Is it rude to ask house guests to take off

Is it rude to ask house guests to take off their shoes?

A woman is furiously divided online after asking people if she thinks houseguests should take off their shoes.

The anonymous poster reached out to UK parenting forum Mumsnet to ask people’s opinions on the controversial issue.

She received a series of responses from posters who didn’t hold back. Some said they thought it rude not to automatically remove their shoes when going to someone else’s home.

Others said that asking people to remove their shoes was “unwelcome” and that the floor took precedence over guest comfort.

And some believe the division is based along class lines, with blue-collar and lower-middle-class people more likely to support the policy of removing shoes.

An anonymous woman has met mixed opinions after revealing she's asking house guests to take off their shoes - and asking what others are doing (stock image)

An anonymous woman has met mixed opinions after revealing she’s asking house guests to take off their shoes – and asking what others are doing (stock image)

The post on Mumsnet asked people to give their opinion on whether houseguests should remove their outdoor shoes

The post on Mumsnet asked people to give their opinion on whether houseguests should remove their outdoor shoes

On Mumsnet, the poster wrote: “[Am I being unreasonable to ask visitors to] Take off your shoes. I have very light cream colored carpets and nobody in the household wears shoes in the house.

“My niece called recently and it was raining heavily, she had cork soled shoes which soaked up a lot of water which she trampled all over my carpets.

“I asked her to take them off as it left wet, damp fingerprints. I don’t have to ask some people, but I feel uncomfortable asking.’

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For a number of posters, taking off one’s shoes when entering one’s (or other people’s) home is ‘automatic’, with many citing dirt as the reason

Many people agreed with the poster and said that they too have a shoe-off policy.

One wrote: “I live in the UK and don’t know anyone who has a foot in politics. The thought of all that shit outside being kicked through houses (and we have hard floors) makes me a little sick. Especially here in London – so much dog and fox poo!!”

Another added: “With my family, I only denounce shoes!!! And they do, but with my in-laws I stare at their feet and if they don’t understand then I say can you please take off your shoes!

“My partner’s grandfather rightfully refuses to take off their shoes in anyone’s house and even said to me, ‘You gave that to wooden floors because they’re easy to clean,’ as if that made a difference? We fought sarcastically the last time he visited and he hasn’t come back in months.’

And a third said: “I didn’t know people still wore shoes indoors, certainly not in other people’s houses. The first thing I do when I come home or go to someone’s house is take off my shoes, it happens automatically.”

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Some people considered asking people to remove their shoes to be the “pinnacle of bad manners”, while others pointed out that they didn’t want other people’s unshod feet in their home

However, many disagreed and had equally strong opinions about their own point of view.

One wrote: I hate the “take your shoes off” rule, it’s not inviting. Don’t have bright carpets if you’re that worried! Carpets like this get dingy despite all the shoe-off nonsense! They are dirt magnets.

“If you have to insist on such a silly rule, tell your visitor beforehand so they can bring slippers. I hate taking my shoes off and walking around in socks looks ridiculous. Or get biodegradable shoe covers.”

Another added that she also hated the off-period shoes, writing: “Me too and I’m extremely proud of the house and have cream rugs downstairs. I would only ask people to remove shoes if they are obviously dirty/muddy. We used to have neighbors who would take off their shoes when passing by, but I insisted they keep them on! I don’t want to look at your feet or holey socks, thanks.”

And another commenter added: “I’m wearing team shoes. I find it incredibly inhospitable and could never ask guests to take off their shoes. To get floor coverings that are not walkable seems ridiculous to me. We have light colored carpets on our stairs and landing, do not ask anyone to remove their shoes although we do it ourselves for comfort. Never had a problem.’

1659003883 714 Is it rude to ask house guests to take off 1659003883 419 Is it rude to ask house guests to take off 1659003884 210 Is it rude to ask house guests to take off 1659003885 785 Is it rude to ask house guests to take off Meanwhile, others have suggested that people's adherence to the shoe-on or shoe-off mentality is related to social class, with the lower classes usually being more in favor of taking off shoes

Meanwhile, others have suggested that people’s adherence to the shoe-on or shoe-off mentality is related to social class, with the lower classes usually being more in favor of taking off shoes

Some commentators have suggested that the divide may be class-based, with shoe removal being reserved for the working class and lower-middle class.

One wrote, “My takeaway from reading hundreds of these threads is that taking off shoes is mostly a lower-middle class thing.”

Another agreed, adding: “As discussed, it’s definitely a class thing. So you understand the etiquette surrounding this.’

And a third explained: “I think a lot of people are missing the point – middle and upper class people can certainly walk around shoeless in their own homes. But it is very rude to ask people to take off their shoes.

“However, it is also polite to ask someone on arrival if they prefer to put shoes on or take them off. So if everyone was polite and well behaved, there would never be a problem.

“The argument for putting your floors above the comfort of your guests stands.”