“Welcome to another episode of housewife,” says Helen, 25, in perfect English with a New York accent. The woman is trending on TikTok because she shows her daily routine while her boyfriend goes to work. Her videos have more than two million views and are part of the #SAHGF trend “Stay At home Girlfriends”, which in English means being a girlfriend who stays at home while her boyfriend supports her. It has accumulated more than 165 million views.
These girls' lives consist of supporting their boyfriends and handling household tasks like cooking and cleaning, all while maintaining an almost military regime over their bodies, their skincare routine, and their gym routine. One of their most important duties as well-groomed women is to always be beautiful for their friends, Helen explains in her videos.
The phenomenon reflects how new generations are moving away from the figure of the girlboss or productive women that essentially defined a millennial way of life in the world: the Zetas are now striving for a more comfortable life. Influencer Erika Wheaton has 25,000 followers to whom she shows what she defines as a “realistic” life with her boyfriend while he leaves her money every morning and she doesn't work. She goes to the grocery store, does laundry, runs errands, and cooks. In the afternoon, she goes to Pilates, shops for clothes at her favorite boutiques, and goes out to dinner with a friend to end the day. Wheaton, like many of these women, says her boyfriend allowed her to quit her 9-to-5 job to focus on herself, and that her only job was to always look perfect.
“I start the day playing with makeup from Sephora that my boyfriend gave me, I walk the dog, and I get the food my chef sends me because friends who are housewives don't cook.” explains Helen in one of her picture videos. The reality is that these videos are monetized by the major brands they promote. This proves that he has his own income, although his lifestyle and the success of his networks are based on him not working.
It's true that if you look at it more cynically, a “Stay at Home Girlfriend” is simply what used to be called “a staycation.” What is new is its presence on TikTok, a network that fetishizes the customs of its users and makes them desirable to many of its followers. Janira Planes, brand strategist at HAMLET Strategic Makers and internet culture specialist, explains that “these trends arise from imitation.” The trend arises from the desire to be at home and not work; it has its origins in a certain dissatisfaction with life. These are movements that arise on a social level and find visual expression in networks. It is no coincidence that #SAHG are late Millennial and Generation Z young women who grew up on a false promise of economic security.”
Valeria Silva, digital marketing expert from the Delirio&Twain agency, highlights another aspect of TikTok that could be interesting for understanding this phenomenon: it is a network that serves to compare each person's life with that of others . “When hashtags become trends, it's often because users are mimicking the behavior of someone whose lifestyle they find desirable. Since many women's routine involves doing everything except going to work, many others are also thinking about their own existence.”
We also cannot ignore the political implications of this trend and its clear connection with the phenomenon that emerged four years ago, the Trad Wives, promoted by Alena Kate Pettitt in the Darling Academy, a digital platform that defends and promotes this lifestyle role the traditional wife. In 2020, Alena was one of the most medial faces of this movement, which also took shape on the Internet and manifested itself in real life. Even then, she explained without embarrassment why she had swapped her job as a marketing assistant for a full-time job as a domestic worker. She claims the satisfaction of having a freshly baked cake with which to “relax” and “surprise” her husband when he comes home, and defends an autonomy that, as she explained, consisted of receiving monthly pocket money use that he gives her to buy She wanted food and her own expenses. “I’m the CEO of my own company, the person in charge of the house,” she said. None of their statements were devoid of doctrinal intent: thanks to a New York Times report entitled, the origin of these communities was shown to be linked to the white and male alt-right movements The women of white supremacy.
Whether these connections exist in the case of the #SAHGF remains to be seen.
The most famous of them, Kendal Kay, recently made her statement in Newsweek magazine and very quickly it became clear that not all that glitters is gold: “I am often criticized for not being financially independent. But I feel very safe.” I'm often asked: Isn't what you're doing too risky? Isn't that also financial abuse? The truth is that I don't talk about it often in my videos, but I think it is very important for every woman who chooses this lifestyle before ensuring a certain level of financial autonomy. For example, I have savings from times when I worked a lot. And I can also generate $2,000 a month with the content I create on networks.” That is, it is his job not to have a job, a pose that he cultivates to make money.
The move is undoubtedly smart. A study published in 2021 by Stanford University on user behavior on networks concluded that the content that goes viral the most, i.e. becomes trending, violates people's cultural values. In the age of fourth-wave feminism, this could be done with the preserved imagination.