was the day I found out I was going to be a dad,” Day says softly.

And in fact, it's an old episode of a Maury Povich-style daytime talk show in which younger, much more debauched incarnations of the characters argue over the results of a paternity test. The sweet little shrug that adult, matronly Dakota Johnson gives Dismukes as he stares at her younger self strutting across the stage makes the entire skit worthwhile.

Over on the Weekend Update desk, hosts Colin Jost and Michael Che discussed the outcome of the Trump-Carroll libel trial and the 2024 presidential election.

Jost began:

The jury in his defamation case ordered Donald Trump to pay writer E. Jean Carroll $83.3 million, and Trump is a billionaire, so he obviously immediately asked your grandma for five bucks. They asked Trump to pay $83 million. He's that unsympathetic. To illustrate: OJ Simpson only had to pay $33 million for a double murder.

Offscreen, Che interrupted: “He didn’t even do it.”

Jost laughed, recovered and continued:

This process must have driven Trump crazy. The judge kept telling him to shut up; the jury ordered him to pay three times what the victim demanded; Even the courtroom artist made him look like the lady whose face was torn off by a monkey. Things could only have gotten worse for Trump if they had taken away his business, which of course is the case in next week's trial.

Che took it up:

After Ron DeSantis endorsed Donald Trump, he called DeSantis “a truly great person” and promised to stop calling him Ron DeSanctimonious. Well, it's like a wise man once said:

Che played a video of DeSantis telling a crowd: “You can be the most worthless Republican in America, but if you kiss the ring, it will say you are wonderful.”

Then the screen switched back to Che, who nodded.

“Well,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.