This week Kit Connor, the young star of Heartstopper, Netflix’s dreamy LGBTQ romance, came out as bisexual — but not of his own choosing. “Back for a minute“ He tweeted, referring to his self-imposed hiatus from Twitter due to past harassment. “I’m bi. Congratulations on forcing an 18 year old to come out. I think some of you missed the point of the show. goodbye”
A feverish claim to details of celebrity sexuality has been growing online for years, with celebrities increasingly being urged by fans and the media to “come out” and confirm rabid speculation. Harry Styles, Taylor Swift, Jameela Jamil, Rita Ora, Billie Eilish, Yungblud, Shawn Mendes and most recently Connor have all been harassed into confirming their sexuality while obsessing over the flimsiest of clues — a paparazzi photo, a music video, an election the role. Connor faced a storm of scrutiny when pictures emerged of him holding hands with Maia Reficco, a co-star in a new film. After touching a woman after playing a bisexual character in Heartstopper, Connor was accused of “queerbaiting,” a criticism leveled at stars who are believed to “perform” queerness for their influence.
It’s the same mindset that leads to arguments that Harry Styles shouldn’t be allowed to wear a green feather boa until he confirms how he identifies, or that Billie Eilish is slammed for slightly sapphic scenes in a music video, followed by claims she’s “coming out.” ‘ to justify them.
Queerbaiting was originally a critique of films and shows that would hint at LGBTQ+ representation without actually portraying them in order to attract LGBTQ+ audiences without having to lose the straights. Remember when the directors of Avengers: Endgame spoke publicly and loudly about having a queer portrayal in the film, only to have it turn out to be a single line spoken by an unnamed supporting character.
But the hyper-media-savvy young people who make up online fandoms have weaponized and debased the term, pointing it at any celebrity they believe is displaying queerness in order to pander and earn the “pink dollar.” earn.
Unlike in the past, when public scrutiny of sexuality was largely driven by homophobia, this new claim seems articulated not only in acceptance but also in intense support for queer identities. While that sounds nice, the problem is that celebrities don’t have a say in whether or not they want this “support.” It also perpetuates regressive attitudes towards performative queerness for a heterosexual audience in which certain “types” of identity are seen as more valid or real than others. Nor does it recognize the very real dangers that still exist for people who choose to come out publicly. In the end, it only becomes more satisfying for us to measure, judge and consume.
The cast of Heartstopper (LR) Kit Connor, Joe Locke, Tobie Donovan and Sebastian Croft attend Pride in London in July. Photo: Chris J Ratcliffe/Getty ImagesThe “pressure” Connor wrote about isn’t a few scattered trolls or the odd piece of thinking. We’re talking about huge, dedicated fandoms across multiple social networks that may be invisible to you, but are of real and urgent concern to everyone in these fields. Heartstopper’s surprising success rested on the support of a passionate fanbase he couldn’t really ignore. These fandoms have a frightening ability to pressure online: They’re numerous and vocal, and everyone currently working in culture, from executives to actors, knows that wooing them can mean success.
While both Connor and fellow Heartstopper Joe Locke have deactivated their social media accounts, it shows that Connor felt “compelled” to return and come out that the pressure is both toxic and real. Connor’s character, Nick, is also on a journey of exploration into his sexuality, which the show treats with incredibly moving respect and love – but is clearly misunderstood by many of the show’s fans.
I think some of you forget how dangerous being queer can be. They are all so blinded by the support and positivity that can be found online that they forget that coming out yourself or someone can have dire consequences
— benji (@simonshoodie) October 31, 2022
Coming out is a personal journey, but one that has long been monitored by people inside and outside the queer community. Rebel Wilson recently said she felt “forced” to come out when a gay gossip columnist for the Sydney Morning Herald threatened to write about her new relationship with a woman. “There are levels to telling people,” she said. “You tell your close family and friends and not just anyone. In both of our families, not everyone is as accepting as one would hope and we have tried to be respectful of those people and tell them our way.”
Connor is a young man pushed to face the public with all the complications, joys, and confusions of his sexuality. Even if you don’t care about celebrities, such a public claim is emblematic of a broader problem – Celebrities aren’t the only ones suffering. Such binary attitudes have found their way into the queer community, where there are arguments over who “may” march in Pride or enter queer spaces. It all leads to a situation where there is a “right” or “wrong” way to be queer, where coming out and performing are expected, not a choice. Nobody has to offer their sexuality or gender identity for other people’s consumption – no, not even that of a celebrity.