Due to Russia’s military attack on Ukraine, so-called solidarity visits to Zelensky in Kyiv are practically mandatory for leading European politicians. That is why German Federal President Steinmeier, after all head of state of one of the countries’ biggest idealist and financial supporters, wanted to travel there to prove his solidarity with the Ukrainian population. However, his plan was thwarted by an unprecedented affront from Zelensky, who accused him of dealing too kindly with Russia in the past and declared him a “persona non grata”, that is, an undesirable person. Anyone who had expected this to cause a diplomatic upheaval in the German federal government was surprised to the contrary. Green-colored Itamaraty representatives were immediately assigned to clear up alleged “misunderstandings”. They did manage, with any additional promises, to placate Zelensky and allow Steinmeier to visit him. He has finally taken over recently, despite the previous indescribable humiliation. The lawn caretaker at Steinmeier’s residence is now being asked to take an inventory of a complete set of garden hoses to find out if any of them may have gone missing and misused as a replacement for a human spine.