There are personality tests all over the Internet, and it seems that everyone is looking for an easy way to answer carefully selected questions and find out secrets about themselves. Even more persistent are articles and quizzes designed to mystically inform you about the potential for a lasting bond with your love and to find out your relationship’s chances of success.
It seems like everywhere you can find someone who is either looking for love or trying to figure out if the love they’ve found is real.
This is probably thanks to Foreigner and other power ballad singer bands, but especially the entire ’80s.
Not all relationships are the same, and (incredibly curious) science has finally found a way to classify the boundaries, the commitment of your love, and the happiness and rewarding sensations you feel into specific groups for our subjective judging pleasure.
God bless you, science.
In 2016, three relationship scientists — and yes, that’s their real job, so you know what they’re talking about — studied about 400 unmarried couples in their mid-twenties to find out whether there is a definable way to determine the outcome of happiness and whether they were on the way to marriage and found out that yes, there is.
Based on answers to questions measuring how committed they feel to each other and how they feel toward their significant other, lead researcher Steven Ogolsky concluded that while there may be many types of people, there are only four specific ones There are categories into which every relationship can be assigned.
He even gave us easy ways to figure out where we fit and how to weigh our own relationships against others, which, according to the Internet, is all anyone has ever wanted anyway. Let’s immediately figure out which is which and where the likelihood of a happy marriage lies in your future, shall we?
There are only 4 types of couples – which type are you?
1. You are full of conflict but so in love
Also known as on-again-off-again couples. If you’re such a couple, you’ll probably even rock the stock market with your up-and-down relationship. Their commitment to each other varies over time – hot one minute, cold the next.
Conflicts drive you apart, but then passion drives you back into each other’s arms. When you’re together, you’re really together, but when you’re not, you definitely aren’t. Still, there is a certain definable attraction that keeps drawing you back to the person you’re crazy about, despite the obvious obstacles in the path of your relationship.
This type of crazy, passionate romance may not necessarily be doomed, but according to Ogulsky, it “may not be sustainable in the long run.” It can be pretty hectic maintaining a relationship when you never know what’s going to happen from one day to the next.
If your commitment to your partner wanes after you argue, you need to examine where you stand and make better decisions if you want a lasting relationship with that person.
2. You’re all about drama, drama, drama
Do you and your partner often find yourself in the middle of a new issue or problem? Do you often make spontaneous decisions based on problems outside of your relationship? Do you spend more time with your own friends, do your own things without really consulting, or do you try to do things as a couple? Then you’re in a dramatic relationship and my goodness, the waters are choppy.
According to Ogolsky, “These couples have many ups and downs and their commitment fluctuates greatly.” What does that mean exactly? Well, if you’re the type of person who focuses on the negative and allows other factors outside of your relationship to determine your opinion of your partner, then you’re going to focus on other factors around you, not your SO increasing the likelihood that you will both argue and break up.
“It’s not unlike when the transmission fails in your car and then the starter fails.
You start to see little things erode and you start to see the relationship in a negative light and soon you give up,” says Ogolsky.
If you find yourself in a dramatic relationship, you should quickly reconsider the decisions you make because people in such relationships are twice as likely to break up as the others.
3. You are both social butterflies
Does your perfect evening involve your significant other and a group of your friends that you all have in common? Do social activities become a focal point of your relationship because you do them together rather than breaking up and going your own ways?
Then you and your partner could have a social relationship that is strong because of the people and things you share with each other.
According to Ogulsky, “People in these couples feel closer and more committed when they have mutual friends.” In the end, you’ll be a pretty stable couple with a high level of happiness and friendship because your partner is also someone you enjoy being with go out and spend time.
This is good news for you because in the long run you are sharing things that will increase the likelihood that your relationship will last.
4. You focus on your partner and it shows
You love spending time with your partner. You do everything together, share hobbies and enjoy each other equally, and this special bonding time actually increases the likelihood that the relationship will be much happier in the future.
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You won’t allow outside sources to influence your decisions, and you’ll be more likely to discuss your problems with each other and be more proactive.
Are you enjoying time with your partner and making sure you put each other first? Then you are lucky enough to be in a relationship that, according to the study, was the most satisfying overall!
The purpose of categorizing these relationships is to help you identify where you are now and where you want to be.
It can make you think about the longevity of your relationship in its current state and how you can either move it forward with good decisions or improve it by pursuing positive goals together.
No matter what type of relationship you’re in, know that your happiness and commitment to each other ultimately depends on both of you – and don’t accept anything less than fantastic.
Merethe Najjar is a professional writer, editor, and award-winning fiction author. Her articles have appeared in Aviator Magazine, Infinite Press, Yahoo, BRIDES, and more.