An autistic Dutch woman has died by assisted suicide at home with her parents and best friend by her side after sharing a devastating final message to her online followers.
Lauren Hoeve from the Netherlands was diagnosed with ME, also known as chronic fatigue syndrome, in 2019.
For the past five years, the book blogger has struggled with extreme exhaustion that left her bedridden.
She also began to suffer from Post-Exertional Malaise (PEM), where she struggled with extreme nausea, pain and fatigue – which she described as “absolute torture”. Xformerly known as Twitter.
In 2022, Lauren, who was also diagnosed with ADHD, began documenting her journey to euthanasia. Euthanasia has been legal in the Netherlands for 22 years.
Pictured: Lauren Hoeve's parents confirmed she passed away peacefully last Saturday after a four-year battle with ME
On her blog Brain Fog, Lauren explained how her GP told her he respected her wish to be euthanized but could not do it himself due to her mental health.
Afterwards, Lauren was placed on the waiting list for an appointment with a euthanasia specialist, which took longer than usual due to the pandemic.
In April 2023, she met with several doctors who concluded that she was “mentally competent” to make the decision to euthanize.
Earlier this month, Lauren told her 7,800
She wrote on her blog: “I decided to post the date and time because you were all so excited to have this moment with me.” “I know from experience how supportive it can be to know when happens so you can think about it for a moment or light a candle if you want.”
On January 27, Lauren – who passed away at home – logged out of her X account by sharing a meme with her followers.
She wrote: “This will be my last tweet.” Thank you for the love, everyone. I will rest a little more and be with my loved ones. Enjoy one last morbid meme from me.'
She then posted a meme with the caption: “I'm being put to sleep,” which shows a toddler wearing sunglasses and giving a thumbs-up to the camera while a doctor smiles next to him.
Lauren thanked her 7,800 X followers for the love they had shown her and shared this “morbid” meme
Lauren Hoeve (pictured) from the Netherlands was diagnosed with ME, also known as chronic fatigue syndrome, in 2019.
What is ME and why is it so misunderstood?
Also known as ME – or myalgic encephalomyelitis – CFS can affect anyone, but is most common in women between their mid-20s and mid-40s.
The most noticeable symptom is extreme fatigue, but difficulty sleeping, joint or muscle pain, headaches, flu-like symptoms, and a fast or irregular heartbeat are also the most noticeable symptom.
Treatments include cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), specific exercises, or medications for nausea, pain, or sleep problems.
An estimated 250,000 people in the UK and one million people in the US live with the disease.
It affects their lives so much that they often spend their days in darkened rooms and cannot even watch television or listen to music.
But despite increasing evidence of the reality of ME, which affects 17 million people around the world, it remains incurable and many still think those affected are just lazy.
Lauren's post was seen by more than 1.5 million X users and was well received by followers.
One replied: “Thank you for sharing your journey to this farewell with us. And for you, the beginning of the peace you long for.”
“Wishing you a happy final few hours,” added another.
A third said: “Thinking of you and the people around you and wishing you happy final moments.”
“Have a loving final few hours,” said a fourth. “Thank you again for everything you have done for our community.”
“May you find peace,” wrote a fifth.
An update on her website confirmed: “Lauren passed away peacefully at 1.55pm in the presence of her parents Leonie and Peter and her best friend Lau.”
“We would like to thank you for your compassion and support.” Leonie, Peter and Lau.'
Lauren's mother wrote in a blog post that her “heart bleeds for her daughter.”
She wrote: “Please know that we have done everything possible to find a way out.”
“She still wanted to get so much out of life, but she doesn’t want to live to be 30, let alone 60 or 80.”
On her blog, Lauren said that she has “always felt stuck in life” due to her autism, ADHD and ME.
Before her diagnosis, Lauren enjoyed climbing and running and also trained a former service dog, who she unfortunately had to take in after her diagnosis.
She wrote on her blog: “I have constantly tried to face my fears and get out of my comfort zone.”
In her latest blog post, Lauren shared some advice with her followers that she “would have liked to hear.” [herself] in one place or another.
She wrote: “Don't be afraid to be vulnerable.” It's okay to say that you don't know something, that you haven't studied something enough (yet) to form an opinion.
“Related: It's also okay to admit when you've done something wrong.” We're all human and we're always learning. “The ability to admit mistakes is a beautiful quality that I always appreciate in people.”
In addition to encouraging her readers to “invest in a good mattress and pillow,” Lauren recommended writing down compliments or loving messages that they can refer back to when they're feeling “mentally less strong.”
Pictured: Lauren before she died of assisted suicide last week aged 28. For the past five years, the YouTube book blogger has struggled with extreme exhaustion that left her bedridden
Lauren posted this photo of her during a zoo visit before she was diagnosed with ME in 2019
Additionally, Lauren recommended keeping a journal and taking photos and videos of daily life – before adding: “Don't forget to look with your own eyes rather than always through a camera.”
Elsewhere, Lauren urged people to write down their funeral plans for their loved ones after revealing: “I designed the funeral invitations myself and I'm very proud of them.”
She also urged readers to refrain from giving unsolicited medical advice to people with chronic illnesses.
Lauren also added, “Do the things you want to do now as quickly as possible.” I got sick in the prime of my life and thought I had plenty of time, but no one has that guarantee. You never know what could happen. Don't hesitate, live!'
The law on termination of life upon request and assisted suicide was passed in April 2001 and came into force a year later.
Speaking about her decision to go down the euthanasia route, Lauren said: “The decision was made to let me go because my suffering is unbearable.”
It legalizes physician-assisted suicide in certain cases where the patient's suffering is unbearable and there is no prospect of improvement.
The patient's request for euthanasia must also be made at his own request and more than one doctor must sign the request.
In the Netherlands, the law requires euthanasia to be carried out in a “medically appropriate” manner and in the presence of a doctor.
It is not clear how Lauren's euthanasia was made possible, but it comes nearly five years after 17-year-old Noa Pothoven was legally allowed to die at home after doctors allowed her to refuse food and drink.
The Dutch teenager from Arnhem felt life had become unbearable and she could no longer carry on after being attacked and sexually abused three times when she was just 11 years old.
In a social media post the day before her death, Noa made her decision public.
She wrote: “I thought about whether or not I should share this for quite a while but decided to do it anyway.”
It has been almost four years since 17-year-old Noa Pothoven (pictured) was legally allowed to die at home after doctors allowed her to refuse food and drink
“This may come as a surprise to some given my posts on hospitalization, but my plan has been in place for a long time and is not impulsive.”
“I'll get straight to the point: I will die within 10 days maximum.” After years of fighting and fighting, I'm exhausted. “I have stopped eating and drinking for some time and after many discussions and assessments it was decided to let me go because my suffering is unbearable.”
In April 2023, it was announced that parents in the Netherlands would be able to euthanize their terminally ill children aged 12 and over, as part of plans to expand the country's existing end-of-life laws.
The Dutch government announced plans to extend euthanasia regulations to include medical assistance in dying for terminally ill children between the ages of one and 12.
The rules would apply to an estimated five to 10 children a year who suffer unbearably from their illness, have no hope of recovery and for whom palliative care cannot provide relief, the government said.
“Ending the lives of this group is the only reasonable alternative to the unbearable and hopeless suffering of the child,” the government said in a statement.
In 2017, Merryn Crofts became the second person in the United Kingdom to have her death certificate listed as ME.
Pictured: Merryn Crofts. The 21-year-old became the second person in the UK to have her death certificate recorded as ME following her death in 2017
The 21-year-old drama student spent the last years of her life bedridden and weighed just under two kilos when she tragically died.
The young man was unable to eat more than two teaspoons of food before suffering severe abdominal pain and vomiting, a coroner said.
Merryn's mother, Clare Norton, sobbed as she told Rochdale Coroner's Court how her “beautiful” and “energetic” daughter was confined to a wheelchair and reliant on tube feeding.
In August 2011, then 15-year-old Merryn was diagnosed with hives and swelling shortly after returning from a family holiday in Mallorca.
Tests in early 2012 revealed that at some point she had become infected with glandular fever – a virus that can cause ME.
Despite dozens of medical appointments – including mental health assessments for panic attacks – Merryn's condition worsened as she suffered breathing problems, fatigue and an agonizing hypersensitivity to touch, light and sound.
She was finally diagnosed with ME in the summer of 2012.
Dame Esther Rantzen (pictured in summer 2020) announced earlier this month that she had joined euthanasia clinic Dignitas
In December 2023, it was reported that more than 530 British citizens had ended their lives at Dignitas since the Swiss clinic opened in the 1990s.
Under current British law, the practice of assisted suicide is illegal and punishable by a prison sentence of 14 years. So dozens of desperate Brits are choosing to travel abroad to end their suffering.
Earlier this month, Dame Esther Rantzen revealed she had been admitted to the euthanasia clinic after her battle with stage four lung cancer.
The veteran broadcaster, 83, has called on MPs to hold a debate when Parliament returns in 2024 to give a free vote on euthanasia, where politicians are not controlled by party leadership.
In September 2020, a defender of the Dutch euthanasia system admitted that British critics were right to warn that euthanasia was a dangerous descent into the “indiscriminate killing of the defenseless.”
Dr. Bert Keizer said the type of patients whose lives are ended in the Netherlands has spread far beyond the terminally ill and now includes physically and mentally healthy old people “who find that their lives no longer have any meaning.”
Dr. Keizer, one of his country's most prominent euthanasia practitioners, said euthanasia in the Netherlands would likely be expanded in the future to life prisoners “who desperately long for death” and to disabled children whose parents believe their suffering worse is hopeless.
For confidential support call Samaritans on 116123 or visit a local Samaritans branch. For more information, visit www.samaritans.org