Below we publish detailed excerpts from a letter sent to us by an anonymous Benedictine monk.
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Sometimes it happens that souls who find themselves in difficult and almost impossible moral situations go to a monastery in search of a solution. I believe there is a deeply Catholic instinct, going back to the time of the Desert Fathers, that drives souls living in the storm to seek a monastic refuge or a monk and say, “Father, give me a word.” The first thing I say to these souls is what our Father, Saint Benedict, says at the end of Chapter IV of the Holy Rule: “Et de Dei Miseria numquam desperare”: “And never despair of the mercy of God.” I invite these souls to perform frequent acts of hope. The Psalms are full of these acts of hope. A great offertory antiphon from Psalm 30 comes to mind:
You hoped for yourself, Domine: you said: Do it Deus meus, in manibus tuis tempora mea (Psalm 30:15-16).
I have placed my hope in you, Lord. I said: You are my God, my time is in your hands.
In manibus tuis tempora mea! This of course means: “Every moment of my life, every situation, every circumstance of my struggles, my desires, all my progress and all my setbacks are in your hands.” Nothing that belongs to me is unknown to you. You know everything. You see everything. I have placed my hope in you like an anchor in the sea.” Many times in my life I have said to Our Lord: Do it Deus meus, in manibus tuis tempora mea! “You are my God, my time is in your hands.”
There are souls who, at some moments in their lives, are unable to take a single big leap forward. To this I say: “Allow yourself to take the smallest step and entrust yourself to divine grace.” It is the smallest step taken by those who are weak, in difficulty and limited by seemingly impossible circumstances, who conquers the heart of God. After one small step comes another, and then another, and another. Finally the day comes when man looks back and realizes that he has come a long way through faithfulness to grace in small things.
If anyone wants to come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For of what use is it to a man if he gains the whole world and then loses and ruins himself? (Luke 9:23-25)
There is not a Christian who has not had to deal with painful and costly decisions. Some decisions may seem daunting and even impossible at first. However, big life-changing decisions begin with a first small step and with outstretched hands to the same Jesus who called Peter to walk toward him on the water.
But immediately Jesus turned to them and said, “Courage, it is I; do not be afraid.” Peter answered, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” And he said, “Come.” And Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water to Jesus to go. But when he saw the violence of the wind, he became afraid and as he began to submerge, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” . Jesus immediately stretched out his hand and grabbed him and said to him, “You of little faith , why did you doubt? (Matthew 14:27-31)
The great Catholic writer Julien Green (1900-1998) He spent much of his very long life in the agony of same-sex attraction. At the age of 19, he briefly considered Benedictine life, but never became a monk. At the end of his long life, however, the love of Christ prevailed. Through the intercession of the French nun and mystic Yvonne-Aimée de Jesus (1901–1951), Green was finally able to choose the love of Christ over all other loves that had fragmented his heart and left him dissatisfied, empty and sad. The inscription over Green's grave in the church of Sant'Egidio in Klagenfurt, Austria, says it all:
If I were the only man in the world,
God would send his only begotten Son
to be crucified for me and to die for me.
Some will say it's strangely proud to say that.
I do not believe it.
It is an idea that has occurred to more than one Christian.
But who would judge him then,
condemned, scourged and nailed to the cross?
I don't have the slightest doubt.
I would have done all of that.
Each of us can say this:
We can all say it, as many as we are and in every corner of the world.
If you're looking for a Jew to spit in your face,
here I am.
A Roman official questioning him?
A soldier mocking him?
An executioner nailing him to the wood
so that it will remain there until the end of time?
I am still the one capable of doing whatever is required.
A student who loves him?
Here is the most painful part of the whole story:
and at the same time the most mysterious,
because in the end you know better
that this is me. (Julien Green)
In the course of the declaration Trust suppliersMuch is written about difficult pastoral situations. Souls must be helped to escape sin by taking one small step at a time, always trusting in the grace of our Lord and never despairing of his mercy. Difficult pastoral situations are nothing new. In fact, they are as old as Mother Church herself. It has never been easy to follow our Lord Jesus Christ.
The man who tries to save his life will lose it; It is the man who loses his life for me who will preserve it. (Matthew 16:25)
For those who fall along the way, there is the sacrament of penance. And for those who cannot immediately escape an objectively sinful situation and still want to follow Christ, albeit from a distance (see Matthew 26:58), there is another solution. This other solution has proven time and time again to solve the most difficult pastoral situations and has made possible things that almost everyone on all sides thought were impracticable, if not impossible. “For with God nothing is impossible” (Luke 1:37). I learned about this other solution almost fifty years ago during a retreat in France that changed my life. I will call it “the Marian solution.”
The retreat preacher was an older priest, known for his unwavering fidelity to the traditional teaching of the Church and for his wisdom, his piety and his long experience in the guidance of souls. Fr , to break the bonds of the sinful relationship or to renounce the immediate cause of the sin.
I still remember the story that Father F. told: It was about a Catholic man and a Catholic woman, both still married to their respective spouses, who had lived together for many years in an objective state of sin while searching for a way to return to the sacraments. Father F. told them that they could not receive the sacraments as long as they lived together as husband and wife. Sensing her pain and not wanting to leave her without hope, Father F. suggested another solution. He asked the “spouses” if they wanted to follow his suggestion. The “spouses” were sincere and generous by nature and promised that they would do whatever was required of them.
Father F. asked the unhappy couple to go to a certain church on a certain Saturday morning and to meet him at the altar of the Blessed Virgin Mary. The couple appeared before the altar of the Blessed Virgin Mary at the appointed time; Father F. told them that he would celebrate Holy Mass in honor of the Blessed Virgin Mary and asked them to intervene in their difficult situation as her Immaculate Heart saw fit. For their part, the couple limited themselves to attending mass. Both wept bitterly during Mass, somehow connecting their tears with the drop of water mixed with the wine in the chalice.
At the end of the Mass, Father F. asked the couple to promise him three things: 1) faithfully attend Holy Mass every Sunday and public holiday, of course without receiving Holy Communion; 2) consecrate themselves to the Blessed Virgin Mary and wear the Miraculous Medal as a sign of consecration; 3) Pray the rosary together every evening. The couple promised to do all three. Within a year, all obstacles to their return to the sacraments were removed in a way that was miraculous for the couple and all who knew them. They could start over. The Blessed Virgin Mary, Mediatrix of all graces, obtained for them all the graces necessary to move forward in repentance and in perfect accordance with the teachings of her Son and the laws of the Church. The story appears to be taken from the pages of The Glories of Mary of Saint Alphonsus.
Father F. said that there were many other cases of similar miracles of grace This happened in difficult pastoral situations, simply because he proposed the Marian solution and the terms of the proposal were accepted. The Marian solution is just one way to put into practice what St. Alphonsus teaches in his wonderful pamphlet “On the Great Means of Prayer.” (…)
In all discussions Regarding the controversy caused by the Declaration of Fiducia Supplicans, what strikes me is how little is said about grace, the Blessed Virgin Mary and prayer. There is only one solution to difficult pastoral situations, and that solution is grace. Grace is obtained through prayer, and prayer is within the reach of every soul. There are souls who are confused by the words of the act of pain but can murmur a Hail Mary. May these souls do this very often. Mary, the Mediatrix of all graces, will not deny the grace of repentance to those who are unable to do more and simply call on her name.
It is a pity that Saint Bernard's great text, Respice Stellam, Voca Mariam, is almost never quoted by those who deal with souls in difficult pastoral situations. Ultimately, the Marian solution may not only be the best solution, but also the only solution.
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You who understand that at this time we are like castaways tossed between storms and waves, and not like men walking on solid earth, should not avert your gaze from the splendor of this star when you don't want to be overwhelmed by storms.
When the winds of temptation arise, when you encounter the rocks of trouble:
Look at the star and call on Mary.
When waves of pride, ambition, rejection and bitter rivalry wash over you:
Look at the star, call Mary.
When anger, greed, or the disordered desires of the flesh have shattered the ship of your spirit:
Look at the star, call Mary.
If you are troubled by the magnitude of your sins, confused by the consciousness of your great mistake and frightened by the terror of divine judgment, you will begin to fall into the abyss of sadness and despair:
Think of Mary.
In danger, in distress, in doubtful things:
Think of Mary, call Mary.
If you follow her, you won't go wrong.
If you pray to her, you will not despair.
If you think about them, make no mistake.
If she holds you, you won't fall.
If she protects you, you won't be afraid.
If she guides you, you won't get tired.
If it is favorable for you, you will achieve your goal.
(Saint Bernard, Praise to the Virgin Mother, Sermon 2:17)