by Elvira Serra
The host: «I’m not sorry that my wife Sonia has moved because that’s what she wants and when you love someone it’s pure evil to force something on them that they don’t want. But it’s not my way”
Did he handwrite that too?
“Yes, I always use the pen and notebook.”
Has anyone in your family read it yet?
“No nobody. My wife took it to Paris these days, she has a book column … ».
“Sonia’s Books” (Bruganelli). He will certainly invite you.
“We’ll see if you like it.”
don’t come down
“But what do I know. The wrath of God went through them, from Veronesi to Cotroneo to Ciabatti. Mo ‘I arrive … ».
With Why have I spoken to myself he went there.
“But that was a masterpiece.”
Interviewing Paolo Bonolis is like walking on eggshells. Even if you try, breaking some is inevitable. Impeccable friendliness is matched by iron restraint. And when the two features collide, he gets a very slight, barely perceptible stutter that makes the interlocutor feel like they’ve made another misstep. We meet in Rome, at Elios Studios, to talk about his first novel Notte deepa, now available in bookstores three years after the autobiography also written for Rizzoli. He went from monologue to dialogue. What takes place on a spring night in 2023 between husband and wife. He says it looks more like a play. And it’s true. He says there is no known reference. And maybe it’s less true. At least in the nuances, in her high-heeled shoes that please him, in the subtle electricity that unites the couple, in the desolate exclamation: “Why … why … why does he love that viper” alluding to the literary consort who settles in forensic school as a supervisor in interrogation and cross-examination (a precious gift when suffering from retroactive jealousy).
Really, Bonolis, nothing personal?
“No, zero. I chose the dialogue between wife and husband because it flows quickly. And in a world of Big Brothers, it’s like looking into the intimate thought life of a couple and through them analyzing everyone’s problems: the relationship to religion, to jealousy, to the upbringing of children in a hyper-digital age like this one from our analogue experience “.
“THE SMARTPHONE? AFTER 16 YEARS. WHEN THE BOYS LOSE THEIR MEMORY, THE BEAUTY OF RELATIONSHIPS AND ALSO THE EXERCISE OF CHARACTER”
Some themes dear to her heart are returning. Like what we might call the “Bonolis Law”: the idea of only giving the smartphone to those who are 16 years old.
«Yes, I am convinced of that. Reality has shifted from the three-dimensional to the two-dimensional. The fault lies in abuse, in existence delegated not so much to the binary technology of the computer as to ready-to-wear, to always having it with you. Thus, memory, interpersonal relationships, boredom that leads to diligence and the development of imagination, the discovery and exercise of one’s character are lost.”
what phone do you have
«A Nokia: If he wants to call me, he can do that, if he wants to text me, I get it. If we have to do other things, I prefer to face them together ».
At what age did you buy your kids’ cell phones?
“It wasn’t me, it was Sonia because she uses her smartphone a lot. But also my wife has had an analogous growth and development, she can tell the oil from the bran and thanks to her and my commitment to the boys it has been granted in a fairly balanced way. Adele, Davide and Silvia themselves use it but don’t abuse it ».
Have you already seen Davide play with the Primavera della Triestina?
“He hasn’t made his debut yet because he’s picked up a minor knee injury and is recovering.”
are you a dad coach
“I’m very respectful. Then it’s clear when my son asks me “How did I fare?” I tell him what I think he could have done and what he couldn’t have done or could have done better. If you don’t tell a growing organism where it’s wrong and where it can improve, you’re not helping it.”
In the middle of the night there is the hint of smells. Can you name one for each member of your family?
(He closes his eyes) «Silvia is talcum powder. David is sweaty. Adele smells like printed paper, the smell of a book. Sonia is Chanel No. 5 ».
Do we also try it with his first two children, who came from his marriage to Diane Zöller?
«Martina smells like home, Stefano has an exotic, changing scent. But this is how I become Jean-Baptiste Grenouille! (the protagonist of Profumo di Süskind, ed.) ».
What does “get drenched” mean? He writes it on page 168.
“Make yourself an animal in your behavior. It’s quite outdated ».
Do you recognize that bit of “etymological pedantry” he talks about in the novel?
«Some interlocutors I manage to eradicate with pedantry. But I have to say that over the years I tend to come back to certain topics often, maybe in a somewhat pedantic way, because I see values growing around me that I don’t share and I see others losing , which I had hoped would never be lost”.
For example?
“I think fluidity is an overstatement because it takes away the substance of your word and the relationships you make. It’s not a bad stat per se, but it’s easy to exploit to piss it off. Solidity is lacking in a world that is only fluid, and solidity gives us certainties ».
One of the themes of the book concerns the relationship with God and the Church. Speaking of faith, he makes an acrobatic comparison between the Immaculate Conception and Paolo Rossi’s goal at the 82nd World Cup.
«I Paolo Rossi I saw him do certain things, not the Immaculate Conception, in fact the creed is recited in the church, not the so. If you cannot give meaning to your existence, you need religion. But I do notice a certain discrepancy between the ostensible initial message — leave whatever you have, give to the poor and follow me — and a religion that has a state, a bank, real estate, guards, an army.”
When you met the Pope, were you excited?
“Not particularly. He’s a very kind, nice gentleman. I was very curious. He invited us to the Vatican about two years ago. We talked about football, I invited him to watch a game together. It was great joy from Silvia, who wanted to see him. So I took her with her assistant, now Sister Denise. He was very nice to her.’
have you ever prayed
‘Of course I pray. But I don’t pray to God, I talk to people who are no longer there, I turn to them, greet them every time I go to bed and thank them for what they have given me. The church, on the other hand, is an institution that stands between those who must believe and the need mentioned. God is not dealing with a solution or a problem. Excuse me, I’m talking about my daughter’s experience (hypoxia during an operation in diapers affected part of the motor skills and brain of almost 20-year-old Silvia, ed.). In any case, these are small annoyances that you keep.”
I thought he wasn’t mad about it anymore.
“If you ask me, I’ll tell you I’m not happy with it. I am very happy with Silvia, very happy how happy she is always, I love her soul, she amuses me, she is full of energy. But what happened happened, and as the Marquis del Grillo said, could I still be a little mad at ‘I’m done? It angers me because I have no weapons to face it other than acceptance and love. But it hurts me That’s all”.
Still traveling in the old white and blue Invicta?
“You feel like it! One of the last times 4-5 years ago in Ortisei with the boys. We had to do the descent from Seceda: the problem is that I took the wrong mountain and we walked over 14 kilometers. Adele was small, Davide caught her in flight as she was about to fall into an abyss ».
A trip you miss?
“Many. New Caledonia, New Zealand, Tierra del Fuego … It seems to me that the new generations do not know geography, they no longer study and it is absurd because this is the planet on which we live ».
She learned geography in the field.
“My parents saved up to take me somewhere, then I started traveling alone: an incentive to question human, territorial and behavioral differences. Instead, today we make a lot of ivy, a little bit of spore ».
What is the first important gift to her parents?
«The house by the sea in Fondi».
Who was happier that day?
“A lot of my happiness is a rebound of the happiness of others. And when others are happy thanks to me, I’m doubly happy».
Have you already created your living will?
“Not yet, but if someone needs what I no longer need, let them take it. After all, I already do it in life, with many donations of my freedom: if you devote yourself to one thing, you give up something else».
He wrote about himself that it was romantic. Are you sorry that your wife has decided to move into the apartment next door?
“I don’t mind because that’s what she wants, and when you love someone, it’s pure evil to force something on them that they don’t want. It’s certainly not my path, but since it’s his, it corresponds in a small way to what I said before: It’s a kind of living will. Okay, that’s okay, also because we’re talking about a difference of 40 meters ».
We close with the novel. Would you like to win a prize?
“It wouldn’t make sense. I’m reading Jennifer Egan’s The Gingerbread House. Here everyone should do their own thing: there are those who win the Pulitzer and those who win the Telegatti ».
10/15/2022 (Change 10/15/2022 | 12:52 p.m.)
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