Real Housewives of New Jersey star Jackie Goldschneider shared a candid post in which she admitted that Tuesday’s episode of the popular Bravo show “marked the beginning of my recovery from an 18-year-old eating disorder that took my mind, mine body and my life”.
In a souvenir photo with her husband Evan, the 45-year-old attorney wrote a long caption detailing her nearly two-decade secret battle she endured with an eating disorder and how she finally decided to seek help.
“18 years of dangerous habits, mysterious behaviors and obsessive eating and exercise patterns that I was terrified to let go because I had tied so much of my identity to being skinny,” she wrote.
Strong: Real Housewives of New Jersey star Jackie Goldschneider shared a candid post admitting that Tuesday’s episode of the popular Bravo show “marked the beginning of my recovery from an 18-year-old eating disorder that was affecting my mind, my body and conquered my life ‘
“I was ashamed of my behavior when it came to food and afraid that people wouldn’t understand why or how I was doing this to myself. As a middle-aged woman with 4 young children, I didn’t know how to get help either.”
Jackie and Evan have two sets of twins – 13-year-old sons Jonas and Adin, and 11-year-old son Hudson and daughter Alexis.
“There’s so much shame around EDs and so many things people don’t know about it, and that’s why millions of us are silently fighting,” she continued. “Every 52 minutes someone dies from an eating disorder, which translates to over 10,000 deaths a year.”
“18 years of dangerous habits, mysterious behaviors and obsessive eating and exercise patterns that I was terrified to let go because I had tied so much of my identity to being skinny,” she wrote.
Jackie became a housewife in the popular franchise in its ninth season in 2018 and is currently in the middle of its 12th season. seen Tuesday night at the Bilt Rewards x Wells Fargo Private Launch Event at SUMMIT One Vanderbilt in New York
She added: “During my darkest days, I was dying to see someone who suffered like I did and who successfully recovered and lived a happy life. When I finally decided to acknowledge and recover from this, I wanted to be that person to as many other people as possible.
Jackie became a housewife of the popular franchise in the ninth season of 2018 and is currently in the middle of its 12th season.
She stars alongside Teresa Giudice, Melissa Gorga, Dolores Catania, Margaret Josephs, Jennifer Aydin and the franchise’s new friend Traci Johnson.
“Having those conversations on camera was terrifying at times and heartbreaking to look back on, but I’m so grateful I’m finally on this journey and I’m grateful to Bravo for allowing me to express my silence so publicly.” to let people know there is no shame in having an eating disorder or in asking for help and that help is available to everyone at every stage of life,” she wrote.
“If you are struggling with an eating disorder, please call the National Eating Disorder Association hotline at (800) 931-2237 or visit www.nationaleatingdisorders.org for help with recovery.
Jersey Girls: She stars alongside (from left) Jennifer Aydin, Dolores Catania, Teresa Giudice, Margaret Josephs and Melissa Gorga. Tiki Barber’s wife, Traci Johnson, was added to the franchise for Season 12 as a new girlfriend (seen in Season 10’s reunion with Andy Cohen in 2020).
Jackie had a full breakthrough in Tuesday night’s episode when she let cameras into her therapy appointment and realized her eating disorder had gotten so out of control that it was taking a physical toll on her mind, body and spirit
“Thank you for all your messages of love and support. You were so empowering and incredibly appreciated!.”
Jackie had a full breakthrough in Tuesday night’s episode when she let cameras into her therapy appointment and realized her eating disorder had gotten so out of control that it was taking a physical toll on her mind, body and spirit.
“It’s so much work,” Jackie said. “I see what’s on my calendar and I worry about which days I have to eat and which days I have to fake it. It’s all day, every day. I hate it so much and my body hurts. And I’ll do it anyway.’
“You shouldn’t have to suffer like that,” said Illene, her therapist. “When people ask me what causes eating disorders, I always say low self-esteem. For the fact of the matter is that the level of anorexia you are describing must seep into you and affect you constantly.’
“You don’t have a little anorexia, you’re fully grown,” said Illene.
Heavy Child: “I think being so heavy as a kid was so traumatic for me. I remember once I was putting on lipstick in the hallway and a boy walked by and said, “That’s not going to help.” And I thought he was right. It won’t help because I’m just so fucking gross.
“You don’t have a little anorexia, you’re fully grown,” said Illene
“I know,” Jackie said. “I think it was so traumatic for me to be so heavy as a kid. I remember once I was putting on lipstick in the hallway and a boy walked by and said, “That’s not going to help.” And I thought he was right. It’s not going to help because I’m just so fucking gross.’
She began to cry as she recalled the traumatic time: “At that point I just halved breakfast, I lost weight. Then I met my husband. I was like he already knew me as that good looking girl. I better keep doing this.’
Jackie said in a confessional that she knows Evan loves her regardless of what her body looks like, “but one of my irrational fears is that if I gain weight, you know I won’t be the same person.”
Back at home, Evan told Jackie that he had seen her nuances for so long. Jackie asked him if these things bothered him. He said yes if it was unhealthy.
“It’s hard for me to hear stuff like that,” Jackie said. ‘I know I just jumped in your throat when you tried to help me, but I’ve always done everything myself.’
Evan told her that they were of the age to enjoy life.
“I kind of tricked myself into believing I’d gotten to a better place, but she told me I had full blown anorexia, which I would never say out loud,” Jackie said. “And I’ve never gotten to the point where I’m at right now, where I’m fine, I’m ready for some help.”
Supportive husband: Jackie said in a confessional that she knows Evan loves her regardless of what her body looks like
Back at home, Evan told Jackie that he had seen her nuances for so long. Jackie asked him if these things bothered him. He said yes if it was unhealthy
“If I’m okay, you can throw away all my measuring spoons,” Jackie said
“I just want to join you for dinner,” Jackie said, and Evan admitted, “It helps so much with a deeper connection.”
“But if I gain weight and stuff, you’re okay with that, right?” Jackie asked.
“Of course,” Evan said. “I love you no matter how big you are. I’m proud that you made it and are taking the first steps.”
“If I’m okay, you can throw away all my measuring spoons,” Jackie said.
“There’s about a hundred,” Evan said.
“I know,” Jackie.