Praise be to porn star Johnny Sins.
I never thought I’d say those words, but this saint of a man single-handedly saves the woman’s orgasm.
Sure, he recently made the bold statement that he can give women up to 20 orgasms, which made us all laugh. My first thought was, “No, mate, the only thing you can do is believe the fake moans women make when they’re through being jackhammered and ready for your turn and go to sleep.”
Spoiler alert: women do it all the time. If there were an Oscar for fake orgasms, I’d pretty much be in the running.
But as I continued reading the rest of the interview… I won’t lie, the guy won me over.
Jana Hocking (pictured) says there have been many “wham, bam, thanks mom” moments in her sex life that have made her think, “Really… is that it?”.
Sure, I still can’t believe he can make a woman cum a whopping 20 times in one session, but I definitely believe he can make her climax at least once.
Why? Because he values women’s lust. As he said: “I always wanted to please the girl I was with and make her orgasm 10, 20 times before I even think about it because when I do orgasm it’s mostly over, and for me it is it’s the sex i really enjoy so i want to keep this going for as long as possible. My advice is to pay more attention to your partner and please them as often as possible.’
I thought, ‘Can this man run workshops for the men of Australia? They could use a lesson or two.
Now that’s probably a bit unfair. The last person I dated was very proud of foreplay. He might have the best tongue in the world… and let’s just say he knew how to use it. When he said he really loved watching me climax, I believed him.
Maybe I’m being a little hasty, but looking back over my relationship history, there were a lot of “wham, bam, thanks mom” moments that made me think, “really…that’s it?”.
There’s one guy in particular who got his Jolly’s for about three minutes and then looked over at me and said, “Well… did you come?” No… no I didn’t. It wasn’t long before he was snoring and I was looking at the ceiling and thinking about what I had done wrong in life.
Pornstar Johnny Sins stands up for all the (unsatisfied) women out there
Johnny calls this type of man “selfish,” and I have to agree. If I’ve gone to the trouble of waxing every orifice, styling my hair, shopping for a new outfit, and listening to you tell me all about your last fishing trip in Cape York, the least you can do is make me a tizz before letting out that funny little moan, which you end up doing (side note: I actually think it’s adorable).
So here are some bedroom tips guys:
1. Foreplay is your friend – yes, you might be able to drop your pants and get straight to the point, but we women need some warm-up time. Tease us a little, it works wonders.
2. Use your words – for a woman there is a lot of power in mental stimulation. In fact, it’s just as important as physical stimulation. This can even begin before the romp. Send us a sexy SMS before the date so we can start thinking about the naughty time. Stop by during the liaison, ask if a certain move feels good, talk a little dirty to us. Honestly, words will bring us very close to that earth-shattering moan.
3. Attitude is everything! We’re not going to feel sexy in a bedroom that smells like old socks and clothes that’ve been left in the washing machine for too long. Light a candle, put on a sexy playlist, and make your fucking bed when you know we’re coming over. Extra props if you go through the bathroom too.
4. Google what a woman’s downstairs department looks like. Seriously, you’d be surprised how many men think a clitoris is in a completely different place than it actually is. Educate yourselves boys.
5. And finally… if you feel like you’re about to cum in 3 minutes – do what an ex of mine used to do, stop and think of something very non-sexual (I think he would before muttering to yourself, “Grannies, grannies, grannies lol) and then starting all over again. Sexy time should be a marathon, not a quick lap in the pool.
Jana (pictured) tells the men from Australia: “Unless we’re bombarding you with ‘I really enjoyed last night’ texts, be scared… very scared. There’s a fair chance you’re a dud in bed.
Also a word or warning… if you get us to meet the mighty O there’s a fair chance we’ll catch the love virus for you, believe it or not, it’s science.
Yes, women have been found to break a bond when they climax. The brain releases oxytocin (known as the love hormone), a neurochemical that creates that squishy feeling after you get the act done. You know the one where you just want to cuddle and bask in the love numbness.
No wonder we women choose wedding dresses and names for our yet to be born children after a date. Can you blame us?!
So unless we blast you with “I really enjoyed last night” texts, you’re scared… very scared. There’s a good chance you’re a dud in bed.