For more than three months, Oleksandra Osadcha, who fled Ukraine at dawn on February 24, the day of the Russian invasion, with her two children, wandered from country to country in search of a new “home”.
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This young woman of 26, who works in marketing, made the decision to leave her country in a flash, threw some things in her car and headed to the Polish border.
After two weeks in Poland and a month and a half in Portugal, she decided to feel like a foreigner everywhere. But she still has to build a new life for her seven-year-old daughter and four-year-old son that looks like home, to accept that we won’t be returning any time soon and that we are no longer here,” she told AFP from Bologna , Italy.
The United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR) says nearly five million Ukrainians have been registered as refugees in Europe since the Russian invasion, fueling “one of the biggest crises” of its kind in the world.
It is mainly women with small children, because Ukrainian men between the ages of 18 and 60 cannot leave the country because of compulsory military service.
These women, according to psychologist Anna Prosvetova, have to “adapt under stressful conditions”.
“The lack of the usual social environment, the usual lack of support, the feeling of loneliness and isolation, understanding that there is no one to rely on in this situation, all of this is psychologically difficult,” she explains.
“Full Liability”
“The woman has to ensure overall responsibility. She has to earn money, organize her life and her children’s hobbies on her own,” says Anna Kalioukh, a 34-year-old French teacher who fled to Poland with her two children.
Anna managed to convince her parents to leave their hometown of Severodonetsk in eastern Ukraine in the midst of one of the fiercest battles of the war.
Her mother refused to leave her homeland because she feared starting a new life abroad at the age of 61 with no language skills.
“The biggest challenge is finding a job,” reveals Anna, adding that her mother’s many years of experience as a hairdresser eventually allowed her to settle down in Kraków, Poland.
For her part, Oleksandra Ossadtcha says that her two children are always with her, which makes it even more difficult to find a job.
“I was lucky because I had some savings and was able to do at least part of my work remotely, but of course it’s difficult in general,” she says.
dilemma
According to psychologist Daria Bondar, Ukrainian women abroad face another problem: the contrast between peaceful life in their host country and the information they receive about the horrors of war in Ukraine.
These women “minimize their feelings and experiences compared to the pain of the whole country and other people,” which creates a certain “guilt” about being safe abroad, Ms Bondar said.
“Ukraine is our homeland, our homeland, and we never thought we would have to leave it,” regrets Anna Kalioukh, who follows the news every day, applauds the efforts of the Ukrainian army and is full of hatred for Russia.
Oleksandra Ossadtcha says she is torn between the idea that she needs to start a new life abroad and the idea that she will eventually return home.
“I have completely lost my sense of security at home. I know for sure that now in Ukraine I can’t send my children to kindergarten or school, because if they attack again, I won’t be able to be near them,” explains the young woman.
She adds: “And I don’t want them to have to get used to sirens and explosions.”