For “empowered, super-successful woman” (in her words) 2020 Britain April Banbury can be quite stupid when it comes to men.
She’s met with God knows how many online in the last few years, dated more than 100 of them, and slept with “the ones I thought I might have a relationship with.” Then . . .
“They’re just ghosting me,” she says with a look that is partly angry, partly hurt on her very beautiful face.
They will give you all this information – “I’m looking for a serious relationship” and “I want to settle now” or “you’re all I want in a partner” – all this and then, before you know it, you send messages: “Did you forget to pay your phone bill? Because I haven’t heard from you. “
April – height: 5 feet 5 inches, bust size: 32E (my breasts are real. I developed very quickly. I have stretch marks everywhere “), Ms. GB’s mission:” to enable other women to never refuse “- turned 33 on Sunday.
With this “super successful” career as a dress designer – the dresses cost £ 1,500 each – a chic maiden apartment in poster for Millennials and is rightly proud of his achievements.
But she is, she admits in this surprisingly honest interview, terribly lonely and completely disappointed with the predatory world of online dating, in which, in her experience, women are expected to “give up” on a second date.
“I did not sleep with all of them. There may have been five in the last few years, ”she confided, leaning forward in her chair
April Banbury, Britain 2020, says she has a hard time finding love and has been “ghostly” by men
“But dates never come to fruition because I’m haunted or have red flags. Red flags?”
“When they meet several women or when they start canceling meetings and they are hot and cold.
You don’t hear from them for weeks, and then they’ll hear and say, “Oh, I was thinking about you that day.”
I think, Well, you didn’t think about me two weeks ago. There was no time for me then. “
“They pick you up and let you go when they want.” I’m never a ghost guys. I will be honest and say that I do not feel connected.
“I do not know why they cannot do the same. I guess they don’t like the confrontation. It’s easier for them to jump from one girl to another, say nothing, and hope you don’t go crazy.
“It makes you feel used – that you’re not good enough. You think, “What did I do wrong?” Why don’t they want me? Why do they treat me like that? “After a while, it exhausts you. It makes you wonder.
“But I’m not really okay.” It’s the fact that men just can’t keep it in their pants and cling to a woman. Online dating is already too accessible for them.
“If you don’t give up on the first or second date, they’ll just go and find someone to do it. Online dating has confused everything.
April is actually a fun, pretty woman with a natural beauty that makes you gasp.
She was crowned Britain’s first lady two years ago, shortly before the first blockade of Covid, when she impressed judges with her talent for fashion and commitment to helping young girls with eating disorders as an ambassador for the SEED charity.
Indeed, you would think that most red-blooded men would consider themselves the happiest man on the planet to have a lasting relationship with her.
This is not the case, it seems, in April’s experience in the world of “one-time” (her word) online dating.
Mrs. Banbury is pictured at her home in south-west London. She remembers being a catfish victim at a previous meeting
“We no longer talk to people we meet in real life and we don’t build relationships. Even in the subway or on the bus, no one talks to anyone anymore.
“If a person wants to talk to you, he will not talk to you in a bar. It’s too much effort. He can enter an app, swipe right, and hide behind his phone, pretending to be someone he isn’t.
“I’ve eaten catfish before.” She is referring to a user of a fake identity dating app. “I’ve been talking to him for a few weeks because he was on holiday, so we didn’t have a chance to meet.
“We really understand each other in terms of personality. I thought, “Oh my God, this is it. He is amazing. ” I went to a bar to see him, but I couldn’t see him. I texted him, “You’re not here.”
He said, “I’m here in the corner.” I wrote: “I can’t see you. Wave me a hand or something. ” So he waves and no one else waves. I thought, “Oh my God, that can’t be him.”
“He didn’t look like his profile.” He was shorter – probably my height – and very skinny. He could be a different person.
“He may have used the profile of his brother, his adopted brother.”
Her eyes widen in indignation. I can’t help but laugh. “It’s getting worse,” she warns me.
“I think I will give him a chance because he has a good character. Maybe this will grow into physical attraction or whatever.
“I sat down and he sneezed, then wiped his nose in his hand. I’m so OK with things and the snot was on his arm. Just leave it there.
I thought, “Well, you’re not the right person. You have snot on your arm and I will melt. ” I had to apologize and leave.
She sways with laughter, but her mood rises to sixpence and she looks inexorably sad.
“In the past, my grandparents met for a walk. They Talked. This is how you find a connection.
“People don’t want to do that because they’re hiding behind a dating app. You don’t know who you’re talking to. They can pretend to be anyone, sell your dream and then … ”
She shakes her head.
Ms. Banbury in the photo arrives for the evening’s Dirty Dancing: The Musical press show at The Dominion Theater in London earlier this month
“I was in a relationship with someone – a man who was so beautiful and stunning. I couldn’t believe my luck. We saw each other for about 18 months, but he flirted with girls and I didn’t like him.
“Call it something like insecurity, jealousy or whatever, but I believe it wasn’t right. It didn’t make me feel good about myself.
“I offered to split up.” I really wanted him to fight for me, but he didn’t. Hell, he didn’t.
“It simply came to our notice then. About a year later he met someone else. On his Instagram, he had had a romantic dinner with her on holiday. I thought, “How dare you meet someone else and bond with them when you’re not engaged to me.” It made me feel terrible. After that I became a serial meeting.
“I would have gone to so many meetings that it was shocking, but I knew the feeling I felt when I met him. You know, that fluffy belly?
“You really like someone.” You want to spend time with them. I knew this feeling existed, so I chased it. I’ve been on so many dates and I’ve never had one.
In addition to designing dresses for competitions, April, who was raised largely by her beloved grandmother Dorothy after her mother left her father, Olympic cyclist Ian Banbury, when she was eight, worked as a VIP luxury bridal stylist for more. tall – with brides, celebrities and things like that ‘.
When she raised an eyebrow, given her disastrous love life, the irony was lost. For a super successful woman, April can sometimes be amazingly sad.
Take her early ambition to become a beauty queen. She pursues “my dream” through anorexia as a teenager and terrible bullying at school, which prompted me to become someone else in essence – a confident man who was ready to take over the world. I put on my rollers, curled my hair, adjusted it, and my confidence grew.
When she won Mrs. Britain, her father, who always impressed her that the second best is not an option, you have to be the best at everything you do, was “enthusiastic”.
“This was the first British woman, so I went down in history,” she said. “My father was so proud to have represented Britain in cycling at the Olympics, and then I did it in this race. He said “the champions are fleeing the family.”
She impressed the judges with her talent for fashion and her commitment to helping young girls with eating disorders as an ambassador for the charity SEED
“Going on stage in a bikini doesn’t mean doing it to show off and show off and get compliments. It’s about showing that you are happy and confident enough in your own skin. This enables other women to believe that they can achieve anything.
But doesn’t it look like he’ll be happy? Did she try to build a relationship on friendship, I suggest. She looks really terrified.
“Boys don’t want to be friends, do they?” They want sex. If I tell a person in a dating app, “Let’s just be friends,” it will never happen.
“If we went out in the evening, they would try it. You go on first dates and guys try to kiss you in the restaurant, even when they can’t bother talking to you.
“There was a man who took me to a nice restaurant – I think it was Hakassan [the Michelin-starred Cantonese restaurant in Mayfair].
“He was successful, led by a career with a real estate company on the sidelines. I think he may have been used to women throwing themselves at him.
“He wasn’t really talking to me.” He would pick up his phone and talk to his friends or business partner. I didn’t want to say anything because. . . well, you know, business is business.
“Then he came, sat down next to me, grabbed my thigh and said, ‘Tell me about you.’ Then the phone would ring again. It was his mother and he was really grabbed and touched by me. I thought, “Wow.”
“I had dinner and told him I had to get up early in the morning.”
“I haven’t had a one-night stand. The second date is probably the earliest – the second or third or fourth.
“I do not know why they treat us like that. Is it because we are independent and powerful and men don’t like that?
“I have men saying, ‘Well, if you don’t want to be treated like that, you shouldn’t dress the way you dress.’ I would say, “I am empowered.
“Women’s empowerment is such a powerful thing. We should be able to do and say what we want without men making fun of us and telling us who we can and who we can’t be.
After all, hearing her talk in her one-bedroom apartment, where a bunch of red roses she had just bought withered in a vase on the table, doesn’t seem like empowerment.
“I want someone who respects me, who supports me, who is kind – just a nice person – and has your best interests in his heart. But it’s hard to find good guys – so hard. They are all such a nightmare.