A woman is divided after sharing a controversial reason for breaking up with her boyfriend or rejecting a marriage proposal.
Michelle Elman said you should break up immediately if your man doesn't put any effort into the relationship at all and only does so when he proposes to you.
The London author explained that a relationship should always be 50:50 and that the proposal should never be the first time your partner organizes a date night.
“This is so important.” It’s not about grand gestures, but about effort. “I wouldn't be in a relationship if they needed a special occasion to do something nice for me,” Michelle said in an Instagram video.
London author Michelle Elman (pictured) encouraged women to break up with boyfriends who made no effort beyond proposing marriage
Michelle recalled a conversation with a friend who was convinced her partner was going to propose because he had made a reservation at the restaurant – something he “never does.”
“I asked, 'Do you think he'll do that on vacation?' Do you think he's going to book a restaurant?” and she said, “Oh, he couldn't do that because it would be a gift,” Michelle said.
She was confused as to why a simple reservation would make it “obvious” what he was suggesting.
“She was like, 'Yeah, I would know because he's never done that before.' They had a ten-year relationship!' Michelle continued
“Forget the suggestion! I wouldn't enter into a ten-year relationship with someone who has never booked a restaurant.
“In a long-term relationship, there should be a 50:50 split of effort on outings, dates, booking restaurants, and planning and organizing activities together.”
Michelle said if such a man proposed to her it would be an “absolute no”.
“Personally, I don’t even go on a first date unless the guy books it. But if the only time a man books a restaurant is on the proposal, that would certainly be a no,” she added.
Michelle explained that a relationship should always be 50:50 and that the proposal should never be the first time your partner organizes a date night (stock image)
The video has since been viewed more than 607,000 times and received thousands of comments from other women, many of whom agreed with her point of view.
'So true! “My now-husband cooked me breakfast in bed (complete with rose petals and chocolate-covered strawberries for dessert) when he proposed to me, and I really had no idea he was coming because that's exactly the type of man he is is,” wrote one woman.
“My suggestion has been on my mind for two years and I think you've cracked it.” “I'll sit with it for a while,” said another.
A third added: “I wish someone had raised me with this knowledge. “I've wasted a lot of time serving as a servant to an absolute hunk. I regret it.'
However, others disagreed and argued it depends on the man's personality.
“I feel like videos like this are harmful because my partner has trouble doing things like this because of his ADHD,” one woman explained.
“Just like he grew up, now after two years he is becoming more consistent with gifts and romantic gestures.”
Another said: “Some people are just motivated differently and there doesn't need to be balance in all areas of a relationship.” “You might find it easier to make plans and the other might find it easier to do other things.”
Someone else wrote: “I wouldn't be in a ten year relationship with someone who took ten years to propose.”
This is the controversial reason why you should leave your long-term boyfriend: “If he does this, break up immediately.”