Why is it hard to be alone with your own thoughts? Estao

Our minds can do magic dreams amazing memories, beautiful memories and prolonged daydreams. And studies show that this kind of Thoughts, if they are pleasant, are good for us.

“If we’re not the only species, we’re one of the few that have this kind of extended internal reasoning, not just about things that have happened or things that might happen, but also about things that never will or never will happen that could have happened,” he said. Erin Westgate, a social psychologist at the University of Florida, told the Washington Post.

But “just thinking” seems difficult, and many struggle with being alone with the person they are most with: themselves. When asked to pass a only time to thinkthink most challenging and not so satisfyingStudies show.

Even Henry David Thoreau, famous for contemplating his thoughts alone at Walden Pond, a famous US pond, “spent a suspiciously large part of his ‘solitary’ retreat in town visiting his neighbors,” noted Erin Westgate and their colleagues last year in a study firm.

When it comes to judging how comfortable it is to think for pleasure, experience tends to fall flat. The equivalent of brushing your teeth, said Erin Westgate. “It’s not torture, but it’s not the best thing in the world.”

Studies show that people a consistent preference for doing rather than thinkingeven if the alternative activity is something that seems unattractive, like doing a review or even getting electric shocks.

However, as with other challenging cognitive tasks, spending time alone with our thoughts can be beneficial for us. AND we might as well learn to get better at it.

“Just thinking” seems difficult, and many struggle to be alone with the person they are most with: themselves. Photo: Petig/Pixabay.com

Loneliness isn’t inherently good or bad, it’s “just one of the many normal experiences we have in our lives,” said Thuyvy Nguyen, a social psychologist who studies loneliness at the University of Durham in the UK.

However, Nguyen and his colleagues found that out Spending just 15 minutes alone has a calming effect on our mood. Participants experienced a reduction in arousal and highenergy emotions, both positive and negative, such as: fear, anger and excitement. They felt calmer and more comfortable.

“I think the main benefit of solitude is reducing arousal and giving us opportunities for rest and relaxation,” Nguyen said.

Being able to think for pleasure can help us endure uncomfortable situations, said Erin Westgate. Research has found that people who are able to spend more time alone with their thoughts, for example, are better at holding their hands in cold water, suggesting the practice may increase pain tolerance.

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More importantly, thinking for pleasure can be more meaningful than what we typically do during our free time.

In one study, Erin Westgate and her colleagues asked more than 170 college students to either think during their free time or go about their day as usual. Those students who were asked to think for pleasure found it so enjoyable and more meaningful than the time normally spent doing it. As for many people, that time without focused thinking ends with “mindlessly scrolling your phone,” the researcher said.

When we have a choice, and when it’s done with intention, spending time alone with our thoughts, while difficult, can be possible increase our engagement with life and its meaning.

Contrary to what it might seem, enjoying our thoughts is a challenge in many parts of the world..

In a 2019 study, more than 2,500 participants from 11 countries with different cultural and economic backgrounds were asked to do or think something for pleasure. There were some differences, but on average if someone was from Belgium, South Korea, Turkey or Costa Rica, people were happy to do something on their own to think about it.

These results can be disappointing although humans have this unique ability to think for fun, we don’t seem to be very good at it.

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But from another perspective, this is encouraging because it suggests that “this isn’t something we’re born with, but a skill that each of us can learn and improve on,” said Erin Westgate. “Everyone gets better at it if we give some support to make it easier,” the researcher added.

In a review of 36 scientific studies involving more than 10,000 participants, the researcher and her colleagues found that when we set a goal to enjoy our thoughts, we end up liking them. the key is make thoughts personally meaningful and easier to think about.

Think if it’s easy. We are more likely to think for pleasure during rest periods, e.g. B. when we are traveling or taking care of ourselves, e.g. B. when bathing. These routine, automatic thoughts require neither our attention nor extra brain power.

As “meaningful beings,” we can reframe those moments of solitude as beneficial and normalize them to selfregulate our experiences, Nguyen said.

Write down topics and keep them handy. Writing lists of topics to think about ahead of time can alleviate some of the cognitive load.

Research by Erin Westgate shows that “thinking aids,” such as onscreen notes or flashcards, make thinking a pleasure, thereby making it more enjoyable. The researcher herself jots down things on her cell phone that she can daydream about.

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Make topics meaningful and fun. In a 2021 study, the researcher and her colleagues guided more than 250 undergraduate students to think “meaningful” thoughts or give them specific meaningful themes, such as their first kiss, their next vacation, or their dream wedding day.

Participants who were given specific examples found their thinking phase more enjoyable and meaningful than those who were asked to occupy their minds without guidance.

Pleasant thoughts are not inherently meaningful, and meaningful thoughts are not inherently pleasant. Preselecting topics can help improve experiencing these thoughts, which can make it easier to be alone with your thoughts in the future.

“It can be ‘the’ tool in the toolkit to increase engagement and increase meaning that is free,” said Erin Westgate.