Adele has revealed how the “brutal” fan reaction sparked by the cancellation of her Las Vegas stay in January left her feeling like a “shell of a person”.
She describes dealing with the consequences of the decision not to perform for three months as a kind of “mourning”.
“The reaction was brutal, brutal,” she tells Desert Island Discs on Radio 4 today.
“I was a shell of a person for a few months. I just had to wait it out and just mourn, I guess – just mourn the shows and get over the guilt. But it was brutal.’
The London-born singer, best known for hits like Rolling In The Deep, Skyfall, Hello and Easy On Me, pulled the plug on shows at Caesars Palace on January 20 — 24 hours before they started.
Adele has revealed how the “brutal” fan backlash sparked by the cancellation of her Las Vegas stay in January left her feeling like a “shell of a person”.
The star was reportedly unhappy with the staging, which saw her sing the songs in a replica swimming pool. But her decision infuriated fans, many of whom had paid thousands to travel long distances to the concerts.
A defiant Adele – who has been performing in London’s Hyde Park for the past two nights – says the decision to cancel the shows wasn’t easy, but overall she felt it was the right thing to do.
She adds: “I definitely felt everyone’s disappointment and I was devastated and I was scared of letting her down and I thought I could pull it together and make it work, but I couldn’t – and I did stand by this decision.
“You can’t buy me – you can’t buy me for free. I’m not going to do a show just because I have to, or because people will be let down, or because we’re going to lose a lot of money. I say, ‘The show isn’t good enough.’ ‘
The Grammy and Oscar winner also opens up about how she “felt awful” after her seven stone weight loss upset some of her body-conscious younger fans.
The star was reportedly unhappy with the staging, which saw her sing the songs in a replica swimming pool. But her decision infuriated fans, many of whom had paid thousands to travel long distances to the concerts
The singer, who showed off her newly slim figure on the cover of Vogue magazine last year, said she was dismayed to learn that losing 100 pounds has left some fans suffering. “I secretly made it for myself,” she says.
“But I felt terrible for some people who felt like other people’s comments meant they weren’t good looking or that they weren’t beautiful.”
But the 34-year-old megastar has dismissed allegations leveled against her on social media that she gave in to societal pressure because of her transformation.
“Some of the ones I saw were young, they were like 15. There were some other people who felt very betrayed by me, like, ‘Oh, she’s giving in to the pressure,’ which didn’t really bother me.
“Because you don’t hold my hand at 4 a.m. when I’m screaming my heart out in fear and need a distraction and stuff like that.”
She says that despite her setbacks, she’s found a new sense of peace in her life, thanks in part to “a lot of therapy.”
She adds: “I no longer put myself in situations that drain me. I will walk away from it. I now choose the people who are in my life very, very carefully.’
Famous for spending years at a time out of the public eye, Adele says her new partner, American sports agent Rich Paul, helped her become less of a “recluse”.
The star, who is on friendly terms with ex-husband Simon Konecki, the father of her nine-year-old son Angelo, says she wishes she had more children.
“I would definitely like to have a few more children. It would be wonderful if we could. If not, I have Angelo.’
The star says the fact she still suffers from severe stage fright is a testament to herself that she still cares about her performances, adding: “When I’m not feeling that way [nervous] then I’m done. I won’t do it anymore.’
lAdele appears on Desert Island Discs on BBC Radio 4 today at 11.15am and will be repeated on Friday at 9am.