A woman has opened up about being stalked by a random man for three months after being polite to him at a restaurant, saying he showed up twice at her place of work claiming to be an “old friend”. .
Patty Brem, 44, from California, shared her harrowing story Twitter last month as a warning to men and women. The teacher explained that the stranger tracked her down after she naively told him which high school she worked at.
“This experience forever changed the way I behave around strangers,” she told BuzzFeed. “I will never disclose personal information, even if it appears innocent. I feel like from now on I’ll always be on guard instead of being willingly friendly.
In her series of tweets, she recalled meeting the man at a salsa bar nearly two hours from her home and having a polite but brief chat with him.
Patty Brem, 44, of California, revealed on Twitter that a man she was polite to stalked her at a restaurant for three months
The teacher recalled chatting briefly with the man at a restaurant almost two hours from her home and said he asked her what school she worked at
“He asked where I was from and what I did for a living and I told him. He knew the town I live in and asked what school I teach at, so I mentioned the name,” she wrote. “It turned out that he was familiar and refereed some football games at my school.”
Brem said she told him to “have a good night” before sitting down to dinner with her sister, who later noticed the guy checking her out. He and his friend were sitting at the table next to them.
They chatted politely and exchanged first names before finishing their dinner and heading home.
“A few weeks go by and I get an email in my WORK inbox from the guy asking me to go out sometime,” she shared. “I never gave him my email address, phone number or even my last name. I’m a bit scared but don’t answer, delete and get on with my life.’
Brem received another email from him a few weeks later. This time around, he said he recently refereed one of her school games and was “upset” that she wasn’t there.
Once again, she deleted his email without replying because she didn’t want to encourage him.
Weeks later, he emailed her at work asking her to go out, but she ignored it. She later learned that he had turned up at her school twice looking for her
On December 13, she was having a meeting with her principal and deputy principal when the school administrator walked in and said her “old friend” was at the school and wanted to say hello to her.
“I’m confused and baffled as to who she could possibly be talking about,” she explained. ‘My deputy principal says, ‘Oh, he came by yesterday too, but you were already gone. He asked when you finished work.”
Brem realized it was the man from the restaurant when they gave his last name, and she explained the situation, stressing that he wasn’t a friend.
Not only did he ask when she was finished, but he also wanted to know what time she usually left school and which door she came through.
After being told she was unavailable, he walked to his car but didn’t exit. When the principal came out, he drove down the block and continued to wait for her. That’s when they alerted the school’s resource officer.
The man started circling the school in his car while one of her colleagues followed him until he stopped. He eventually left after her colleague said “a few well-chosen words to him.”
Brem said it took multiple attempts to get the man to finally leave, citing “one of the scariest days of my life.”
“An innocent and polite conversation with a stranger three months ago today gave me one of the scariest days of my life,” she concluded. “Men, be better. Ladies, be careful out there.”
Speaking to BuzzFeed, she said she blames herself for being kind to him and revealing the name of her school.
Brem has been on high alert since the incident. She started parking near the entrance to her school and allowed her co-workers to escort her to her car. She also makes sure to lock her doors and keep an eye out for his vehicle while driving.
Law enforcement told her she could apply for a restraining order if he tried to contact her again. She was also advised to tell him never to contact her again if he emails more “so there’s a paper trail”.
Brem hasn’t heard from him since he showed up at her school, but she wanted to share her story to remind women not to share personal information with strangers and men not to cross borders.
“It’s scary being a woman in this world,” she said.
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