Singer Taylor Swift’s arrival in the mighty NFL couldn’t have come at a better time for Florence-Agathe Dubé-Moreau, partner of Laurent Duvernay-Tardif, who is releasing a book about her experiences as a football player’s wife this week.
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“She’s a pop icon, but we’re making a girl visible in a man’s industry. And very specifically […]It’s about more ticket sales, more jersey sales, more television ratings. “These are things that translate into money,” Ms. Dubé-Moreau noted of Swift, who attended the games of her new boyfriend Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs, the same team “LDT” played with. She won the 2020 Super Bowl.
“She [les dirigeants de la ligue] I set out to find a new, predominantly female audience, and I find that very promising. “There is a lot to be said for the potential that sport could have through a stronger approach, appreciation and visibility of women,” adds the author of the feminist essay “Hors Jeu” in an interview with “Le Journal”.
Florence-Agathe Dubé-Moreau is an art historian who parachuted into the world of the NFL. Photo Justine Latour, provided by Emma-Félix Laurin
An “industry designed by and for men”
With training in contemporary ballet and a master’s degree in art history, the independent curator, who designs and organizes exhibitions like the centenarian Françoise Sullivan at the Museum of Fine Arts in Montreal, had no idea what planet she was headed to in the Midwest to land in the USA.
“The impetus for the book was the fact that I parachuted into the NFL in 2014 when my boyfriend was drafted by the Kansas City Chiefs,” says the girlfriend of the man, who studied medicine at McGill University.
“It’s a region of the United States that is much more traditional, conservative and religious than what I was used to as a French-speaking person living in Montreal and working in the arts. There was an element of surprise,” she continues.
“It was a big culture shock. […] So there was a lot to discover, to decipher, to understand.”
Ms. Dubé-Moreau therefore wants to take readers, regardless of gender, age and level of passion for the sport, behind the scenes of an “industry designed by and for men”.
Once or twice a month, Florence-Agathe Dubé-Moreau visited her friend Laurent Duvernay-Tardif, who played for the Kansas City Chiefs. Photo provided by Florence-Agathe Dubé-Moreau
The black sheep
Unlike several other WAGS (wives and girlfriends), Ms. Dubé-Moreau traveled back and forth between Montreal and Kansas City once or twice a month and pursued her career as an art historian in Quebec. Unmarried and childless, she stood out.
“I felt like the black sheep, out of phase with this universe I was discovering. It is very difficult to feel included and considered as a woman, regardless of body position,” she recalls, pointing out that several partners also work.
“I was often asked by people who lived in Montreal, sometimes in the art world, why I stayed in Montreal and that I wouldn’t help Laurent in Kansas City,” she says. There is still something very sexist in sports where women are expected to support athletes. But if I had decided to quit my job and move to Kansas City, I would have experienced different types of prejudice. People would have seen my choice as lazy because I think I’m making a living and taking advantage of the situation.”
Florence-Agathe Dubé-Moreau and her sweetheart, Laurent Duvernay-Tardif, when he won the American NFL Association championship with the Chiefs in Kansas City in 2020. Photo provided by Florence-Agathe Dubé-Moreau
Recognition and appreciation
What the author denounces, although she has fond memories of her experience, is the lack of recognition from the NFL towards the better halves, but also towards the women who are trying to find their place in a circle that generates billions of dollars.
“I feel that the NFL benefits greatly from certain value systems that are more patriarchal in nature to ultimately benefit from all the work that spouses do at home, such as psychological and health support when players are injured and not from child care.” ” analyzes Ms. Dubé-Moreau.
Girls told him how difficult the mental strain, the “invisible work,” was. Just packing her husband’s suitcase is stressful. They need to “make sure everything is optimized at home so they can just focus on the game.”
“The NFL doesn’t do much to recognize the contributions these women make to the players and their achievements,” noted the woman, who did not wear a jersey in her partner’s name.
The art historian was also there when “LDT” won the Super Bowl in Miami in 2020. Photo provided by Florence-Agathe Dubé-Moreau
Florence-Agathe Dubé-Moreau and her sister Sophie-Charlotte were in Miami during the Super Bowl in February 2020. Photo provided by Florence-Agathe Dubé-Moreau
“Completely absurd situations”
Quebecers have simple solutions: daycare centers in training centers or stadiums, distance bonuses when women change employers and need to move, help when teachers or real estate agents need to get new licenses in a state, or even parental leave.
“This creates completely absurd situations in which girls are admitted on Mondays or Tuesdays because these are men’s usual days off, so that their boyfriends can accompany them to the hospital to give birth.”
“At the last Super Bowl, a player’s spouse [Jason Kelce, des Eagles de Philadelphie] “I was talking to her gynecologist in case she went into labor so she had someone to go to the hospital with,” she gives as an example.
Some will say they have “no right to complain with their mouth full” considering her husband is rich, but Ms. Dubé-Moreau says players on average play in the NFL for about three years.
Laurent Duvernay-Tardif and Florence-Agathe Dubé-Moreau invited Montrealers to celebrate the Kansas City Chiefs’ Super Bowl conquest at the Fête des neiges grounds at Espace 67 in Montreal’s Parc Jean-Drapeau in February 2020. Photo agency QMI, TOMA ICZKOVITS
Without forgetting the cheerleaders
Florence-Agathe Dubé-Moreau could not ignore the working conditions of cheerleaders, who must respect a code of conduct written and monitored by men.
A guide that regulates their clothing (even on vacation), their weight, their opinions, their hairstyle, their makeup, etc.
Some cheerleaders were victims of reductive and sexist stereotypes and weren’t even paid and had to buy their uniform! They demanded better treatment and denounced harassment.
Cincinnati Bengals cheerleaders, September 17. Getty Images via AFP
Slowly but surely
During Laurent Duvernay-Tardif’s sporting career from 2014 to 2022, Ms. Dubé-Moreau therefore experienced a quiet development. She remembers the “power” of the moment when she saw a full-time female referee in the NFL or the first female assistant coach in 2015.
“These girls come into industries where they are very alone and excluded. It’s also difficult to break through and stay for a long time,” she assures.
The NFL has also improved the “Rooney Rule,” a rule that specifically requires teams to grant interviews to minorities (racial and female) for executive, general manager or coaching positions.
“Maybe one day we’ll see a head coach in the NFL!”
“I feel like things are moving slowly, but I want things to speed up,” asks Ms. Dubé-Moreau, who is excited about the launch of the new professional women’s hockey league. Viewers must demand more representation and also that leagues, franchises, broadcasters and partners must take responsibility and try to close the existing gap, both when it comes to the place of women in the industry. Men’s sports and the underrepresentation of women’s sports in the media.
Like other spouses of NFL football players, Florence-Agathe had to participate in activities and entertain friends and family during games. Photo provided by Florence-Agathe Dubé-Moreau
“LDT” read it
And for those wondering whether Ms. Dubé-Moreau waited for her husband to announce his retirement from the NFL last month before releasing her book, she answers that the work was originally scheduled for last year. The lack of time due to work postponed the deadline.
The LDT Foundation Co-President also confirms that “Laurent read every single page” and that they “discussed each of these topics.”
This shows that gender equality is not a taboo between the two lovers.
Relatives during a game of “LDT,” wearing the New York Jets colors in 2021 and 2022. Photo provided by Florence-Agathe Dubé-Moreau
Excerpts from the book Offside
“We place the WAGS [wifes and girlfriends – épouses et petites amies] in an impossible situation: if they don’t support their husband, it’s suspicious, if they support him too much, it’s suspicious. They are expected to be feminine, but not too feminine. In the media, they need to encourage their man without doing too much or putting themselves out there too much. Their room for maneuver is very limited, and I find their courage immense in the face of the misogynistic hostility of digital spaces.”
“[…] At the end of the games, families were invited to come down from the stands and join their loved ones on the field. […] Amazed, I watch this makeshift team in which a little girl dressed as a cheerleader makes a pass to a friend dressed as a soccer player and the two then jump together toward the goal line. Once the cheerleader and the football player score a touchdown, nothing interrupts their celebrations. And yet the scene is astonishing. Not only will a cheerleader and a soccer player never score points together, but that little girl, unlike the boy, will never be able to play properly on that field. Little girls don’t become soccer players.”
Florence-Agathe Dubé-Moreau is publishing a book about the position of women in football and sport, a feminist essay entitled “Hors Jeu”, published by Remue-Ménage. Photo provided by Emma-Félix Laurin, illustrations Kim Kielhofner