Most people tell at least two social “white” lies a day – minimum.
But how often do we lie to ourselves in bed?
The truth is quite a lot… and that goes for all genders.
We lie to get laid. We lie to protect people’s feelings. We lie to avoid something we don’t want.
We lie so people will like us and think we’re “nice.” We lie to flatter and make people fall in love with us.
There are many reasons for lying, but while some sexual lies are harmless, these are not.
Think before you start deceiving and don’t fall for any of these fake inventions.
Tracey Cox reveals the seven lies you need to know about sex. She also reveals the four white lies that won’t get you in trouble (stock image)
I just got tested
You should have a comprehensive screening for STIs and HIV every time you change partners or at least once a year if you are not protecting yourself every time you have sex.
That’s the guideline.
Tracey (pictured) says about 25 percent of the users on PornHub, the popular US site, are women, so don’t always believe women who say they don’t watch porn
The reality is that very few people test at all, let alone test regularly. Most people only see a doctor when they have symptoms—unaware that many STIs are asymptomatic.
The likelihood of someone telling the truth—despite the flamboyant you-can-trust-me-even-though-you-just-hit-me-expression—is so slim that it’s barely noticed.
Always assume the person is lying unless they have proof. Also, even if they got tested last week, who knows who they’ve slept with since then? It’s meaningless.
Insist on a condom – and if you’re a woman, maybe prepare for this one…
I can’t handle a condom
He can, you know. He absolutely can.
Try it.
Twenty years ago men might have reached a point where condoms dulled the sensation. But nowadays condoms are high-tech and big business: A lot of money is invested in the development of designs that guarantee high sensitivity.
Make it clear when it’s not on that sex isn’t on, and watch how quickly he gets the idea of ”low-quality” sex – and has an orgasm.
If he refuses condoms that much and you’re both happy about being monogamous, both of you will later test together and then drop it.
THE 4 SEX FIBS THAT ARE HARMLESS
Telling one of those piggies won’t get you in trouble at all
In the meantime, protect yourself.
I usually never do that
This is a female favorite – especially popular when we’re about to have sex with someone faster than we consider “acceptable”.
It’s a handy opt-out clause that effectively says, “I’m usually a ‘nice’ girl and follow the three date rule (or whatever’s in vogue at the moment), but I’ll make an exception for you because you it’s so hot/special/i really like you”.
This will supposedly stop the person you are trying to rape from thinking you are. ‘slutty’ or b. sex crazy.
Why we still have to say things like this when it’s a fact that women love sex just like men and don’t have to be in love with someone to enjoy it is beyond me.
But it still comes out of our mouths, though it’s about as believable as…
I never watch porn
Virtually all men with an internet connection watch porn, most of them on a regular basis.
Women often do it too: Around 25 percent of users of PornHub, the popular US site, are women.
The majority of people watch porn for five to ten minutes per visit, but many do so multiple times a day.
Despite the regularity of use, recent studies now support the notion that for most people, watching porn is more of a coffee break — a break from everyday life — than a threat to the relationship.
Why do people feel obligated to pretend they’ll never back down?
Men lie because a lot of women don’t like the idea of their partner watching other women do sexy things on screen.
Women lie because some men don’t like the idea of women experiencing the same primal pleasure they do: the kind that doesn’t require love.
The truth is that masturbating to porn on a regular basis can benefit your sex life. When you’re able to take care of yourself, you’re less likely to bother your partner with sex when they’re not in the mood. Regular orgasms keep our libido high, and finding variety online is a great way to deal with the monotony of monogamy.
This has never happened before
As I often say, is there really a woman alive who has “penis envy”? Who the heck wants one when every sexual “failure” is so obviously on display?
When a woman doesn’t climax, she can fake it. When she’s not lubricating, a dab of lube high in the vagina solves that problem…and no one needs to know.
There is nothing for people with penises to hide: whatever happens is for all out there to see and judge!
Is it any wonder he blurts out, “I’m shocked! That has never happened to me!’ if he climaxes two minutes after penetration or has trouble getting an erection after 25 pints of beer.
He does it to save face – and instead creates tension.
This lie makes it seem like it’s YOUR fault. If it’s never happened before, then it must be the partner: you’re not sexy enough, your technique sucks, you’re not turning him on enough.
If someone tries this on, say, “That’s interesting. It’s something that happens to all boys once in a while, sure? Anyway, who cares. Your tongue is fine, isn’t it?’.
I can tell if a woman has had an orgasm
Wow! What an amazing person you are when you are.
You are as extraordinary as a unicorn. Because it’s impossible to really tell if a woman has climaxed or not—unless you’re the woman having (or not having) the orgasm.
There was talk that a red rash or “sex flush” on the chest was the magic telltale sign. But it turns out that doesn’t always happen to all women.
A more telling sign – the clitoris becomes very sensitive after orgasm and is sometimes painful if touched directly – also doesn’t seem to be a one-size-fits-all.
This sex lie tends to come out of men’s mouths when their partner has made the bold and sensible choice not to fake an orgasm, but to admit she didn’t have one.
Any decent, sexually savvy person will respond, “Thanks for being honest. Can you tell or show me what works for you so next time I know what to do?’.
Others hit back with a defensive: “Well, that’s a first. I managed to make all my other girlfriends cum with no problem.”
Counter with, “But how do you know that?” and it says, “I know because I can tell if a woman is fake or not.”
Unless you can’t.
It doesn’t count that I cheated because I was drunk
Of all the sexual excuses and lies, I find the old “I got drunk and it just happened” the most pathetic.
What complete and utter rubbish!
One night stands don’t just happen. No matter how drunk you were, if you were having sex with someone you weren’t supposed to be having, there were several points along the way where you knew it was dangerous to continue down the path you had taken.
That moment in the bathroom when you thought, “I’m in trouble here. This guy/woman really turns me on and I enjoy it a little too much. I really have to go now.
And then not.
Even if it was a drunken “Oh what the heck,” you chose to do something that you knew would harm your partner.
In fact, being drunk affects our judgment and leads us to make bad decisions. But for the majority of people, it doesn’t override strong commitment and decency.
It wasn’t the wine that did it, it was YOU.
- Check out Tracey’s new products in her Supersex and Edge ranges at lovehoney.co.uk. Her weekly podcast, SexTok with Zibby and Tracey, will resume soon, but in the meantime, 55 episodes have to be caught up. Listen.