Not since Anthony Weiner has New York produced such a cowardly, dishonest bogus congressman.
Not that entertaining either.
Rep. Elect George Santos to be sworn into Congress is the thrill event of the year. I know — that’s an early and bold assessment, but this guy’s a cracked train of lunatics, a pathological liar who’s not ashamed to have been caught, and like Weiner before him, seems determined to play his self-immolation on the national one Stage.
Well, I know what many of you are probably thinking: A politician lying? Isn’t lying part of the job description? Trump and his administration coined “fake news” and “alternative facts”. Joe Biden has spoken about Whopper his entire career.
And it seems no young congressman can match Weiner, whose notorious sexting habit cost him his congressional job, his marriage to Hillary Clinton’s assistant Huma Abedin, and sent him to prison.
You may be wondering what makes a Queens congressman so special?
Greatness, extent and scope, my friends, with a touch of shamelessness with mad eyes and baby faces.
Santos has somehow managed to evade any due due diligence on the part of the Republican Party — you know, the kind that would have said to a campaign manager, “Hey, this guy is a total fraud and a liability.”
Somehow he then managed to run two election campaigns and win one without encountering any proper opposition research or major media outlets covering his claims until after the election.
But has he done anything worse than all the resume-flattering, self-inflating politicians that have come before him?
Representative-elect George Santos (above), scheduled to be sworn into Congress, is the breakneck event of the year.
Not since Anthony Weiner (above) has New York produced such a cowardly, dishonest bogus congressman.
Oh well.
Here is just a sampling of what we know so far:
Santos lied about attending the elite Horace Mann preparatory school in Manhattan. He lied about his parents owning substantial real estate, that he worked for Goldman Sachs, that he opposed the C-Suite for renewable energy investments, that he worked for Citigroup, that he received his NYU degree and did at Baruch College.
The day after Christmas, Santos tried to minimize this sprawling scandal. “I didn’t have a college degree,” he told the New York Post. “I’m embarrassed and sorry for embellishing my resume. . . We do stupid things in life.’
Do you believe a scammer when he apologizes? As the saying goes, where there’s a roach, there’s an army.
That’s also how we learned that Santos lied about things that matter, tragedies we all hold sacred: the Holocaust and 9/11.
It feels like someone is lying about having cancer – few things are lower, greasier, more gross.
Santos lied about his grandparents’ escape from the Nazis. He said his mother died in the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center, she was in the South Tower; She actually died in 2016.
What else? Santos said he was Jewish, but when it turned out he was actually Catholic (what else? Black is white and up is down in the Santos world), he had the audacity to say the fault was ours.
“I never claimed to be Jewish,” Santos told the New York Post. “I said I was Jewish.”
George Santos is Seinfeld’s George Costanza, right? You can hear this phrase coming out of his mouth, a Larry David special. It’s not just that they look alike — the glasses, the sleeveless sweaters, the plumpness, the vague smarm — it’s also that George Costanza lied about everything: being an architect, working at Vandelay Industries, being a marine biologist , being disabled so he could have a bigger bathroom at work because of his dead fiancé. It went on and on.
“Jerry, remember,” George Costanza famously said. “It’s not a lie if you believe it.”
That could be George Santos’ motto. He claims to be the first openly gay Republican elected to the US Congress, but we also recently learned that Santos was secretly married to a woman from 2012 to 2019. He has had a series of bad debts and unpaid bills. A former friend named Peter Hamilton told the New York Times that Santos owed him a $5,000 loan that a court had ordered repaid.
Unless two-thirds of his peers in the House of Representatives vote for impeachment. And for all of us, please, can we raise the bipartisan unity for this? Or is that asking too much since Republicans can’t even agree on a new speaker?
Santos ignored a phalanx of reporters outside his office door while – of course – pretending to be talking on his cellphone.
Spoiler alert: Hamilton is still waiting.
“I’m sorry I didn’t get in touch before the actual election,” Hamilton said. “At this point, it’s like he’s cheating on the public.”
Yes! That’s exactly how it feels. No wonder Santos has an ongoing criminal case in Brazil for allegedly cheating an elderly man his mother was caring for out of $900 in US funds – by using the man’s stolen checkbook to buy clothes.
“I’m not a criminal here,” Santos told the Post, “not here nor in Brazil or any jurisdiction in the world.”
Somehow, Santos loaned his own campaign $700,000. He appears to have set up a fraudulent GoFundMe for a charity that he misrepresented as a 501(c)(3) nonprofit. He was sued by two landlords for unpaid rent, once in 2014 and again in 2015. Discover won a credit card judgment against Santos for $1,027.45
When his mother died, he sent a check to her funeral home.
Does it go any deeper?
Actually it could. This guy doesn’t seem to have a butt. He just keeps spending and spending, lying and subterfuging.
To leave no doubt that the disgrace in America really is dead, George showed up for his inauguration ceremony on Tuesday. He ignored a phalanx of reporters outside his office door while – of course – pretending to be talking on his cell phone. He stood in the chamber of the house and recited the oath of allegiance. He sat slumped in his chair, looking lonely and sad while all the other members of Congress kept their safe distance, as if his doomed career was contagious.
“I’m not a criminal here,” Santos told the Post, “not here nor in Brazil or any jurisdiction in the world.”
If you’re too swampy for other swamp creatures, you’re in real trouble.
I think we all know where this is going. The Nassau County Attorney’s Office has already launched an investigation. So does the Queens Attorney’s Office. The US Attorney’s Office in Brooklyn has launched a nationwide investigation.
And until it’s discovered that Santos has committed crimes, he plans to proudly swear in and serve out his two-year sentence.
Unless two-thirds of his fellow congressmen vote to impeach him. And for all of us, please, can we raise the bipartisan unity for this?
Or is that asking too much since House Republicans can’t even agree on a new Speaker?
Because otherwise, George plans to legislate for the people of New York — and after de Blasio, Cuomo, and Hochul, we’ve suffered enough.
“This will not stop me from getting good legislative wins,” Santos told the Post. “I will be effective. I will be good.’
Hey – it’s not a lie if you believe it.